RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 13

My mother and all my brothers and the rest of my family have all gathered in the living room. Well... they're all going to trial me.

I sat in the living room like a sick person being interrogated by the public prosecutor and the judge. If this is the case, it feels like the presence of Mas Haris will mean a lot to me. His hand as usual will be able to give me peace and strength.

Mama has been sobbing in the arms of Lela, and Kak Darre who is seen helping Kak Lela calm her. The children have all been moved to other places, because soon the trial schedule for me will arrive.

When I see my mom, I want to run and hug my mom. But when I saw the glint of anger in the eyes of my brothers, especially Kak Mansyah, my courage receded. I chose to sit still while playing the tip of my hijab.

Brother Darre, let out a long sigh. The anger that I had seen in his eyes, was now slowly receding. Now my third brother can only sigh, unable to make a sound.

Don't ask me about Brother Mansyah. The eyes of the man were already emitting flames of anger that were ready to burn me alive. I silently shuddered to imagine how the anger of Brother Mansyah who will soon gush out.

" You think you were born of a rock! " So eyes of brother Mansyah still at home looking at me who can only be bowed down not dare to answer the slightest words - words thrown from the mouth of the man.

Both hands are on his chest. Similar to the style of a supervisor who was reprimanding his subordinates. Apparently my silence is like a spark that burns out dry twigs. Wait a minute, his mouth will speak his venomous words.

" What matters is what brings you back. Do you finally realize that there are still your mama and brothers here and you were not born of stone. " Well, that's right...! my brother had already started to put out a supply of words - his spicy words.

" Be calm, dear, do not make your mother more sad with your words like that. " Kak Dinar, the woman who is the wife of Kak Mansyah calms her husband so as not to get too carried away with emotions in dealing with me.

" He's gone too far, Din !" point Brother Mansyah to me. I was horrified to see the angry gaze of Brother Mansyah. " Go as you please, and then come back as you please. He thinks we're not who - who he is. Five years into his departure, we can still be patient waiting for his return. We still hope he comes back because there is still a sick mother - sick thinking about him. Ten years without any news from him made us give up. Even the last time yesterday I renewed the family card, I wanted to add the deceased in front of his name. I was so desperate as a sister waiting for her sister. We understand he's hurt, but he doesn't think about our feelings either. We are just as open as him. We mourn the loss of our Father and nephew who faced the Divine, then added to the sorrow of his departure." said Kak Mansyah like stripping myself naked. Crystal details - the clear crystals fell one by one on my lap. The words of Brother Mansyah were so piercing, like a sharp spear piercing right in my heart.

" Sister, the important thing is that Asthma is back with us.! " Sister Darre came over and grabbed my trembling hand holding my sobs.

Unsatisfied, Brother Mansyah pushed me to the brink of guilt. Back he yelled at me. " What's been, Darre. I am ashamed of Syafrie who had to shoulder his own responsibility - the responsibility that should have been borne by him! " Mansyah's index finger was pointing at my face in a voice that had risen by several octaves.

Feeling unacceptable with Kak Mansyah's slurs, I raised my face to look at him in wonder. Why was the man brought in - bring in our family matters. I don't like him very much and don't intend to forgive his mistakes.

" I'm sorry, sister, Asma knows that Brother Mansyah is angry. Asthma knows Asthma is wrong, and Asthma does not deny it. But can we not involve others in this family conversation. "bluffily I said as I glanced at Syafrie who was sitting behind my mother.

" Astma, your husband Syafrie, deck." Brother Lela who had been silent, now made a sound. Now all eyes are focused on me. My mother's cries are no longer heard. It seems quite surprised to hear Kak Lela's statement earlier.

"Do I need to remind you again..? I told Syafrie that since she married that woman, she was no longer Asma's husband. " I deliberately made my voice as soft as possible as my gaze drifted toward the eyes - eyes that were disappointed in me.

Why are they still the way they used to be, never defending me! Syafrie is always right and I am always wrong. Their brother is me, not Syafrie.

" Syafrie never divorced you, deck!" Brother Lela silenced the silence I created. " Syafrie has done something wrong, but he has made up for it." Lela turned to Syafrie who then nodded as if to say that she was okay.

I snorted at Brother Lela's words. My chest is hot with anger. " Hmm, I've never enjoyed the money from the sale of his heart. So I guess he hasn't made up for anything from me" I said as I stared cynically at Syafrie.

For whatever sake my hatred for Syafrie is like poison that keeps gnawing. The man, instead of being angry at what was coming out of my mouth, smiled as if he were saying, "just take out everything in your heart, Asthma. If that makes you satisfied." And the oath of death I really eneg made.

" Deck, have your wounds not healed yet? "both my eyeballs grew, but soon I regained control of myself. I don't want them to read my heart's wounds that are bleeding again.

" It's been a long time, deck. Learn to forgive others. For others have learned to forgive you." Brother Darre stroked my hand. A clear liquid fell dripping down on Kak Darre's hand, my tears. Short of not accepting. Why am I required to forgive others who have stabbed me so deeply.

I rubbed my tears violently. " Brother Darre, it's easy for me to forgive the mistakes of others, but not for him. .! " thank the silent Syafrie. " He who caused me to lose the Father and also the child." I said softly, barely audible but able to make Kak Mansyah who heard back ignited.

The table in front of me was violently kicked out, leaving me in fear. " How many times have I told you, Syafrie has made it up, Asma! How times? Even though you're my sister, that doesn't mean I just justify all your actions. Just so you know, the man you hate so much has been replacing your duties for so many years... "

" Sister, Asma just got back. I'll say it later. You all rest first. We still have plenty of time to discuss this issue. "reprove Syafrie while touching Kak Mansyah's arm.

Hah. I'm sick of him. Even in this situation, he still looks in front of my whole family. I'm sick of that pretentious mask. It felt like I wanted to tear his face apart until it could no longer be recognized.

One by one, they all left the living room. Brother Darre came up to me and said that I don't have to think about Mansyah's words. According to him, brother Mansyah only misses me terribly. So the spicy sentences that came out of his mouth were the impingement of his affection and longing that had been hidden.

...-----...

My eyes could not be shut remembering all the events that happened this afternoon. So I decided to get up and sit in the house, hoping that my drowsiness would come. I open the Whatsapp application hoping there is a chat coming in from Mas Haris. Today Mas Haris did not call. I don't want to bother him either. Maybe he was busy. I decided not to contact him.

For some reason, resentment has plagued my heart ever since our conversation last afternoon that was not finished. The heat and anger still burned my heart. Why does Mansyah blame me... Brother Lela and Brother Darre did not defend me either, and it was mama who chose to keep quiet.

Why do they still do all this to me. What's wrong...?? Why am I married to my wicked husband, and why are all wrongs inflicted on me.