RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 12

The saying goes that if you want to start a new relationship again, you should give a pause to treat all the pain.

However, when I was just about to start a relationship again, I didn't think the gap I had spent ten years on wasn't enough to remove my injuries.

I sneered at myself. It turned out that ten years didn't really make me heal from all the wounds.

It might be wrong, if I use Mas Haris' sincere love to help me heal my heart's wounds. If in fact I did not rise from the snare of my past. I was still wallowing in the mud of nestapa which would soon drown me.

It's not Mas Haris' fault that my wounds are still bleeding. It's not our love that's weak, it's just that I'm the one who's still enduring caring for the wound. I'm used to loving my nest without opening up to learn to accept new love.

In a daze, I headed to the kitchen. My head feels dizzy. Maybe it's because nothing went into my stomach.

I decided to make a bitter hot coffee that became my best friend for the past ten years.

I sipped my bitterly made hot coffee in lethargy. Bittersweet.as bitter as my life. That's why I like that taste now. A bitter black opium for a bitter life. What a perfect blend.

"May I hold you, Asthma? "

I recalled Syafrie's silly request this afternoon. Bah.. mana I was hugged by him. Even in my dreams I would not allow him to do so.

Syafrie has really gone too far. He dared to play with my feelings. The man deserves to be hated or perhaps deserves to be scorned.

" When did you like coffee? " I almost fell back hearing his voice. Oh, my gosh, this guy is looking to die. This is the second time he has surprised me.

Standing right in the middle of the door, in both of his hands were each topping a large black swipe bag, filled with groceries. Her net was staring at the glass in my hand that contained hot coffee.

Well, I'm sick of his behavior that always tries to provoke my anger. So let's fight your mouth, Syafrie.

" I love what I used to hate and hate what I used to like, including you." I went back to sipping bitter coffee in the glass. " Want to try it? " i offer it right in front of his face.

" W.no. You're not fit to drink this bitter coffee because your life is always sweet." I sneered at him.

He walked past me, put a bag of grocery crackles on the table and then sat down next to me.

" Living in the city seems to have taught your sweet lips to let out bitter words. I want to shut your lips with my kiss. Long time no kiss from me makes your lips lose their sweet words."

PLAKK!!! My five fingers have landed smoothly on his cheeks. Somehow this could happen. But for sure I was really no longer able to control my patience.

My reddened face restrained the intense turbulent emotions in my chest.

" How dare you! " my eyes glared at his face.

He rubbed his cheek that I had slapped with a smile.

" I thought your hatred for me had reached the sky. But apparently I was wrong. Compared to anger, your slap felt more like an outpouring of pent-up longing." she said with a very sweet smile. His right hand stroked the tip of my head while his left hand was draped over my shoulder.

I violently brushed off the man's arm. " let go. What do you want, Syafrie!" snapped rough. I stood up, pulling both my gamis arms up preparing to give the man a lesson.

" You...! " Syafrie took her hand off my head. His eyes are illegible.

" You are a man who has no pride and no shame. Ten years ago, I once said, if God still brings us together, remind me to forgive you because in this life I can't." I screamed with emotion.

" I always beg God not to be reunited with you, you know why, Syafrie.? Because of ke.hi.du.pan i.ni. Well in this life, damn it I'm alive and I can't forgive you ."

" I fought to death to heal and forget you. At the end of ten years of my departure, don't think I've been cured. No. gabe. Lukaku is the same. Every night I have the same dream, the dream of your betrayal. I've even been trying to see a psychologist to heal that trauma. But I am still injured. And you know Syafrie who caused the injury, you. you are Syafrie!! "I'm really flabbergasted. My emotions overflowed. Syafrie was speechless.

I sat back down to calm down. My emotions were about to recede, until the man opened his mouth.

" I love you, Asthma. I love you so much. I will always love you! " Well, you started Syafrie. I accept your challenge.

