RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 40

I packed all my things and took Mas Haris away that day. I can't stand living in this place any longer.

" Come down, at least someone in there gives you medicine. Your face is as pale as cotton. " I opened my eyes when Mas Haris touched my shoulder.

" She, I just need a little break. We'd better hurry up and get to town. Other than that, I don't care. "

" Don't argue, Asthma! "

" I'm not arguing, Mas. Once we get there, I'll be healthy, trust me. "There is no cure for my emptiness at this time. Even if it's the best doctor in the world won't be able to treat me.

I closed my eyes tightly again. But a grip on my shoulder made me reopen my eyes.

" I beg you, just this once, follow me! "

I was stunned to see that face. " Mas Haris, angry? "

" you reckon? "

" I promise I'll tell you everything, but not right now. "

" But I'm not asking you to tell me everything, Asma. I just want you to learn a little patience. "

" I've given up too much, just to wait for Mas to come. "

" The impatient nature made me lose my blessing. " The row of trucks - the palm oil delivery trucks that were behind us, now one by one walking past the Haris car. The noise of the engine combined with the noise of the exhaust sound that drowned the furious screams of my bath.

Mas Haris' eyes were fixed on the slogan printed on one of the palm oil trucks.

" I'm waiting for you, hah what kind of slogan is that. Restu just can't." Mas Haris grumbled.

I chose silence because I understood Mas Haris's disappointed feelings. How not? Upon his arrival from the streets with Fadil, I was waiting for him on the front porch with both of our suitcases and bags.

Then, just like that I dragged her away from the house of mama and all her residents without giving her a chance to ask.

A fadil?

He was the only one who cried over my departure. The boy tightly hugged my waist intending to hold me back. His eyes were pleading with my mother. But i'm.. Asthma, which has been consumed by the darkness of the heart, is completely untouched. My mind just recalled the scene yesterday while on the beach. A happy little family. I used to dream about it. Long before the pregnant woman Fadil hugged was present and ravaged - double everything.

The little version of Syafrie shook her head tightly as I removed the hook of her hand on my waist. He didn't say anything, just his sobs and snot were racing - the race fouled my robe.

I'm her mother, who was pregnant with her for nine months. It's not that I didn't get hurt doing all that, especially when Syafrie's son unceasingly kissed the back of my hand, crying out for me to undo my intentions. Really, my heart is like a thousand daggers. Sick and sore.

However, thick with our blood, it did not dampen my anger and a mountain of hate on, father, grandmother, om and tantenya . With a single jolt, the winding of his hand came off. After rubbing the little man's hair, I then stepped away without looking back.

From the rearview mirror, I could see my son standing up while wiping his tears. My instincts as a mother jolted. But just for a moment. And it wasn't strong enough to break my heartache and my selfishness.

What a pathetic boy. His father was a traitor. I am her mother, a woman without a heart. Perhaps, as an adult, the boy will curse us as to why he gave birth to this world.

Before the vehicle turned, Fajri's twin crouched down while hiding his face in a jar of his hands. His shoulders were going up and down indicating he was hiding a great cry. And it succeeded in making my heart look like it was soaked in vinegar. Bemoan.

If only Kak Mansyah had seen that, he would have said to me as the worst mother in the world, a cruel, heartless and evil mother. But I am helpless. I can't bring him in. All this time he lived and grew up in the hands of Syafrie. I couldn't give him the peace of life he'd gotten all this time from his father.

I'm just a depressed ex-woman. There's nothing great about me, that can make me a little confident about raising her. At least, with Syafrie, Fadil will be able to feel what a family is called. I'm sure Marina must have played a great mother to her.

While with me, Fadil will only find misery.

So let it all come back the way it came from. Like before I was among them.

" Down, Asthma! Don't daydream! "

" Huh, what, Mom? " I was shocked when Mas Haris opened the car door for me. I don't even know when he's out.

" I've registered your name. Why are you still here? I'm sure, Mas Haris is really mad at me.

There was no smile on those lips. In fact, he is basically a friendly and smiling man. This time, however, those two things disappeared from him. Then I can make sure that I made a mistake. I deserve his murk.

I walked following Mas Haris over the wooden bridge that connects between the road and a simple white-painted building that reads 'Santan Ulu' Puskesmas'.

Today is Friday, then the state of puskesmas so a little quiet. Me and Mas Haris were sitting in the waiting room waiting for their turn.

" You, Asthma? " Someone patted my shoulder from behind. Me and Mas Haris turned their heads.

The woman with a plain black robe looked shocked and covered her lips using both hands.

" Subhanallah, you're back! "

The air in the waiting room of this puskesmas feels less and less. That woman that my whole life I never wanted to see. Now stand right in front of me.

For a second, I never dreamed of meeting him after he gave me a bitter incident in my life.

Mother Fadil continued it stood only a meter in front of me. Putting on his awkward smile that looked like a demonic grin in my eyes. There is an ache that attacks the joints of my heart.

What did he say, you came back?

I sneered at Syafrie's cowardice. His pregnant wife asked me about my presence. I really want to laugh out loud - Bahak. Don't expect Father Fadil to say anything about our marriage. Even the matter of my arrival alone, he hid it from this woman.

" What are we, familiar? " I'm back as an amnesiac woman.

He came back surprised. " Oh, Sorry. I'm Marina. We have had relationships in the past. I'm sorry for introducing myself now."

Bah... have a relationship he said?

I must have hit my head against a wall before so I had amnesia to forget about it. As I recall, he was the reason I left Syafrie ten years ago.

" Oh, did you keep Fadil? " I gave a thumbs up on my acting as a really nice amnesiac woman.

