RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 59

There was pain in my chest. I shook with the pain. That's as easy as she'd forget me. Instead of staring at the photo of Mas Haris, I would rather immerse myself in a pillow and spill it all there. I was again sickened by the slash of love on that man. It turns out that I really mean nothing to Mas Haris. His love for me was fake....

Akh. The pregnant woman is now dying. No. I don't want to perish and die silly. I have to do something.

I stepped open the door and stepped outside on the porch. Looking blankly at the darkness out there. My heart is not good right now. The feeling I feel is hard to define. It feels like my steps are gambled when on foot. So fragile was I when I found out that my hope of becoming Mas Haris' lover was dashed again.

Cold air pierced my body. I close the maroon red knitting cardigan to get closer and wrap my body. Kulrikik Syafrie who walked pacing in the living room. From earlier he had been back and forth in and out of the room while occasionally glancing at me. His mouth seemed to be speaking indistinctly. I don't know what he said. Occasionally his eyes also glanced towards the flat object in his hand.

" Where are you going? " safrie asked me when she saw me step out of the porch. My feet stopped.

" Can't you just leave me alone right now, Syafrie ? I want to be alone. "I said softly. My head feels more and more dizzy. There was a very thin flake in the corner of my eye that, if touched just once, might break apart.

He walked quickly to me. " It's night, Asthma. It's not good for a pregnant woman to come out the other night "she's blocking my wrist. Trying to hold me back from going any further.

" I just want to be alone right now. Please.let me alone." I said softly with a trembling voice. Syafrie took her hand out of my hand. There was shock on his face when he heard my voice and also with my attitude that was no longer angry - angry at him.

" Alright, I'm accompanied.. " Good God, I just realized. He's Syafrie, a man famous for his stubbornness.

" But I want it myself, Syafrie. Please, understand. "my protest. Hearing that, Syafrie just kept silent and did not say any more words.

I started down the path that is usually passed by people in this village if you want to go to the rice fields. The path I was going through right now seemed bright because the full moon was smiling happily up there as if it was laughing at me down here who was slumping.

Kususuri the rice field without any feelings of fear or horror. All my fear was gone in the engagement photos of Mas Haris and the woman on her Facebook and Instagram. Slowly but surely, I set my foot down the road. Sometimes, my steps almost slipped because of the slippery road I went through. Understandably, it was raining in the afternoon and this road was used to pass farmers motorcycle taxi back and forth transporting grain that had been harvested.

It is harvest season now. Sawah - the rice fields I passed earlier were mostly harvested. Leaving empty fields in the water.

I'm looking ahead. There is a small bridge made only of tree trees that are placed on a small river. The river was not flowing too hard. Through the shining moonlight, I could see the reflection of the ground beneath.

I crossed the bridge without fear. Maybe because of the dew of the night then when passing the bridge I slipped and lost balance. My body was broken and almost fell into the river. I closed my eyes, resigned if I fell into the river. Perhaps it is better, so that no longer need to feel the pain is very deep in the chest. Die...! Satan laughed because he had succeeded in making one more of his servants lost.

But apparently God did not accept the way I ended myself. A sturdy hand managed to catch my body and hold it until I survived not to fall into the river.

" Be careful..!" a voice warned me. But. it is not the voice of the devil even though the owner also includes the devil who always tempts me to always be angry - angry and sin.

There was anxiety in the tone of the womb owner's voice in my stomach as I said it. Both of his hands held my waist. After confirming my position, the man Saniah said was the most handsome in my village led me to the other side.

I just kept quiet not responding to her words. Actually I want to be mad at him. Why did he help me. I told you, don't interfere in my business, Syafrie. Why the man never wanted to hear.

He could say so. Cueh.. let alone care about the orok in my womb, I just no longer care about my fate. I'm really dying and just want to die right now. I think I'm a cursed mother because I intend to harm myself and my future child.

Syafrie put her jacket on my body. " Wear this ..! The air here is so cold, it's not good for you and our baby."

The man then walked ahead of me. I stared at the back of the man to whom I laid hatred and also my vows. However, right now, I don't know why I'm interested in continuing all that. Even I was no longer interested in correcting the position of the jacket that was attached just like that on my body.

Syafrie stopped stepping and came back when he saw that I was not doing anything. He confirmed the location of the jacket on my body and tidied up my appearance that looked random - a scramble.

" Gosh, Asthma. You look so messy.. "

" Come home, Syafrie. "get rid of me and look at her for a moment and walk past her. I went back on the journey without paying any heed to her.

I looked up and looked at the star-filled sky. The night is getting late. Occasionally the sound of night birds can be heard noisily shouting presents a deafening sound. There was a clear seepage from my eyes that fell involuntarily melting on my cheeks.

Tired... I crouched down to plunge . It hurts so much that I can't bear to not sob. My cry sounded heartbreaking and heartbreaking.

I did the same thing many times. I thought my mother-in-law would stop following me. Actuallyno. He walked in my footsteps behind me like a shadow. If I just walk around without roaring sadly then she walks a bit away in the back. However, if he saw that I was crying bitterly in pain while hitting my numb chest, then he would be standing right near me. So on until we arrived at a cottage on the edge of the rice field.

I sat in the cabin still crying bitterly. Syafrie still faithfully followed me to the hut. He also sat down not far from where I am sitting.

No one spoke or spoke. We kept quiet for a long time. Syafrie just remained silent while bowing his head counting his fingers. I glanced at her sad face and was full of sadness, but I did care, because my running was also immeasurable.

I wiped my tears with both hands until they dried. I reached back into my negligee pocket and pulled out my phone. I went back to checking my social media and reading the status of someone who made me re-inflamed.

Still with the same photo, Mas Haris wrote a status that made me like losing my life.

Love can grow over time. Although it is hard to forget the old love, I hope the new love will grow and bloom no less beautiful.

Haris has completely forgotten me.