
I'm losing balance. Staggered and held the edge of the sink tightly. I looked at my reflection in the bathroom mirror. The shadow of a young woman with a disheveled and non-luminous face. My face is dull, my eyes are sloppy, not passionate. My stomach feels wrapped around -- not wrapped around anymore, but stirred. I closed my eyes and more tightly held the edge of the sink. I tried to inhale as much oxygen as possible to expel nausea.
However, what happened later...
I quickly shifted to the toilet sitting next to me - - spewing out stomach contents.
"Honey," Reza's voice sounded after a knock on the door.
I took a deep breath and exhaled before replying in a raucous voice, "Just enter, Mas."
"Nausea?"
I don't give any answers to questions that don't need those answers. Reza rushed over and grabbed my arms, leading me back to bed. He took a glass of mineral water and asked me to drink it. My throat feels more comfortable and comfortable. "Please get me some eucalyptus oil, Mas," asked Reza, who was filled with it, and even applied it directly to my stomach and back.
"You're going to the hospital?"
I shook weakly. "Bored, Mas, in and out of the hospital," I said gasping. I felt like my body was very weak and powerless after spitting out stomach contents.
"Need something? Or want to eat?"
I shove my head again. "I don't taste."
Reza lowered his head, then nodded his head heavily. He rubbed the back of my hand with his thumb. "Don't wake up if you're still dizzy and nauseous, just rest."
"Yes, I woke up because of my kebelet. Pingin peed."
For a moment Reza looked at my face. After that he smiled. His thumb moved to the cheek - rubbing my face gently. "If you want to go to the bathroom again, call me, yes. Let kugendong. Danger if you fall."
I just nodded. Yep, Reza was outside because I was asleep. This is why I do not like to stay at home people, of course Reza does not feel good if you have to stay in the room even though it is to take care of me.
From the bed, I looked out the window. The sky is bright blue with white clouds. Some birds fly by. The bright atmosphere that morning was not able to make me happy and comfortable. How can you be happy if you can only enjoy it from behind the window? In bed, anyway!
Yesterday, I did not dream, but I still could not sleep well. I woke up a few times feeling nervous. So, how can I have a dream if I barely sleep all night?
I decided to close my eyes. Besides feeling tired, I try not to get too late in the grief. I know, the more I think negatively, the sadder I get. However, still a drop of tears dripped slowly from the corner of the eye, falling onto the pillow.
Reza who was sitting leaning by my side just fell silent. He just kept wiping my head. I know he's trying to always look tough in front of me.
"I don't want to bother you, Mom. Not making you worry about my situation. But how else? I don't want this either."
Reza smiled - a sad smile. "It's not about the hassle, honey," he said. "You can take any serepot, I'll be happy to take care of you. I just. I don't like to see you sick, I don't like you suffering psychic like this. I want you to be healthy, happy. I'm...."
I sighed* again, staring at the pale white ceiling of the room. What a sad and empty sight. Naturally, this guest room, clearly different from our bedroom in Jakarta which is decorated with photos of husband and wife who are super sexy - just wrapped in a towel. I miss going back to Jakarta, living in our own house full of freedom to make out anywhere. But circumstances are not possible, many factors are a hindrance.
"May I take a sleeping pill? I'll be healthy if I get enough rest." I looked at Reza expectantly.
Reza nodded. "Later I'll call Auntie, the aunt from the hospital. But now you eat first, yeah. I'll get you some food."
I shakes reluctantly. "Later on, Mas. Still tired."
"I feed a little bit" he persuaded. I'm still shaking. Feeling unresponsive, Reza immediately triggered his mantra, "I obey your will, you must also be willing to obey my will. Okay?"
Hearing that, I smiled weakly. "Bas on the forcible!" I said.
Reza chuckles. "You like to be forced. If you're quick to comply, there won't be any forced scenes, will you?"
Inevitably, my smile instantly expanded. "Yes, I like being forced by you. But I'd like to eat fish sweet sour sauce, yeah. Order it for me, please...."
With a big smile, Reza kissed my hand. "Ready, Mistress. Anything for you."
Oh, thank you, my super-vigilant husband.