RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 46

People often say, making a wound does not take long. However, the scar will be lasting for a long time.

It's not like me now. I who was buried by the wound of betrayal Syafrie has now unconsciously also given the same wound to Mas Haris.

I have endless regrets about myself, why should I return to my hometown, if it turns out that was the beginning of the catastrophe of the destruction of the love I just found back at Mas Haris' side.

I stared at Syafrie and Kak Lela who were busy putting my clothes in the suitcase and bag.

Since then, they went back and forth in my contract, dismantling and looking for any items - items that I will carry and later I will need while at my mother's house.

I've been out of the hospital for a week, and for that long, I've never seen Mas Haris again.

I have tried many times to contact Mas Haris but the results are nil. Mas Haris' number is always inactive. Hundreds of chats and SmS from me went undelivered.

I've asked my office friends about Mas Haris' whereabouts, but all of them are silent. No one wants to tell you where Mas Haris is. Even Eni and Dira who I consider like brothers outnumber friends, choose to shut up and lock their mouths shut.

My mind is agitated all the time. My brain feels stuck, I can't think. Not to mention the nausea that I suffered because of the congenital pregnancy of Syafrie child who was in my stomach increasingly makes me feel tired.

And already this week, Brother Lela and brother Adit who came with his wife, came to accompany Syafrie to take care of me. If only they were not in this place, of course the son of Syafrie in my stomach was full of hearing my curse and curse for his father.

For whatever reason, I really hate the existence of this child in my stomach. Especially now coupled with his fussiness while in my stomach, as a result.This child became the second creature on earth that I hated the most after his father.

I hated him, and as I knew I would dislike him, he returned me in his own way. I'm having a severe cravings phase. Vomiting, fainting, and light bleeding. Vomiting, fainting, that's all I've been through for a week in Syafrie's pregnancy. So I became a hospital subscription because of the frequent in and out of the hospital for a relatively short time.

He seemed to be intending to avenge my cruel treatment of his father by torturing me.

For that reason, without discussing with me first, Kak Mansyah who is the oldest child in my family and acts as a substitute father, along with his brother-in-law the Syafrie , the two men came to my place of work and handed me my resignation without my knowledge and without my consent.

The company I worked for could not resist because they brought a letter of recommendation from the doctor who said that I should take a complete break during pregnancy.

It feels like a skyscraper with hundreds of floors like collapsing and smashing my body soul until it is destroyed unceremoniously.

That day, I cried so much. roared with all the swearing I took for all of them. Regretting everything they've done for me.

Why are they that hard on me? They just destroyed my career, my dreams, my hard work and also my hard-won future from scratch, now gone in an instant.

I rampaged blindly and destroyed whatever stuff - stuff that was near me and after that again - again it all ended in fainting.

The one who suffered the most from it all was Syafrie. I even gave the man a vase of flowers that precisely kissed the man's forehead before he finally fell to the floor and was smashed to pieces.

Fresh blood immediately poured out on Syafrie's forehead that was leaking from the impact of the flower vase from me.

Not quite there, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed the kitchen knife lying on the table near the stove and ran back to the man I wanted to eliminate the most in the world. If the screams and slaps of brother Mansyah I did not hear of course tomorrow I found a headstone bearing the name brother-in-law Mansyah was stuck on the ground.

" Asthma, outside there's Haris." Someone I then knew - to Mas Adit's wife - touched my shoulder and awakened me who was sitting in a dream.

Immediately I ran outside to the living room to see the man I hadn't seen in nearly two weeks.

There, I saw the man I missed so much that was talking seriously with Syafrie. I don't know what they're talking about, but I did hear Syafrie apologizing to the man. I don't know why Syafrie apologized to my man.

" I asked permission to talk to him" said Mas Haris.

" Mas." calls to Mas Haris. The two men looked.

" Heart - heart. I will approach." said Mas Haris as he walked up to me.

My heart thumped as I saw the man walking towards me. It feels like thousands of flowers have sprung up on my chest. But wait a minute..... Haris did not come alone. There's someone with him.

My smile disappeared. The euporia that had been present in my heart now disappeared somewhere.

I looked fixedly at the woman who looked like she was in a spoiled dress in the man's arm. Instantly my chest rippled. There's a bunch of stuff lying there. Instantly there was dew in my half-dead eyes I resisted so as not to cry out when welcoming the presence of the two men.

" Astma, how are you? This is Isna . She's my future wife." Lord.....

Pias. It felt like blood was no longer flowing in my body. My body trembled withstanding the emotions that suddenly burned my heart. Jeez...had not lost limp due to my rampage when Kak Mansyah and Syafrie submitted my resignation letter without my consent, now I have to be faced again with the harsh reality that is in front of me. Mas Haris came and introduced a woman he referred to as his future wife.

" What the fuck is this? This isn't all true, is it.? You only want to repay me because I betrayed you. Aye, right? " sign me in a trembling voice. I lost all respect and respect for that man. Without any frills calling 'Mas', which I used to do. I call him by the name of you.

" Ashma, I can't see you anymore. You are haram for Loving. Understand....It's not the same anymore. I hope you can understand and accept all of this" he said as he looked at Isna.

":Look me in the eye when I talk. Don't be a coward." My eyes while holding back growled. I really feel very humbled. " Is it because I'm pregnant"

" Asthma.. "

" We can raise her together. Please, don't treat me like this." I begged and grabbed the man's shirt.

" Asthma, understand. We can't be together anymore. Someone is more entitled to you than me, " said Mas Haris. There were tears that broke loose when Mas Haris said that.

The woman who became Mas Haris' future wife might feel uncomfortable being among us. He then decided to ask permission to leave the living room.

" Didn't you want to be with me again because of this baby? "

" Asthma.., not like that. "

" What then, Mom? If we can't be together because of this baby in my stomach, then I can just abort it. Anyway, his presence I don't want."

" Athaghfirullah's....Istighfar, Asthma. It's not good to think like that. Although his presence is not your desire and the way of his presence is not known to you, but look! it has actually become God's destiny upon you. You mustn't have the mind to abort it because it's a sin, Asthma. Increase the punishment of Allah, fear Allah. All this was arranged by Him. So let's start today Mas will learn to stop loving you."

Whahuh? He said he would learn to stop loving me? I feel like I want to laugh. As I recall, he was the one who said 'Learn to open your heart and love me'. But what happened?..... After I managed to open my heart and now start loving her, she just dumped me? it's so good for her!

For some reason, the feeling of pain in my heart so sharply stomping made me feel numb.

This pain, it makes me feel like I'm dead, alive, unwilling. Alright....

I really need to know myself. All this time despite knowing that I had betrayed our love with my two-week marriage with Syafrie so as to produce a fetus in my body, but Mas Haris still wanted to take care of me when I was sick, still giving his affection to me, even still willing to pay all my hospital fees.

Ok... I can take it. Consider it my budding reply because Mas Haris has been kind to me. I'll be able to live it. The pain of Syafrie's betrayal alone I am still strong, so to be injured again the second time, I think I will be able to survive.

If so, who should I blame. Syafrie or my greed ?