Loving Paralyzed Men
Fight on

Akira went to the cafeteria to buy and ate half of the sandwiches he chose on the menu. Akira looked at his watch, showing it at 08:30 a.m. Her grandmother must have been waiting for her and was very hopeful for Akira to succeed in their work plan.

Lidia, Akira's grandmother is the most important person in her life. Since childhood Akira lived with his grandparents after his parents died in a tragic accident. Akira and his grandmother drew and sewed, working together since Akira was a child. Akira got a talent in designing from his grandmother.

Akira took his cell phone from the bag and called his grandmother.

"Continue everything today alone Oma, I won't come."

In shock Oma Lydia replied, "Are you sick dear? You sound so tired."

"I didn't sleep all night, but I'm fine Oma, Dimas is being treated at XXX hospital."

"Dimas? What's he doing in this town?"

"I don't know, the doctor said he had Guillain-Bare syndrome. He's paralyzed. She could have died...” Akira's voice sounded vibrating.

“Oma is sorry for her pain, but you have no obligation to take care of her, you are just sympathetic.”

“Oma, I want to help her. Ihaveto. I don't know why.”

“You're still crazy about him, aren't you?”

“I thought all this time no, until I saw it again.” Akira felt his throat dry. “I've been hurt a long time. But I'm happy now. I love the life I am living right now. I feel so perfect with our boutique Oma.”

“You deserve to be happy dear. You must be proud of your hard work.” said Oma Lyidia

“Thank you Oma. Now I don't know what to do about Dimas. As Oma knew, our marriage did not go well. She expects me to be a jewel to her. I started to feel like a trophy he won and proudly put on display. What I need is a husband who can support me to challenge my own abilities. I need a partner, not a guard. My heart is deeply wounded for leaving her, but I must leave.or I can suffocate.”.

Akira sobbing. “But still, he was very sick Oma, and he asked me to come. I can't just leave it.”

“Well baby, don't worry about our work for the next few days. You know I'll finish our design in time. God will surely give the best time for us.”

“It is not a matter of Oma time, I spent a lot of funds to develop our design. I'm still sure we'll make it. The design is so beautiful. But I have to find investors if we want to start production and pay our loan.”

“Those friends of your consultant, Dwi. What does he suggest?”

“Dwi Harris? He said what we already know. We must have funds within six months, or.” Akira stopped talking as tears began to fall on his cheeks.

“You should rest, baby. Try not to worry about us here. We've fought so far, and we've never given up. I'll tell you not to worry about Dimas too much, yahh but I know I'm just wasting my breath. See you..” says Oma Lidia.

Akira shook his shoulders, grateful for the words of encouragement from his grandmother.

Oma's right, of course. We'll get funding, however. We have to get it.

Akira stopped in the break room, washed his face with water, then tied his hair tightly before returning to the ICU room. Akira waited until the doctor finished examining Dimas's lung condition. Then he entered a closed room full of bright light.

“I feel weaker Kira.”

Dimas' voice really showed that he was in such a weak state, but what was clearly visible from the look on his face was disappointment and fear.

“Did Doctor Jerry say you'd get weaker?”

“I can feel it. I can't clench my hands or move my arms.”

Akira's heart was so hurt hearing Dimas' words.

The spirit!

“Doctor Jerry says it may be a symptom of Guillain-Bare syndrome.”

“Sleep Dimas, you must become stronger to fight this pain.” Akira's voice sounded so fiery cheering Dimas. “I'll help you.” If you want, Akira continued slowly.

The word “Yaa” from Adam sounds vague. Makes Akira unsure that Dimas said it.

Akira sat beside Dimas' bed and looked at him who was asleep. Dimas looks neater because his beard and mustache have been shaved and his hair has been combed well.

Dimas must have felt very miserable and humiliated because he had to be taken care of by a nurse. Akira was so sad, because he knew, Dimas was a very independent person. Everything about her body had never been touched by anyone else except Akira. But now Dimas could only lie helpless.

Dimas slept uncomfortably, his head always turning left and right, but his body, his perfect body was stretched stiff.

His rest was interrupted due to the arrival of several nurses. One nurse took a blood sample, and the other helped Dimas breathe using an oxygen hose to monitor his lungs. Two hours later they left Dimas.

Akira looked at Dimas's face whenever anyone touched him. Dimas just fell silent, ignoring Akira who seemed to want to talk to him. Dimas closed his eyes again, and made Akira think,

Is he really sleeping? Or busy with your own thoughts.

******************

In the afternoon, Doctor Jerry walks into Dimas' room. “How do you feel Mr Dimas?”

“How do I know Doc? I feel weak. Shit, I can't move!”

“We still have to do the test, Mr. Dimas.,” response Doctor Jerry calmly.

“Is there nothing to do? Just waiting and looking?"

“Wish the best Mr. Adam. There are plenty of reasons to be more optimistic right now. I'll be back tomorrow morning Mr. Dimas. Try to be patient. We will know the test results in the next few days.”

Dimas curses violently after Doctor Jerry leaves. His eyes were full of anger.

Akira put his hand on Dimas's. “Whatever the reason you should be optimistic Dimas.”

Dimas pulled his hand slowly. “Give me two reasons to be optimistic Kira. Only two reasons to be optimistic.”

“You're still alive”

“For how long? Didn't Doctor Jerry tell you that people died from this syndrome?"

Tears filled Akira's eyes rapidly pouring down his cheeks. “You won't die Dimas." Akira's voice was trembling.

“Very good. I will live like a vegetable. Look at me, Kira. Really, look at me. I can't move. People come and go every two hours. I painstakingly feed myself. And it's gonna get worse. So how's my future? Lying in a fucking hospital all my life, communicating with just a wink? Don't tell me about being optimistic.”

“Then fight Dimas,” Akira replied. “Do not stop trying. You're powerful. You are not a person who gives up easily. Fight.”

“Against what Kira? How can I fight when I don't know what I'm fighting?” dimas' anger subsided, he turned his face away and closed his eyes.

Akira makes sure Dimas sleeps until he finally leaves the ICU room and goes home.

Three years ago, Akira was devastated, injured, and full of anger. He vowed never to ask Dimas for help again. Akira builds his own boutique and builds his own life. Akira becomes more mature, and he likes his current identity.

It was difficult at first. Akira was so devastated in the first months he left Dimas, but now he is so strong.

So long Akira did not want the presence of Dimas in his life back, but now Dimas needs him. Dimas never needed it so much - except on the bed.

'What does Dimas want from me now? And for how long? Maybe Dimas only needs someone when he's sick and alone, and I'm Akira Olivia who's willing to help him.'

Akira is confused as to what he really wants or needs, or what he can give to Dimas.