RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 42

God is never really sleeping. Allah is All-Hearer and All-Aware of the prayers of His servants. He heard my prayers. After being unconscious for days, you finally open your eyes. I feel so happy and grateful to God. But in addition to the gratitude I offer, I also grumble with anger at you.

Instead of supporting and apologizing to you, my evil tongue hurt you again. Maybe you still remember that you kicked me out that night from the room where you were being treated. Actually that night, I didn't really leave. I turned towards the room where Fadil was being treated. That's where I spent time with our son until morning.

The next day, I didn't go home. After a whole night of accompanying Fadil, I intend to go back to see you to apologize. But said Adit, your situation is not good - fine. He said, after my departure, you went back unconscious after hearing the news of Father's death and when you woke up in the morning in a state of severe depression, laughing yourself, crying and then raging .

I'm so sad to know that. Fadil needs you, Asthma. Because even though our son survived. But his condition is very weak. I don't know what our son is going through. However, I saw several pieces of hose attached to his small and weak body.

Did you know Asthma, among my sadness because of all the things that happened to us, Fadil became my only encouragement. I felt at home watching our baby linger. His body was very weak, lying in a glass box with a hose attached to his body. Hands - hands are very small. Her hair was thin, and what I liked the most was her face which was very similar to mine. For this one, surely you will be envious because there is no part of your face that he took.

For a month my little fadil was kept in an incubator. After a month, there comes a day when I can bring our baby home.

I remember that time, I excitedly brought Fadil home, hoping that you would improve and breastfeed Fadil. But my hope is gone. All I found was a fence of your house that was tight and could talk and curse.

You must know, who else if not Kak Darre and Kak Mansyah. For them I am an enemy that must be removed far from you. I'm the one who can't meet and talk to you. At that time, you could say I was full by their maki caci.

I still clearly remember the day that Adit's mother and sister came to my house to visit Fadil. Apparently in addition to wanting to visit Fadil, brands also want to talk about you. They want me to be more patient with your condition at that time. They asked that I and Fadil for a while not show face to face in your hopes.

I want to be angry and protest, Asthma. How could I not meet the wife and mother of my son. Why can't my son and I meet you. However, after they explained your pain to us, I relented. Look, Asthma. Whatever it is, when it comes to you, I always give up. Because I love you so much and love you so much. You are the only woman who owns my heart.

What about Marina? She was right as my second wife. The woman understood my condition, which no longer loved her. She will wait for me to love her again or for me to divorce her. Whatever it is, he'll take it.

Funny about our relationship. I have two wives, but none of the three of us live together. You live with your mom. Marina lives with her parents, and I live in my parents' house with Fadil. The marriage of the three of us is just a status.

However, I did not expect that you would leave me, Asma. Your departure that just left me was like trampling on my pride as a man. It feels like you threw dirt on my face. I'm angry and I hate you. You're so cruel in your ways. You got hurt and went into hiding from me without any more intention of coming back to me, too slapping my pride as a man.

The first three years without you,

I still live in my parents' house. I raised Fadil our son alone. It's hard enough for me to raise Fadil alone. Although sometimes your mama and Brother Darre often come to help me to care for Fadil, but it is not the same without you.

Especially when Fadil often in and out of the hospital because of the state of Fadil, our son who is often sick - sick. I often curse you for leaving me alone to take care of the child God has given us.

Our son Fadil is a special child, Asthma. He could only speak when he was three years old. And when I was five years old, I was a little comforted by his boisterous chatter that if it had started to speak fluently.

For five years of taking care of Fadil alone, I am very grateful to Marina. Although she is no longer my wife, she sincerely and willingly replaces your position as mother to Fadil. He regarded Fadil as his own son and lavished the child with a motherly affection for his son.

Well, my marriage to Marina lasted only a year. I could no longer give her my heart and she was too tired to wait.

We decided to split well - well. Luckily for me, even though we were no longer together, Marina still wanted to give her affection for Fadil and consider Fadil as her son. Your duties as her mother were taken over by Marina, who played the role of her mother.

But you take it easy, I never take you out of Fadil's heart and mind. I always introduce you as her mother and tell her that she is studying in the city.

Of course you still remember my friend Iqbal. Well.he's the one who's Marina's husband now. I'm saying this so you don't misunderstand me if you meet Marina later. I hope there's no more anxiety in your heart about Marina.

About how I could stay at my mother's house, it started from the condition of Fadil who was often sick - sick. Within a year he had to go back to the hospital several times. My job as a heavy equipment technician often forces me to leave Fadil for work. I can't always take care of him while I have to work.

So it is mamalah who bothers because they have to go back and forth to take care of Fadil and also the fields. So based on the results of the joint pot, it was decided Fadil and I lived together in the house of the mother, Mama, so that he can focus on taking care of his grandson because there is Kak Darre and Kak Lela who can help care for Fadil.

Regarding the pain of my mother and how I can be her donor, it seems your old father has told you a lot. So the story goes, among all her children, only Adit's brother who has the same blood type as her mother. But because Adit's leg body is weak and sick, then I volunteered as a donor. I am healthy and my body is strong. After all, our blood types are the same.

Actually I don't want to discuss the past . But in order to correct the misunderstandings that occurred in the past, then I am forced to tell you all this.

Through this letter I ask thee the greatest forgiveness for my sins in the past. For all the pain, pain, disappointment, and all the suffering I've ever inflicted on you.

And for a past sin that I didn't even know would love someone after Marina. Do you still hate me?

And as for our relationship, I realized Asma, although I know that I still have my heart, but I know that my position has been replaced by Haris. And I'm very sad to know that. Then my consciousness was slapped, Asthma. I have been cruel to you in the past.

Therefore, Asthma. I freed you from all ties with me. You're free now, Asthma. Marry Haris and live happily with him. I think he's a good, loving man. He will make you happy.

Regarding the divorce papers let me take care of it. You just sign.

Look at Fadil once - times if you have time. We will gladly accept your presence.

Finally, forgive my previous mistakes - then and now. See you at the trial.

Syafrie)

...-----...

I stared at the laptop screen with nanar along with a feeling of pain that hit the chest. During these three days since his arrival, I have read dozens of times the email that Syafrie sent, which he said was an explanation for the events that took place ten years ago.

Why the hate in my heart is not gone. Even after I read the email that Syafrie sent out, that mountainous feeling of hate was not going to be erased either.

I am still a stubborn and petrified Asthma. Especially when reading the last paragraph of the Syafrie email. The anger in my chest returned.

The man.

He divorced me through an email he sent me. So worthless was I that he divorced me by email.

Lost my regret and haru in my heart after reading his email.

I laughed grimly, humiliated by Syafrie's attitude. I feel like I've been dumped again even after ten years of the same injury repeated again.

If the man were in front of me, I would say that I never regretted my actions for leaving him, I even thank him for letting me go because if it continues then I would rather die alone than return to live with him.

However, for Fadil, there was an exception towards the boy. There are millions of regrets in my heart considering how cruel I was to that boy all along. I promise, I'll come back if I have free time to take her away with me.