" What kind of love are you talking about, Syafrie? I smiled cynically at him. "To anyone you've said it. What about that woman too? Then do you think you can say all the love to every woman you want?" Syafrie shook his head weakly. Head bowed.

" Is your wife's new love not enough to satisfy you. Or perhaps your wife is not quite capable of carrying out her obligations to be your wild appetite-satisfying machine. If so, then no wonder you're this low." Oh, my God, that's the hardest word out of an Asthma's mouth.

" Ashma, don't blame me, you're the one who's been fishing for me.. " The next second was the soft, wet thing I felt touching my lips. So deep and full of longing.

I was unprepared, unable to escape from the grip of his hand on my neck and the circumference of his hand that clasped my body possessively.

I was so angry that I could no longer move, shaking my body from feeling humiliated and humiliated at the same time. My hatred for Syafrie is growing.

The clear liquid from my eyes made Syafrie stop her actions on me. I was crying because of the anger I couldn't say.

Not only did she hug me, she also stole my kiss. The knuckles - my fingers are already whitened behind my robe because of the tightness of my fist.

Syafrie pecked at my head. I just kept quiet. Not to enjoy but because my body was suffocated by the feeling of tightness and anger that was bubbling up in my chest. How dare he do that to me.

" Don't cry, Asthma. Forgive me. I know what I did was wrong. But you need to know that I never divorced you. You're still my wife. We are still legal as husband and wife in the eyes of religious law and state law. So there's no need to feel guilty." Syafrie fingers - fingers moved gently rubbing the tears that flowed profusely on my cheeks. My isak is getting worse

" Keep your filthy hands away from me! I'm disgusted at you. Didn't I tell you that when you got married then it fell on me, you bastard! "

" Athaghfirullah, Asthma! Istighfar.it is not good that you curse your own husband."

" stop! stop talking! I'm sick of seeing you. You are greedy and cunning. You took advantage of my inattention and weakness." I said angrily while pushing his body.

" Astma, calm yourself! " Syafrie tried to reach my hand, but I brushed it off.

" Enough !! Stop, Syafrie....! " my cry is hysterical. " What should I tell your wife and son.! " i'm back to crying. " You're making me sicker..! " My body trembled until I fell and sat on the floor.

" I hate you, Syafrie. I hate your wife for taking my happiness, I hate your son for taking my son's place. I hate all of you..!" My chest tightened with anger.

" Generic...!" Syafrie muttered softly as she moved closer to me.

" No. no! go Syafrie..! I can no longer express how much it hurts my heart because of your betrayal. I can't forgive you. Do not appear before me any more. Please, at least until I see my family. After that, I will return to my other life. And you can carry on with your life as it was before I came back.!"

I said it weakly and almost inaudibly. No more tears there. I'm tired of crying. I was just devastated with the slow body wailing with a tight chest to numb the feeling of the whole body.

" Aren't your grudges enough to burn us both, Asthma? Let alone away, swallow millions of coals even I can, Asthma. But I doubt if you will be able to survive without me after you know who the boy I am with is." Syafrie came back to me, lifted up and hugged me in her arms. Gently rubbing my head wrapped in a milk-brown hijab.

I'm abusing my rung. Don't want to hear his words anymore. My head ached so much that I could no longer think clearly digesting every word - the words that came out of the man's vision.

My body is still in that position. Supported by the sturdy circumference of both hands Syafrie for a long time. Until I felt something wet on my shirt sleeve.

I looked up to find the origin of the water source. The man was crying. His eyes were red and full of glass grains. " Don't go again please. At least if not for me, stay for Fadil! "

I just wanted to get back out my swearing. "Dad... Fadil... " A little boy was there, standing glued to the center of the door leading to the kitchen. The boy's gaze sharply looked towards me. " That's aunty whose picture is on dad's phone..! " he said plain.

I was silent unable to say. Syafrie. We looked like two people who were cheating.