Not Nackal, Nurul!
Still Checked Until the Destination (revised)

“Pak, faster road, Sir!” tommy said to the driver.

The car's going a lot faster, Tommy wants them to get there fast.  Nurul looked at Tommy.  “What do you do?” ask Nurul.  Tommy did not answer.  An unsettling silence seemed to surround Tommy, tense and frightening.

“You will definitely still talk to Mr. Sudarsono.  Even though I've asked you not to.  Even if you promise not to do it if I give myself up to you,” Nurul said.

Nurul's words made Tommy flinch.  “I shouldn't promise you that.  There are no good results from that promise,” said Tommy.  “So you will renege on your promise?” ask Nurul.

“Did you not understand too?  I have to deny it.  It's for your own good.  Nothing you say can change my mind about this situation.  I will leave you at your father's house and I will return to Jakarta,” Tommy said.  Tommy looked outside.

“But I'll be back.  Whatever you think of me, Nurul, I won't ignore you.  You don't need to tie me to some dubious emotion to do the right thing.  We will get married, whatever Sudarsono says or does or. “ Tommy said.

“If you meet Sudarsono and talk about me, there will be no marriage!” nurul.  “What do you mean?” ask Tommy.

At first Nurul thought that Sudarsono's efforts to destroy him and his family would be completed if there was a marriage.  But, now something else appeared in his mind.  Tommy wants everything the way he wants it. He has promised, but has denied all promises if deemed necessary.

All control must be held by him, for if he gives that control to others, then he reveals his weakness.  Nurul can't marry a man like that, no matter what.

“I mean, I'll marry you.  I don't blame you for warning your friends, it should be.  But, the only reason you went to see Mr. Sudarsono is to ‘help me’, or at least that's what you said.  What gives you the right to decide what's best for me when you don't know the whole story?” nurul.

“You refuse to trust my judgment.  You refuse to honor your promises.  Well, if you can't do something that simple, then I also don't see the reason why we can get married!” nurul.

Tommy showed an indifferent attitude.  “Your father will ask you to marry me after he finds out.. “ Tommy said.  “That you have taken away my virginity?  No, he won't ask you to marry me.  Not all men are like you, Tommy.  Some of them really care about what their women want or need,” Nurul said.

“But I care!  If I don't care, I won't offer marriage!” said Tommy.  “Yes, but you haven't cared enough to honor my expectations or keep your promises.  So, I don't want to marry you,” Nurul said.

“You want me to choose?  Between talking to Sudarsono or marrying you?” said Tommy.  Nurul.  Tommy's voice became increasingly bitter.  “I thought you loved me,” said Tommy. “I do love you.  I love you so much that I want a real marriage for us.  Not a marriage with you who like to run everything and I only act as a wife who is just fun,” Nurul said.

“So you love me only as long as I do what you want?” ask Tommy.  “Not.  I love you no matter what you do.  But I don't want to marry you if you don't heed my expectations, too,” Nurul said.

*

Tommy and Nurul finally arrive at the crossroads into his residence.  Tommy's car just stopped there, nothing more.  That was to avoid people in the boarding school, including Nurul's father, knowing about the return of Nurul with Tommy, the foreign man.

“Tahu ga, Tom.. You've lived your whole life to avoid love.  You said that your father ruined his life for loving your mother who was not worthy of his love,” Nurul said.

Nurul breathed heavily.  “But you misunderstood him, Tom.  Your parents' marriage wasn't a disaster because your father loved your mother so much.  The marriage was a disaster because your mother didn't love your father.  It is not love that destroys but a lack of love that destroys their marriage,” Nurul said.

Tommy looks like he just got slapped by Nurul.  “You don't know anything about it!” said Tommy.  “Oh, yes, I understand. I can tell someone a man thirsting for love when I see that man.  But love requires trust and sadness to give as much as it has received,” Nurul said.

Nurul grabbed the car door handle.  “It's a shame that it's beyond your understanding,” Nurul said.  After opening the car door, Nurul got out of the car.  “Nurul... wait!” tommy protests as he also gets out of the car.  But Nurul turned around so that he blocked Tommy's path before he could take more than two steps.

“What do you want?  Want to go in there and tell my dad that you've agreed with me, that I've been involved in all this cunning?  Then quickly go to Jakarta and ruin my life while I get a lecture from my father?” prevent Nurul's.

“Nurul... “ Tommy speech prevented.  “Tom! Go back to Jakarta.  Tell your friends there about Mr. Sudarsono's plan.  I don't want to be the cause of their damage.  But remember, if you talk to Mr. Sudarsono, that's the end of everything between us,” Nurul said.

Tommy looked at Nurul.  Tommy's face paled, but Nurul simply folded his arms around his chest and continued to block Tommy.  “OK... Okay... “ Finally Tommy said coldly.  “If that's what you want,” he continued.  Turning his heels, Tommy climbs back into the car and orders his driver to leave.

Nurul held his breath until Tommy's car vanished from sight.  In his mind, he planned to tell his father everything, even though it would hurt his father deeply.  He was Nurul's only hope.  If Nurul could impress her father about how serious the situation was, her father would definitely be willing to help her settle this in the presence of Mr. Sudarsono.

Nurul walked towards the road to the pesantren.  He did not bring anything, like he did not just come home from Jakarta, like he had just returned from the market.

“Eh, Nurul is home?” greet a father who rides a bicycle loaded with merchandise.  Nurul who was walking daydreaming looking at the street in front of him was jolted.  He threw a friendly, surprised smile.  “Iya, Sir.  Father how are you?” reply Nurul.

The old man got off his bike and led him, walking in Nurul's footsteps.  “Ustadz Arif would be so glad you're home.  But by the way where is your luggage?” ask the old man.

“Emh... That's Sir... Anu... “ Nurul said.  “Eh, Nak Nurul!” greet a woman passing by.  Fortunately, this time Nurul did not need to answer the old man's question.  Nurul's complicated mind was not yet ready to answer the questions of others that came suddenly.  “Yes, Bibbhik!” nurul Sahut.  The woman also invited Nurul to talk so that Nurul could leave the man politely.