RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 35

My body almost fell.. It's lucky the man I hated the most over the last ten years caught my body. If not, maybe I'll really lose my memory because my head fell and was hit by a tile.

I'm really in shock right now. It was the proper term to describe my current state. I deliberately bit my lips with all my might to hold back so that I wouldn't scream hysterically no matter how bloody my lips were.

I need to be able to control myself. I need to be able to control myself if I don't want depression to be my best friend again.

Syafrie hugged my body and immediately led my body to sit on the edge of the bed. Immediately she let go of her embrace and put some distance on us when she saw that my body was trembling with shiver.

" Astma, don't do this" he said softly.

" I deliberately withhold telling you this because this is what I was afraid of. You're shocked. Look. You're a mess. Sorry I can't wait. " He wants to get close to me. But when he saw the killing aura in my eyes, he closed in.

" You hid it from me? "

" no. For God's sake, Asma. I'm just putting it off. " The guilty face that Syafrie showed made me really sick.

" liy..! You're a liar, Syafrie! You purposely hid it from me! " I want to shout loudly at Syafrie but because of this fucking trembling that still feels at home stuck in my body then the sound I let out is only a soft hiss. " You and all my family. You're all assholes."

" Asthma.... "

" So Fadil is Fajri? " excuse me. How they say my son died and made a fake grave on it.

" Asthma, that's not how it's told."

" then? "

" Okay, but you promised not to get hysterical, right? " I was silent for a long time. I tried to calm myself down before finally nodding my head in agreement. I'm ready to hear whatever the truth is.

Syafrie let out a long breath. His eyes looked as if they were looking far ahead. " Fadil and Fajri are two different children. "

" you mean? " my question was holding back the dew that was about to fall and it turned out to be very difficult to do. My eyes from earlier felt hot holding back the water droplets that burst - ripples at the end of my eyes. As hard as I can, I fought so that the teardrops would not fall on my cheek. This time, however, I failed to hold it.

My chest's tight. Oh my God, it turns out I was a mother all along. How sad I am as a woman who even has a child I do not know. How sad. The tightness of my chest, the pain...

" Fadil our son. Fajri.... "

" who? Marina?" I cut off Syafrie's words quickly. If that's all true, then curse you, Syafrie! How he changed my son to not hurt his second woman. Various thoughts - bad thoughts filled my brain. Moreover, at that time I did not see Fajri buried. So those ugly thoughts are now running through my mind

The figure of the man with a sharp nose rubbed his face in frustration.

" Can't we talk without having to be accompanied by emotions, Asthma? " he looked annoyed at me.

I closed my eyes trying to dampen the anger that had now begun to penetrate the contents of my head. It's not that I want to be kind to Syafrie, it's just that, insisting against it I'm sure she won't tell me anything.

My eyes unintentionally glanced at the alarm clock above the nightstand. Geez.. It's already two in the morning. It's too late to talk about something important like this. But want anything else? I could never breathe again tomorrow, if Syafrie hadn't explained Fadil's whereabouts to me.

" Fajri is your son, and so is Fadil. "

If knowing Fadil is my son makes the breath in my lungs disappear instantly, then to know that both are my sons, keeps my body separate from mine. God. I'm dying. My body is shaking, shivering. Syafrie came and hugged my body.

Surprisingly, out of the many insults that he inflicted on me, I no longer cried. My tears are dry. I can no longer cry.

" Astma, calm yourself." He still hugged me tightly. He even kissed my head a few times. I don't give a shit anymore. I cursed the trembling at my feet that would not stop. My body is limp as if it's not powered. Damn it...

" Asthma, lie down, huh? " He persuaded me to lie down. I obeyed and obeyed as she then laid myself on the bed. Then he went to the closet which was scattered on the floor. He grabbed a blanket and then covered my entire body with it.

The blanket with blue and white stripes had wrapped all over my body. I don't give a shit. I just silently watched everything that Syafrie did with blank eyes and tightly locked lips.

" I slept here, yeah. I promise I won't be like. I just want to keep. "he said while stroking the tip of my head. " Can I open this?" She pointed at my headscarf. Seeing that there was no response from me, Syafrie finally ventured to remove the lid of my head. For a moment he was stunned staring at the length and blackness of my hair. " It's still like old times." he mumbled softly.

" They're twins? " I finally managed to open my voice. Syafrie looked at me. His eyes now moved from my eyes to my face. He's nodding. " Why didn't I know? "

He took a long breath again. " I don't know, I also don't really know for sure how the midwife in the village who used to check your womb doesn't know that your womb is twins. Obstetricians who handle the birth of Fadil and Fajri said that it could have happened, given the lack of health facilities in our village. I was just as shocked as you were to know that they were twins" Syafrie said as she clasped my hand.

" But the doctor we went to the hospital at USG time? " I can't figure out how the USG test results can't detect that my baby's twins. The results from the USG at that time did not show the image that I had twins.

" The doctor also helped you during childbirth in the hospital. He said, although rare, but cases like yours have happened several times. Her twin was hidden. You want to know why that happened? " He asked and I nodded obediently. Maybe if under normal circumstances, then I definitely refuse.

" Because both fetuses are in one Chorion sac, they make their positions close to each other and make one of them hidden and undetectable by the scanning machine. That's according to the explanation the doctor gave me. " His smile expanded as his hands clasped my fingers tighter. Okay. well, I'll let him touch me tonight. Tomorrow then? don't hope!

" You remember, don't you? You've been complaining about why your stomach is so big. Though at that time your womb just entered the age of six months? " I nodded. I remember complaining and crying because of the weight of my stomach. And this man next to me used to always wipe my stomach affectionately while showering him with a kiss on my stomach, to stop my crying.

" It's because they're twins, Asthma. You have two baby boys."

There was a bit of warmth in my heart after hearing the story of Syafrie. I am so glad and grateful that both are my sons. They were both born from my womb. At first I thought one of them was the son of Syafrie and Marina. Allahu akbar, I am very grateful to Allah for His gift.

But it didn't last long, because...

The memory of Fajri again sucked warm that had been present in the chest. Then.. everything is replaced with the gray color of sadness.

*you're killer....

You killed your son*.

That sentence that is now dancing - nari in my head, making it seem - will my head want to break. I can't take it anymore... God help me......!