
BLEDARR. Lightning and thunder are like fighting for the attention of the almighty. A speck of water from the sky fell on the sandal end of a mourner who looked at the bark of wood that stuck on a mound of soil sprinkled with flowers. His strong body occasionally trembled while holding back the water that hit his body, God's plan is indeed no one knows, what our end of life will be like? Good or bad, we are like a character in a story and God is the author.
Now the atmosphere at the cemetery began to quiet little by little people began to leave the new mound but he remained there in clothes that were now wet by the cries of the sky.
Had I activated my phone that time, had I been on time to pick her up, had I not left it alone. “Arrggghh!!” I'm shuffling frustrating hair. From any point of view I am the cause I should have kept my phone activated if I had activated it maybe he wouldn't have experienced something this bad. He tried to keep waiting for me even though all I did at that time was meetings, meetings and meetings.
“Let him let him go quietly in nature sana” said a middle-aged woman to the young man. “Kasian him if you can not mengikhlaskan” continued middle-aged woman “God is not fair why should he be called earlier?” said the young man while crying and occasionally his body trembled. “You can't be like that, no one knows when? so you should be able to give it”. It is hard to lose someone we love if time can repeat itself maybe he will not be lucky like this, if only I drive him home he will not be a victim of the thugs. Want me to scream as loud as I want to curse myself I want to punish myself now I have no direction in life.
Ever since the funeral I went straight back home, this feeling I felt was really erratic, I still couldn't believe what was happening, my friends tried to encourage me but my ears seemed unwilling to listen to all that. One by one my friends say goodbye because I may be bored continuously. I took a few days' permission not to go to school, even the teachers seemed to understand my current situation.
“Nak you can not keep this up, you have to be strong nak” said my mother I was still silent without sound as if in a vacuum. “You want well he won't be happy to see you like this, you have to explain him son, son, God is more affectionate with him” “Kalo God does love him the same he should be god love him a little more time so that he can reach his goals” continued me “All has destiny, son, you can't blame God, sin” said my mother, I fell silent again my emotions were very unstable at that time.
That night all I could do was cry until I fell asleep in the cold night atmosphere as if supporting this mood of mine. In the morning I was very difficult to open my eyes because the bruise in these eyes made it difficult to see the bitter reality, I did activities like usual all my memories with him again popping up, popping up, when I saw the picture frame clearly on my study table the photo was with him and me smiling at each other. My breath was back in tightness I slowly took a breath and threw it away slowly I had to stay calm I had to try to make it happen but my heart was like a rebel as if it did not want to forget the good memories with it. He and I were best friends from childhood and we wanted to have a household together, yes we intend to get married when I graduate but it's really hard memories are spinning back in my brain.
I started to get closer to him, this time my heart felt like it wanted to be dislodged. My hands started to slowly raise, almost touching her cheeks. When this hand touched her cheek, there was no sting in my body. I'm like not touching anything “You can't touch me. We've had another world” the girl slipped her grief in a sincere smile, no answer. I started to vent to ask “What brings you back to this world?” he smiled and was one step closer to me. I feel her breath so cold “I want to take you somewhere” said the girl whispered “Close your eyes now.” Further. I followed his orders to close my eyes.
“Now try to open your eyes slowly” Continue. Once I opened my eyes slowly how surprised I was that there were so many spirits here and again the air here was so cold that even the air exceeded the ice poles, the air reflected how lonely all the spirits were here without anyone near them. “Welcome this is my world now”. “Come I want to take you for a walk to my world” Next while grabbing my hand. I just follow it, this place is very crowded by spirits but they are indifferent to each other.
I followed his footsteps, from a distance I saw a door. He began to approach the door, I followed him from behind. Getting closer to the foreign door, it turned out that it was not a door but rather hundreds of doors plastered clearly in front of my eyes at this moment. Unknowingly, I was right in front of the foreign door. “This is my door to the heavenly realm” he said. I saw the door from top to bottom I was really surprised at the door was clearly engraved my name. “This what?” ask her. He smiled at me and said that it was the name of someone who had not been able to tell someone off, if the door of a spirit is still written in the name of a person, it will not open as long as there is still no one who has not let go and for that long he will remain in a dark world this cold itself without any warmth. “You have been so good with me, I know that you really love me but you must be able to make my departure because I have to go to the heavenly realm sana”. I was stunned so all this time I've been making him trouble because of all this ego? I also lowered my head. My shoulders stung, I looked back. Seen that smile (again) “Maf” I also lowered my head back “Sorry me, because of me you so died and because I also you so not calm gini. I am not useful!” said crying.
Right now he's right in front of me, yet I'm still down. He held my face full of tenderness, then raised it slowly rubbing the tears that flooded my face “Don't cry, this is not your fault. It is my destiny to be like this. You should try to let go of” again he smiled like that, a smile that always revolved my memory, a smile that always filled my days, a smile that managed to make me melt. And now, his last request I'm going to follow though is heavy but I have no reason to refuse it. Everyone will certainly return to the creator “I will try to give you” I smiled at him. His hand turned from my face “Thank You” he then hugged me tightly I closed my eyes, until finally I did not feel any touch anymore. As soon as I realized, he was gone.
I woke up, the dream was real or it wasn't a dream. I don't know, for sure he's really like real. I have also let it go, I do not want it to continue to be trapped in the spirit realm. I'm not supposed to be like this, God has already decided everything. God also had other plans when he left my life, God loves me so much but I love what he created. I shouldn't be like that! Thank you, he has reminded me to love you more.