Loving Paralyzed Men
Blueberry Sauce

Akira was sitting in front of the family room television in his house. He couldn't sleep because he thought about whether Dimas would be okay, and when Dimas would be in the ICU.

Jerry's doctor had already told them that it was likely that Dimas would be in the hospital for a week or even a month. After that Dimas had to go to a physical therapy center until he was finally able to get his bodily functions back.

The future of Dimas depends on the test results from the Doctor.

Akira tried to keep his tears from falling, he closed his eyes. Dimas needed it because Akira was the only one who was possible to accompany Dimas in this situation. No friend of Dimas would want to leave their hometown only to come to this city to accompany the helplessly lying Dimas. Neither is Sofia her sister, Sofia will not help.

But Dimas and Akira are no longer a couple. Yeah, it used to be. They live together, live together, but they never share a life with each other. They never have a single goal, always contradictory.

Dimas wants Akira in socialite style to match his popularity in business, he wants Akira to participate in luxury parties between fellow businessmen. In essence Dimas wanted to show off Akira as a beautiful and sexy woman in front of his business colleagues.

That is what Akira does not like and is not his identity. Akira wants to be himself. He cannot live in the socialite environment that is the world of Dimas, but Akira also cannot make Dimas understand that.

If only they had not married too soon after meeting, if only Akira had grown older by the age of twenty-two, better understand what he wanted in life, if they knew each other better, there would be no marriage between the two.

For the first time, Akira thought. Dimas needed her, and she volunteered to come help. What does he really need from Dimas? There aren't. No more.

Dimas has changed. He very openly thanked Akira.

Akira tries to imagine how Dimas looked in the past while still with him. But all Akira could imagine was that Dimas was lying helplessly on a hospital bed.

Akira took a long breath. Back to remembering their marriage. Their marriage had actually ended since Akira decided to leave Dimas and go to this city now. Akira lives the life he wants, but still in the depths of his heart he wants a man who can understand him. Akira even thought that the man was definitely not Dimas.

But if Dimas had completely forgotten about it, why was he now accompanying Dimas instead? How much time, or himself should he take to accompany Dimas? These questions keep Akira from haunting Akira. But he has absolutely no answer. Akira could only look at the situation and wait.

Akira then turned off the lights, and looked towards the darkness. Hope tomorrow there will be a glimmer of light for Dimas condition.

***********************

But tomorrow and the days that follow are not good. Akira will come early in the morning until midnight because of Dimas's weakened condition. His arm and shoulder muscles looked smaller, his skin became paler.

Akira doesn't look good either. All day, from day and night he had to accompany Dimas. Even late at night Akira is still messed with his work affairs that still have not found a way out.

The ICU's closed room makes the change from day to night so unknown. Dimas can no longer distinguish time. Akira was not surprised if Dimas asked, "What time is it now? Shit, what day is it today?"

Akira stared at the clock on the wall, above Dimas' head.

"Now ten o'clock in the morning, and today is Tuesday. Today's the seventh day you're here." Akira replied. "How are you feeling today?" ask Akira.

"It's bad. Every time I think it's gonna get worse."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"No. I have no energy to talk. I just want to sleep. I'm sorry I ruined your day."

"Do you need Mr Dimas' help?" ask the young lady.

"No." replied Dimas.

Akira looked at Dimas as he tried to grab the spoon by trying to move his hand, but his hand was uncooperative. Dimas' jaw hardened, he tried harder, but still couldn't. Akira's heart became wounded.

"The..." Dimas was about to curse, but stopped when he looked at Akira. "I'm not hungry." he continued, staring at Akira.

Akira tried to smile and sat down on Dimas' bed.

"No one will be hungry when they see food from the hospital. But for a while you had to eat hospital food to keep your beautiful body and weak soul together."

"Beautiful word choice." - Dimas.

Akira carefully holds the spoon and takes the porridge, trying to feed Dimas.

Dimas did not open his mouth. His jaw was getting closed. Making Akira show a smile as sweet as possible to make Dimas melt to want to eat.

"Oh big man, open your mouth" said Akira.

Dimas's eyes looked at Akira's eyes, slowly Dimas finally opened his mouth, received the food, chewed it without looking tasteful, and swallowed it. Akira again scooped full of porridge because he felt he had succeeded in making Dimas want to eat. Akira again tries to feed Dimas while distracting him.

"Did you remember when I gave you the blueberry sauce?"

Dimas chokes, and Akira quickly gives him water to drink by directing the straw towards Dimas' lips.

"No man will ever forget that."

Akira smiled in light of the incident as they were staying overnight at a hotel and having a romantic dinner together in the room.

Akira gives a spoonful of blueberry sauce to Dimas. Dimas who looks very fond of it makes Akira want to do naughty things.

Akira took the blueberry sauce with his finger and smeared the sauce to his lips. Akira deliberately teases Dimas to clean the blueberry sauce he has lipped.

Like eating ice cream, Dimas licked the blueberry sauce on Akira's lips mischievously.

Akira smiled at Dimas's behavior.

"It's really sweet" said Dimas.

Seriate.....