pancason
Part 13 The Past

"The woman is my lover" he said slowly, lovingly and painfully at the same time.

My eyes are round, my forehead is wrinkled, my heart seems to stop suddenly, and it hurts when Wira calls "my love".

Of jealousy? Certainly.

Even though I knew that woman must have died long ago. But I don't feel like sharing my love with him.

Maybe I was too selfish. But I really can't take it. Knowing there was another woman Wira loved, and it still seems she loved.

"Your lover? A boyfriend?" A stupid question came out of my mouth.

Come on, Nay, there was no term girlfriend in the past. Boyfriend, yes boyfriend!

"Yes, you could say that, Nay.

Name Sekar. She is the daughter of Pasangguhan Pranajaya. Pasangguhan Pranajaya is a high-ranking government official like a palace hulubalang. Because of the intensity we often met, I finally fell in love with Sekar, Sekar was also the same. We love each other, and we plan to get married.

But when our kingdom was attacked, Sekar was kidnapped, and I couldn't save him. I was late, he died when I arrived. Right in front of my own eyes," Wira brightened with teary eyes. He looks very sad. Hit and injured.

"His face looks like mine?" I asked while looking at the sketch.

It is really with me, maybe if I wear old royal clothes for sure I will look like Sekar.

"Eum, yes, Nay. I was also surprised when we first met in the cafeteria. You look a lot like him" he said.

"You still love Sekar?" I started to wonder.

It feels like my heart is being sliced open.

"He's part of my past, Nay."

"That's not the answer to my question, Ra! You still love Sekar? Answer!" My Sergei was serious about emphasizing every word of my wrath.

He looked riled up, perhaps confusedly answering. The hero took a deep breath and was silent for a moment.

"Yes I still love Sekar. It took me a hundred years to forget her." The face of the Hero began to seriously look at me. He seems to know my mind is in a state of turmoil. I was sad and hurt to hear his words.

"But now I just love you, Nay. I love you so much." The hero grabbed my hand while dipping it softly. But I pulled my hand violently. Refuse to warm treatment. Maybe if it's another problem I can soften, but this is different. I looked at her eyes that looked at me expectantly. My eyes blur. Puddles of tears I can't hold anymore.

"No! You lied! You never loved me. You just love Sekar. It just so happens that our faces are the same. So you seem to find more sekar in me. Yeah, right?!" my heart is getting uncontrollable. I'm backing away from Wira. "Yes, right, sir?" I asked to repeat it again in a slow tone. My disappointment blinded everything.

"But, Nay. It's not what you think it is. I'm..."

"Enough! I know it now. Yes, you love me because I look like him ! Not because I'm Nayla. I didn't think you could do that, Ra! Ye know? If I really love you? I even tried to accept this very unnatural state of you. No problem, you live 100 years ahead of me, it doesn't matter you have pancason science, which is honestly very terrible for me. I don't mind all that because I love you! But if for this one... I'm sorry I can't take it." I immediately grabbed the sweater and the bag I put on the bed. Seeing that I was about to leave, Wira held my hand. But kutepis rough.

"Nay... Nay's... Where are you going? Don't gini dong, Nay. I really love you, Nay. Pleases... Don't go, Nay," persuaded him to keep following me.

The hero stood up to me. "Nay... Don't gini dong, Nay... Don't be rich little boy! We can finish well" he said.

"Little boy? Well, here I am! Like a child. You don't think I hurt, Ra?! This is over, though! We better break up!" I threw the hand of the Hero. Walk out of his house. While the hero continues to chase me. Arriving at the terrace, he pulled my hand back.

"I beg you, Nay. Not gini. Where are you going? Let me take you, yeah ..." he asked. He even prostrated himself, begging me not to leave.

Arya who was there only saw us astonished. Expressionless.

"No need, Hero! I can be alone, and my decision is unanimous. Thanks for all your attention all this time." I left her still in the same position. Staring at me with a stiff body where he prostrated.

I wipe away the tears that keep falling.

I kept walking somewhere. Wira's house is far from the city, and it seems that there are rarely taxis passing by.

Under these circumstances, I want to be alone. So it doesn't matter if I walk up to the boarding.

Tin!

A car stopped next to me. I automatically turned to the car, it turned out to be God!

"Nay? Why?" Ask after he lowers the car glass.

"Road. You don't see?!" Ketus. While continuing to walk without regard to it.

