RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 75

" I'm sorry, Mas.. " That's the only word I can say. I could only sob while lamenting the fate that seemed to play with my life. Why...this has to happen to me?... If only I could repeat everything. I prefer not to get to know the two people who have made me have to tear and also eat nestapa cake. If only...?

My mouth is locked tight. My body was shaking with my sobs. Wet my hands with tears that fall like a point - a point of rain. Don't know how I should. Should I be happy or grieving. But the feelings in my heart were mixed between feelings of solitude and sorrow rather than joy, realizing that it was not only me who suffered with the separation between us, but Mas Haris as well.

And so it is with this man sitting before me. There was a ripple stuck in the corner of his eye. If only he had opened his eyes at this moment, then I knew, surely the grains of clear crystals would have fallen down.

" If only you hadn't betrayed me, Asma." The man raised his head upwards. Half-dead he tried to hold back the sebak that felt stifling his chest.

" If you hadn't conceived Syafrie's child, we would have been happy by now. Our future will certainly not be like this. " The man is now sobbing. I was shocked and also sad...

" You know, I tried to die - to learn to love Isna. However, the more I try, the more your shadow rules over me. Until finally the woman could only accept the bitter reality when I canceled the statement of ijab qabul that I should have said in front of the ruler. Our marriage is also cancelled. My family bore shame upon Isna's family. And. me, until this moment I still can not be separated by the shadow of you. "

My crying is getting worse. I'm getting more and more in the wrack of guilt.

.

" The choices you make hurt us. Oh. wrong. I'm the only one who's sick. Because I see you're happy now. You're cruel, Asma. You must betray me. "

" Mommy, enough... "

" Hush up, Asthma. I'm not done yet. You may ask, what kind of love do I have? " Mas Haris looked at me softly with a sharp look." Do you know what my heart felt like when the doctor told me you were pregnant? I'm Destroyed, Asma. Devastated. How could a woman who had been so incredibly guarded all this time, who had even touched her hand I didn't dare, be able to get pregnant? " The man who some time ago was still my girlfriend is now more shaken.

" Mommy, enough. I'm begging... " Isakku is getting more and more bitter. Fadil's mother will falter a little more.

" Silence. I'm not done talking." Said Mas Haris later. His hands are still clenched on the table. It was obvious that he was trying to endure all his sadness.

" I knew then that Syafrie was your ex-husband. Fadil told me. I was surprised at that time. But it doesn't matter, because I love you, I can accept everything that's on you, including Fadil. But Asma, you must marry silently - quietly with the other man behind me. Why are you that cruel to me...? " Mas Haris shook his head.

I can't take it anymore

Syafrie's wife needs to get out of here. I really can't take it anymore. This man before me, his arrival has already turned back the heart and soul of an Asthma. If it continues then, I fear my heart will melt and receive the man's love back. Of course this will result in many parties whose hearts are hurt.

I looked at the man with tears. I admit, I have faltered. I was again struck by the vibration of my love for the man whose name I used to call in my do'a-do'i.

My heart is like being squeezed when I hear the expression of his feelings.

" But, Mas. All that's over. I don't mean to come to you for a past "I said.

Fortunately, I still remember all the messages that Kak Lela had given me. I also remember the cute and adorable face of Fika and also the face of my handsome son Fadil. And of course the kindness of Syafrie which until now I have not been able to repay.

Although I haven't completely forgiven the man, I don't want to be separated from him either. Because of those thoughts, which finally can make me still think sanely not to run back into Mas Haris' embrace.

" Hahaha. That's the difference between you and me. Seven months of time passed, but you could easily forget me. While me? Until this moment, here...... " Mas Haris patted his chest. " There's still you holding on there. "the look in Mas Haris' eyes looked at me sharply. His gaze was like it was no longer the Mas Haris gaze I knew. This time there was a hole buried there.

Hearing Mas Haris confession, my heart ached even more. Why did he say that now. Where he was at that time. Why was it that when I was falling and begging - begging for love for her and begging her not to be abandoned, she rejected me.

Even thousands of chats from me he considers just the wind then. Hundreds of calls from me he never picked up. Only Syafrie was ever present to me, despite my repeated rejections of the man who was my husband.

I can't be weak. I have to be strong. That's why, I need to get out of this place immediately. If no... I can already guess that in a moment, Syafrie's wife will give up and bend her knees.

Mas Haris just had to say another word and I made sure I would fall back into his arms. Hugged and accepted the man's love that I had so painstakingly killed.

Asmawati Basrie must leave this place as soon as possible if he still wants to save some hearts. He can no longer backtrack. In front of her is her future with her husband and children.

I stood up and intended to step out. A sturdy hand grabbed my arm and hugged me from behind. I whispered something that made my knees tremble. My limbs are weak and powerless.

" Asthma, let's get back together. I will accept Fadil and your daughter. Together we will build the home we dream of together.. "

O Lord, I beg you, strengthen the faith of your servant.

" No, Mas. I can't. I have decided that I will accept all my destiny. Haris is happy after this. Please, forget me. I'm sorry for all the pain I've ever given you. I can only pray, may Mas Haris get a better woman than me." I jerked Mas Haris' embrace until my body slipped out of his embrace. I stepped out leaving Mas Haris.

Before I went far away leaving the cafe, Mas Haris' voice was able to make my heart and heart bleed again - blood.

" Syafrie asked me to see you. "

You fucking Syafrie...!!!!