Hot Couple: Love Story Inara Season 3
The Guilt that Haunts

Most people only know live collage scenes as black and white portraits. There is an area that is often forgotten by them, namely the gray area. You can't just determine who's right and who's wrong. Who is on the right path or who is on the wrong path. Because in real life, you are not God who has the right to determine who sins or not.

That -- I read once on the internet site. And it's just right. Others have no right to determine and judge others right or wrong, sinful or not, because man is not God.

But when you feel guilty, whatever others say to convince you that you're innocent, still - it means nothing. That guilt will be undermined from within, exactly what I am experiencing right now. And it feels so different when I do things out of hatred and revenge, because...

It wasn't me who killed Salsya, but it was because of me that she was killed. That's why I feel so guilty.

"Darling," call Reza.

"Emm?"

"I want to ask you something."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, but... do you need...?"

I know exactly what he wants to ask. And this is not the right time to indulge the ego, I should not be offended.

"What, Mas? Need doctor? A psychologist? Ustadz for rukiah? Or Aris?" I looked up, looking deeply into his eyes. "I don't need."

Reza nodded with guilt. "Sorry," he said, then he hugged and I leaned back against his chest.

"Mas" I said later.

"What?"

"Are there any studies for Salsya?"

Reza stunned. Naturally, because the question was thrown by me, the figure of the woman who had hated Salsya so much. "No idea" he answered. "But he has no family. He said he had an aunt, a distant relative, I mean his mother's brother, but a half-brother, that's overseas. I.. sori, I don't think about that."

I looked up while slightly shifting from the chest of his field. "Can we have a tahlilan event to pray for Salsya?"

Practically, Reza looked at me in wonder. "You sure?" tanyakanya.

"Darling-"

"If that night I didn't tell you to go-"

"Shhh.. already, yes. Don't torture yourself with guilt."

"But I was wrong. Maybe my dreams are punishment-"

"Darling, enough! Don't talk about this anymore. You're innocent, okay?"

What is okay? I know I'm guilty. At least I had a hand in this.

"You want to, don't you, hold a birthday party for him? I beg?"

Again, Reza nodded. He approved my request. "Later I ask Erik to take care of everything. It might be best held in a parlor. It's not good here."

I think it's good. I breathe heavily. "May I go to Salsya's tomb?"

"Darling...."

I looked into his eyes with hope. "Please..," whine. "I beg you, huh? Take me there, Mas. Maybe after that my feelings improved a little."

Reza sighed* and finally replied before hugging me again. "Okay, if that makes me feel better. We'll make a pilgrimage to his grave."

"Thank you, Mum."

At the same time, the voice of the morning azan reverberated. Realizing that my body was sticky from the sweat, I broke free from his embrace. "You pray first, Mas. I'm gonna take a shower first."

"Let me help. We take a shower first, we pray together."

Oh, my God, thank you, Mom. You are very attentive to me, and so understanding. Despite all the injuries I've been through, I'm lucky to have a husband like you.