
In order to avoid the commotion, Mayra was willing to budge and we quickly left from there. Not far away, we were just sitting in the hospital canteen. I told the bodyguards to sit down and have a cup of coffee. Their pity had not warmed their bodies, even their clothes were still moist, almost dry in their bodies.
"May. I can't say anything. Under these circumstances, I simply cannot be a good entertainer."
Mayra nodded. "I understand, Ra. You're here, I'm grateful." He cleared slowly. "Sorry, yes, about that. His mother Mas Alfi...."
"It's okay, I understand. Not your fault, though. It's just that. emm.honestly, I don't like it when you're silent without a fight, don't try to defend yourself in the least. Should've...."
Mayra smiled faintly, tasteless. "He's Mas Alfi's mother, which means my mother too. Aye, right?"
I just put my shoulders down. You're too good, May.
"I'm used to it, Ra. There's no way I'm fighting back, I don't want Mas Alfi to be disappointed in me."
Huh.. desaha* escaped my lips. "Alright, I can't comment any more then. That's your choice."
"Well, now you know everything, right? My real life is like this. It's not perfect."
I can't answer. My feelings have been represented by tears. "I'm sad, May. If you can protest, or if you can force God, I want Him to make you happy. Here..," my voice choked. "It's not fair to you."
"That's it, don't discuss it. As it is, it cannot be changed or forced. I accept."
Silent. We were silent for a moment.
"Ra," he said later. "May I ask for your help?"
I'm nodding my head. "certainly could. What's?"
Mayra clasped my hand and said, "I'll stand guard here. Can I leave Tirta to you? Please?"
"Yes" I said.
"Thank you." She was crying as much as she could.
"Here, don't cry."
"It's okay, May."
"Sorry, Ra. We don't have anybody."
"Sst. There's me, there's Mas Reza. You're not alone."
Mayra tried to wipe away her tears. "Yeah, I'm grateful, God brought a sister like you to me through Reza. You know, right, I just never considered. Moreover.."-- he shook his head-"Tirta is not their grandson."
Although this is not my story, I also feel the pain. I'm nodding. "Already, yeah. I understand. Emm... May I ask you one more thing?"
Mayra nodded. "certain. What do you want to ask?"
I'm throats. "Today is the seventh. Mas Alfi should be with you, right?"
Mayra was stunned, then for a moment then she nodded. "Yeah," he said. "He should be with me."
"Then? Why her...?"
Mayra shakes. "It's mundane. I have been too, right? When you vacation in Bali, Mas Alfi for days with me. When we went to Palembang, to your wedding...."
"That's different, May...."
Mayra smile. No, he chuckled - to be exact laughing at himself. "Unfortunately husband to his wife, he will be more affectionate to his children. Real children, they occupy the top position of everything. Mas Alfi will not stand if his children have whined to ask him to come or just ask for a walk. Children will always be his top priority."
I nodded because I understood. YEP, I GET IT. Really, I get it. "That sounds good. Unfortunately, it's not always so. If all fathers were like that, Ihsan and Ihsan would not lose my father."
God, without me knowing, I muttered to myself.
"Okay, sorry, Ra. I didn't mean to...."
I smile. "It's okay. Don't talk about it anymore."
The past, let it be the past. Don'tdon't....