This woman in front of me is being misbehaved. My sassy eyes glanced at her distended stomach behind the robe. " His sister, Fadil? "

" who? "

" He's his wife, Mas Syafrie. "I was forced to introduce this woman before me to my man whom I had completely forgotten about being by my side at this time.

" Eh, knowin, Mom. She's Marina." I had to take off my smile. I saw Mas Haris throwing a smile at Marina.

" He's your husband? " There was a bitter tone as he asked.

" Can we talk four eyes? "

" No. "I answered quickly.

" A moment, please.. "

" I'm sorry, we're in a hurry."

" It's about Fadil and Syafrie. I'm begging.. "

" Asthma, go. I'm waiting here! " I don't like Mas Haris. He shouldn't have told me to leave

with this woman. Because for whatever it is, I really want to stay away from that woman.

" A minute, Asthma! " Other, Marina seduces.

I got up from the long chair in the waiting room along with it, a message came in from my Whatsapp, a message from Kak Mansyah and it made my mood worse.

Marina's tailing in the back. I chose the bale - the bale that was to the left of the Puskesmas. The L-shaped table was very fitting for us, so we did not have to sit close.

This place is a bit far from the other patients so we are a bit comfortable because there is privacy.

" I pray that the man over there is not your husband" the woman said.

" Bad prayer. "my cynicism.

" Whatever it is, .. for Fadil's sake. A mother would do anything for her child, wouldn't she? "

Aih. aih. apparently this woman wants to invite me to war makian. Alright...

" Do it. Aren't you? It's always evil. "

The woman smiled. Take a deep breath. I really want to cut off that woman's lips.

" Thank you for reminding me how evil this self is. " I glanced at him squeezing his robe.

" I may not have the right to tell you this. However, a tangled past story would never unravel if it waited for Syafrie to do so. He will definitely keep his mouth shut to preserve my honor. " There was dew in the corner of his eyes as he looked at me.

" Syafrie and I have known each other for a long time. I'm a distant cousin of Syafrie. During college in the city, it was Syafrie who was asked by my father to take care of me. Because meeting too often, it grew feelings between us." I was angry and wanted to get out of my seat. Does he think I'd listen to their love story? Sorry, my time is precious.

" Asthma, please.. " Someone grabbed my left arm. I was upset to turn my body back.

" But I'm not interested in hearing your romance. Just tell someone else. No need for me."

Actually, I'm sick of seeing Marina in front of me. As much as I can I hold my nausea so as not to spill over the robe.

" Astma, it's for all of us. For Fadil and Syafrie." Marina grimaced holding her stomach. Maybe because he suddenly stood up, making his stomach suddenly cramp. Pregnant women are like that.

" Tell me quickly then. Not for you or them. But for my sake, so that I will not be pursued by you again for an explanation that is too late. "

I sat back down followed by Marina. He took a deep breath before finally reopening his voice. It's possible that he's hard to tell all because of his disgrace and Syafrie. And to hide disgrace is as good as man.

" In short, we are in a deep, borderline relationship. We were lost far away. When we woke up, we were drowning. I wanted to get married, but I was too young and my education wasn't finished. Finally, the word split becomes a choice.

We started to keep our distance. At first it felt difficult. But over time, Syafrie and I got used to it. When Syafrie finished college, I still had to fight in college. We had completely lost communication when the man decided to return to the village. A year later, I heard he was married. To be honest, I was heartbroken, but I tried to think positively. Maybe we're not fools. It's been. And he's lost my memory.

" Continue, point..? " i can't wait to leave him. My stomach is getting nauseous.

" I earned my bachelor's degree and returned to the village. And that's where the beginning of what I never imagined would happen. Mama found my diary. There is the name of Syafrie and our great sin in it. My father and mother are angry. A day later, he met Syafrie and your father, Asma. "

My chest's tight. He said his father went to see his father. Why did they bring my parents with them to cover their disgrace. I'm getting sick of it. My nausea is getting unbearable. I finally spewed out all my stomach contents in the trench near the hospital. There's nothing I can spit out but clear water.

" Are you okay, Asthma? " Marina was feeling anxious while patting me gently on the shoulder.

I clasped his hand. " I'm fine. Just continue with your story."

I wiped my lips, then sat back where we were.

" If you get sick, we can continue later. "

" Do you think I'd see you again? "my fetus.

" I'm sorry."

" Of course, story! "my orders.

" I refused, but I don't want to know. She said she was ashamed that I would have a husband and find me no longer a virgin. I can't blame my father. You do not know for sure how our society is so upholding the hymen? "

" That's why you killed my father? "

" For the sake of the earth and the rest of it, I swear that I don't want it."

" Curl, that's bullshit..! "

The mood was silent for a moment. The woman in front of me bowed while playing her finger.

" So, what do you want? "

" Huh, what? "

" Your purpose is to tell me this?"

Oh, tha. I want you to forgive Syafrie. Events in the past are not his fault."

" He left me. Marrying you without my knowledge." I emphasized every word she said to let her know I was angry right now.

" Maybe you can ask Syafrie why she hid our marriage from you. But for God's sake, Asma. I testified that Syafrie accepted me back under my father's pressure. And there was no more love in his eyes for me. Believe it." I wanted to laugh out loud when I saw my honey persistence, begging me to forgive her husband.

" So, you're doing this for Syafrie? " He nodded. I applaud Syafrie's choice in my heart. It's not wrong that he chose this woman. Seen from wherever he is too stunning. Motherly face. A gentle smile, silent eyes exactly with Mas Haris eyes. For whatever reason I am not equal to him.

" I'm willing for him to forget me for the sake of his happiness."