"Yes, just together, yuk. From here far away to the city." His advice.

Right too.

"Nothing right?" I asked who finally fell. My logic began to run against my own selfish nature. The distance from Wira area to the city is very far if you have to walk.

"Udah. Just relax. Login." God opened the door of the car beside the steering wheel and invited me to enter.

"Where are you from, Nay?" ask the gods.

"Oh yes, I forgot. This is Wira's home. But what, you went home alone? Tumbens. You fought with Wira?"

"Yes. Uda, yeah. Don't discuss him. I'm males!" Keep looking at the window.

"OKAY. No problem."

The gods are focusing on driving. For a few minutes we were silent. The gods don't seem to want to talk to me anymore.

"Eh, where are you from?" I asked who started the conversation. My emotions subsided as time went on.

"I have business there" he said with suspicious gestures.

"What business?"

"It's none of your business." The god responded with an uncomfortable tone. Maybe it was his privacy. Yes already. There was no more conversation between us.

We were at my room.

"Yes, thank you, Wa" I said as I opened the car door beside me.

"okay." The god then runs back his car. Get away from my boarding house.

Before going into the room, I took a deep breath. The feeling of tightness due to the incident is still felt until now. I was also tired from crying.

But I'm sure my decision was right. How could Wira love me just because I look like Sekar?

Try if my face is not gini. Does he still want to be with me?

Why does my love always end tragically?

My first love, leaving me. And now I've been killed by my girlfriend, and now I'm being killed by the hero. He kills my feelings, he kills my beliefs, he kills my love.

This love really killed me!!

I walked gontai entering the boarding house. From the tail end of my eyes, I was able to catch the whereabouts of the Hero at the end of the road. It seems like he's been following me all along. I've already memorized his figure. The way he stood. The way he sits. It was already in my memory.

But I didn't respond to it, I didn't even consider seeing it.

When I got to my room, I locked the room. Walk into the kitchen, light the stove to boil water. Looks like the hot tea I need right now.

After the tea had browned, with the hot steam billowing from the cup, I walked to the balcony of the room. Trying to get some fresh air. The balcony is one of the places I unwind. When caught off guard with campus routines and all campus tasks that accumulate. Hopefully this time I can make my mood better.

In the same place, I saw Wira sitting on her bike. He kept watching me from where he stood. Tired of it, I went back into the room. Closing the balcony door and pulling the curtains.

When I saw the clock I was surprised. "God! I have a college! Begos!"

I put my sweater back on and grabbed my bag. With hurried steps I continued walking out of the boarding house. The girl who saw me then got off her motorbike and approached me who was standing on the sidewalk, waiting for a motorcycle taxi or other transportation.

"Nay, I'm anther, yes, to college. You will be late" he said softly. He kept persuading me and I kept rejecting him.

"Nghak! I'm riding an ojek!" I said cynically.

I waved to the ojek base that was near the cost. It just so happened that Mang Asep just arrived at the base and immediately saw me calling him. Mang Asep was my subscription taxi driver before Wira came into my life.

"Oject, Neng?" ask Mang Asep.

"Yes, Mang. To the college. Spots." Without caring about Wira I immediately climbed into the back seat of Mang Asep's old motorcycle. While Mang Asep looks shy and looks at me and Wira alternately.

It took ten minutes to get to campus.

"More of the fight, huh, Neng ?" ask Mang Asep

"Not fighting anymore, Mang. Break up!!"

"Law. How could it, anyway? Though mah Neng same Si Aa looks very suitable. Si Aa also looked very sorry at all Neng. Kasian oruh, Neng. All relationships must have problems, just how we react to them. Sometimes problems actually make the relationship more durable. Continue usually, the more often fight, later if it is better it will be more sticky. Try to think about Neng again. Finish with a cold head. Don't be emotional." The advice of Mang Asep was able to make my heart tickle. There is a truth to all the words of Mang Asep. It's just... Ah already! I'm still upset with Wira.

"Yes, mang. Thanks for the advice."

***

We arrived at the campus. After paying the fare, I ran to my class. Five minutes of class begins. Wake it late again. I could be blacklisted.

Until class, all the friends were already inside and were astonished to see me.

"Tumben late? Not the same as Wira?" reva asked while looking out the door. Because the motor parking lot is visible from our class.

"No. Uh, Va... I printed your book yesterday, yes" I asked.