pancason
Part 17 Peak emotions
The row of Tabebuya trees became a sight that I could not enjoy as usual. I lay my head against the side window. Netraku only fixated on the rows of trees with bright yellow flowers. In some streets of my city, there are many planted this tree. In addition to making the streets shady as well as when the flowers bloom, it will feel like in Japan. Japan has sakura, while Indonesia has tabebuya.
The car is traveling at medium speed. Now I am with two men who are good friends of Kak Rayi at once already familiar with me. They'll take me home. Although at first I refused, but then Kak Bintang pulled my hand to get into the car. Kak Bintang's attitude is somewhat other, he is very possessive and cold. I know that he also felt the pain I feel now. The difference is he looks calmer, maybe that's how to vent his emotions. Different me.
The car started to enter the yard. In the garage there is a car parked there. That means Papa's home now.
"That's okay, isn't it, Bil? Or do we go in? Maybe you need some free entertainment? I'm ready to be a clown" Roger said, looking back. I just pulled one corner of my lips and shook my head. "I'm doing fine. Thanks, yes, brother."
I opened the car door, and I went down. The two of them immediately left my yard. Still quiet, glued to where I stood. I don't feel excited to do anything. Just breathing it feels tight.
My door is wide open. I entered casually, until I reached the dining room, Papa was sitting while enjoying coffee and cake. The newspaper in his hand was then closed upon seeing my arrival.
"A really good afternoon, Bill? Any school activities?" ask Papa. I walked past Papa to the freezer. Take a bottle of fruit juice that Auntie always makes every morning.
"Yes, Pa. Papa tumben at home," I said in a limp tone. Then sit in a chair near Papa. Without looking back or looking at the man near me, I immediately gulped the juice from the bottle.
"When? Are you okay?" asked Papa to bring his face closer to me.
"Fine father, Dad."
"That's why your face?" ask Papa while pointing at my face. I felt the part that Papa pointed at and just realized that this wound was still there. Surprisingly why don't I feel the pain?
"Damate, Pa. Your son is, a hero," I said proudly. Papa smiled thinly. "Papa's ready to listen to anything, if you need a storymate."
I smiled hearing it. It felt like what Papa said just now was very sincere, and I rarely heard it, even the first time I heard that sentence spewed out of Papa's mouth. At least I can smile sincerely now.
"I'll go to the room first, Pa. Tired."
"OKAY. Rest, baby."
__________
The shower made my body feel more comfortable. My tiredness feels like it's flowing with this warm water. But when I closed my eyes, the shadow of all events seemed to be replayed automatically by the brain. This made my heart hurt again, until I was touched, again.
My wet hair, I'm still wrapped in a towel. I've changed into sleeping pajamas with a picture of hello kitty. Sitting on the balcony of the room accompanied by a cup of my own warm chocolate. My ears were stuffed with headsets, to the point that there was no other sound I heard other than the music I was playing right now.
But the light beam of a car that had just entered the courtyard of the house, quite caught my attention. Brother Rayi came, and was welcomed by Papa downstairs. After a few words of greeting, they looked up at my room. Of course my existence was immediately known to them. Papa waved his hand, telling me to come down immediately. Sis Rayi smiled down there holding a bouquet of my favorite black roses.
I had to go downstairs. It's impossible to avoid anymore. Anyway, I want to meet Rayi's sister. I want to hear his explanation of the matter earlier.
"You haven't slept, have you? Eum, this is for you" he said, holding out the flower.
I grabbed him with a cold expression. "You what?" ketus. Seeing my attitude, Brother Rayi's smile faded. He looked down, playing his feet. Then look at me again.
"Bil, I ... I'd like to apologize."
"Sorry for?"
"For all. I'm sorry. I'm here too ... Mau ...."
"You what?"
"It's better to break it for a while, Bil."
The deg! Heart's beating. Not believing the words spoken from the mouth of Brother Rayi.
"You mean? Breaking up?!"
"No, Bil. Not broken. So gini, I just found out that Sabrina's sick. He has cancer, and he needs my help. I'm just scared, interrupting our time. I want to focus on helping Sabrina first, pity. Her parents are far away. He begs me, and I'm not good at it. Please, get me, yeah, baby." Rayi came closer and tried to grab my hand. I immediately brushed it off rudely.
"No need to apologize. Okay, if you want Rayi's sister to do that. We ... break up!" I said flat.
"Loh, Bill. No such thing. Pleases. I still love you, Bil. Don't gini dong, baby." She grabbed her own hair, and looked very frustrated.
"I understand. He's much more important. Sabrina's recovery is far more important. I ... I'm doing fine. So you don't have to worry about me."
"It's not so dear." Many times he kept trying to make physical contact with me, but I always avoided it.
"Truths like that. The proof, Sabrina complained a little, you immediately care about her. You stay with me, without knowing how I feel at that time. You don't know how much my heart hurts when you see you kissing. You don't know how disappointed I am when he sits in your motorcycle seat. You didn't get to me when there was that woman! So it's all clear, she ...," I said, pointing in another direction, "much more important than me! Your own girlfriend. So why are we dating? We broke up soon! You can focus on her, I don't need to hurt anymore!" I said firmly.
"But, dear ...."
"Stop! Don't call me baby again! I'm sick of it!" I looked up and looked at Brother Rayi's face from a short distance away.
"wait. What's your face? How to bruise gini? What's wrong with you, Bil?" tanyanya. Trying to touch my cheek. Again, I shook his hand before it came to my face.
"That's not important. More importantly your Sabrina!" I said then I went inside the house. Brother Rayi's call I didn't heed. I was still standing behind the door sobbing.