MARRIED FOR INDIGENOUS DEBT
Negotiating

Once at home, Mamak immediately brought me in and locked the door of the house, disgrace to the wife's family if her married daughter comes to the house without being accompanied by her husband.

You see Me so angry, but Mama just silent silent with all her sadness because her daughter went home without being accompanied by her husband.

"why are you coming home? where's your husband?" ask the Father with an angry look on his face.

"Tiur wants a divorce, from the beginning also Tiur ngak want to marry the Andri that.he's a spoiled child, under the armpits of his mother."

"now you go in the room, never come out before your husband and his family come here." Father ordered.

Go into my room and come back these tears spilled on my cheeks, right now this is all I can do.

It is not my will to marry bang Andri, not the slightest bit of love for him, but in fact I have to marry him because of the coercion of the Father and his family.

"Tiur, this mamak bring food. eat yes Nang (the term for mama to her daughter *Toba Batak tradition)."

"if Mama had not lied that Mamak was sick, Tiur would never have married the man under his mother's armpit.he was a useless man Mak."

I said to Mamak, but Mamak just fell silent while putting the plate containing the food.

"Mak, why can't Tiur determine my own soul mate? don't you know that Andri's a spoiled kid?"

Mama's gone away, though she saw tears in her cauldron from her cheeks, but this was originally I was entangled at home with this painful marriage.

Because I was hungry, the food that my mother brought me ate immediately and after that I passed to the bathroom to take a bath.

Finished Bathing and dressed, I saw Bones Pak Saor's younger brother Mamak. already in the living room with Mr and Mamak.

"bere (call to nephew in Toba Batak tradition) sitting here, bones want to hear what is your problem?" said bone mr. Saor.

I sat near the mamak facing the bone of Saor (Bone means Uncle, brother of Mamak, tradition of Toba Batak) and his gaze was so shady compared to my father's gaze with a gaze full of anger.

"bang Andri with a salary per three months of about 10 million more, and will be given to his mother and we will be in rations later.

Tiur had to be a maid in that house, working in his coffee garden and raising his cattle. to pay Sinamot (Mahar) received by father and Mamak and our wedding expenses and also our living expenses.

We will be rationed and must be prepared no matter how much my In-laws will give us."

Hearing the words from Me, Bones Pak Saor let out a long sigh while the Father still looked angry.

"this is what bones fear, bones know, if your husband is an unreliable man, but your father insists on marrying you to him.

Just look bere, you are immediately independent.don't stay at your in-law's house.Bone house is still empty and the bone cattle have been separated Asi from the mother, the mother, the calf will give as your stock and the bone will be willing to lend capital for the cost of living before its cattle can harvest."

"Bone, that's what I talked about with bang Andri. Tiur also still has a handle in the form of bracelets and necklaces, if sold still can for the cost of living 3 months ahead, but bang Andri does not want to separate from his Mama."

Again the bones of Mr. Saor sighed a long breath, and Bones turned to the father for not getting a response finally turned to mamak.

"ito (call of brother to his sister, and vice versa), we call the king of Huta (Pemilku adat/head of custom) however Tiur is your daughter." said Mr. Saor bone.

"his money from Mr Saor?" he asked with anger.

*talangin in Medan dialogue, which means prioritizing payment or giving money first for the purposes.

You look upset with the obedience of Bones Mr. Saor and Mr. Saor went straight from the house, while Mamak led Me into the room.**

In the afternoon, Mr. Saor's bones with his wife had arrived home with food in the form of arsik carp.

Not how long the king of Huta (Peku adat) along with his entourage of approximately 10 men accompanied by his wives.

Not long ago, my husband with both parents and 6 people in the group had arrived at this house. finished eating dinner customary events at the start of more precisely negotiations.

"well, gentlemen, as our mediator here with the entourage of each clan. Here I want to hear the root of the problem that began from the Wife, I want to hear the root cause, please Host (a common call for married women among the Batak community)" said the Head of Custom who is usually called Oppung Doli Tyas (because his first grandson named Tyas)

In the Batak tradition the first child or first grandchild would be a nickname.

'oppung Doli means Grandpa and his partner oppung Boru which means Grandma.

"begini oppung Doli, I was told my mother-in-law to be a maid and a worker without wages at home.to pay Sinamot (Mahar), the cost of the wedding, and the cost of living later. my husband's salary every third of the month will be deposited with his mother and we will be rationed by her.

I have invited Husband to live independently but My Husband does not want to part with his Mama Because the husband is a boy in the house.

I don't want to live a family under my mother-in-law's restraint, and I don't want a private life taken care of by my mother-in-law."

From the corner of my mother-in-law's eyes, my mother-in-law held back the emotion of hearing my words, but I tried to be patient with her attitude.

"what do you want?" ask my mother-in-law in the midst of this silence.

"i want to live independently with bang Andri, and the salary bang Andri should I hold as a wife."

"grandfather, I'm the son of father and Mamak. I can not leave father and Mamak at home, anyways my salary is only paid per three months."

Refutation from bang Andri who saw his mother after saying his words.

"bang, that morning I told you. I have savings and that's enough until we can sell the grain and cattle.

Now bang Andri must be firm, choose your mama or I This wife of yours.and remember your mama is not forever with You, only yesterday the pastor who married us said, men will leave their parents as well as the bride and then unite to build a household.and you are a man bang, you should have come out of your Mama's armpits."

"you're rude, where's the manners!" said my in-laws who stood up while pointing at me.

"inang calm, please calm down." the adat chief ordered firmly.

My mother-in-law finally sat back down after being forced to sit by my father-in-law, but her face still held a deep expression of anger.

"if you choose your mom, what do you do?" ask bang Andri suddenly.

Attention was on him, and the customary chief was visibly upset by the words of my Husband.wanted to slap my Husband in front of His Mother.

Tradition Batak Toba, if the wife returns to her parents' house because of domestic disputes.if the Husband wants to pick up his wife must be with Adat.