RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 95

The car we were riding stopped right in the front yard of my house. The house where I used to be when I held the title of mistress of Jubair.

I was also surprised and had wanted to protest to mamak, why mamak asked me to stop by this house. A house that if I can't want to anymore I'm setting my foot in this place. The house that Jubair had built to lock myself in a fake wedding golden cage.

" Come down, we've arrived.! " mamak's orders when I was still flinching were reluctant to open the car door. I looked back, hoping Mas Haris' car had arrived. While Jubair, the man had gone down first with Ardi to unload the goods in the trunk.

" Why stop here anyway ,Mak? " my protest to mamak. While my eyes are still looking back. Where's Haris, anyway? thought upset. Don't don't don't let that guy get lost and don't know the direction to get here.

Realizing that, I immediately panicked. Well, how about Mas Haris stray, I thought.

I'm sorry for letting Mas Haris drive himself. Yesterday, Mas Haris wanted to bring his own car because the car we were riding was not big enough to load the three of us in the back.

The man reasoned that my comfort was his priority. I also finally relented and accompanied the mamak who preferred to go home with a Jubair car rather than with a Mas Haris car. It seems like you have not been able to accept the sudden presence of Mas Haris in my life. Also about the news he just heard about my divorce with Jubair. It looks like my mom was hit hard with it.

I felt annoyed and grew sick of that shameless man. What did Jubair mean by hiding my divorce from Father and Mamak?" I could not understand Jubair's attitude that seemed to close - cover up our divorce from everyone.

" Because it's here, right..your house? " answer mamak lightly.

I was surprised to hear the answer my mother never expected. Why can you say that.

" Mom.... Niah would never set foot in that house again. Niah wants to stay at the house of mom and dad only. "my whine.

Honestly, I feel uncomfortable when I have to go back to this house. It is the same as opening and licking back old wounds that have not yet dried up. I don't think I can afford that.

Not to mention my mother answered, suddenly from inside the house appeared my Father at the door.

" Bapak..". "lirihku barely heard.

I was stuck and could hardly believe what I had just seen. I saw my Father sitting in a wheelchair with a haggard and uninspired face while being pushed by my two sisters.

O Allah.....What happened to the man who was my first love?

There was a tightness and pain that hit my chest, realizing how much time had changed this life. The man who used to look so fierce and mighty, now is like a helpless figure. His once strapping body contains now only bones wrapped in skin.

With trembling hands I opened the car door and set my foot on the ground. I intended to go down to go to the father, but when my feet were just on the ground, suddenly my body suddenly went limp.

My head was suddenly dizzy and both of my legs were weak and felt powerless. I collapsed to the ground without being prevented.

Sayup sayup I heard the cry of the Father who called my name and the screams of mamak who asked for help. And then it all turned dark......

The smell of eucalyptus oil piercing my sense of smell made me instantly wake up from fainting.

I opened my eyes and found myself lying on the living room couch in the house that I had once occupied with Jubair while still holding the title of Madam Jubair.

Nothing has changed with the layout of the furniture and also the decor of the room. What changed was just the color of the paint.

Formerly this living room was pale with shades of light blue my favorite. Now this room has changed shades with white that dominates. It looks like a hospital, I thought.

I felt my head in someone's lap so reflex made me look up and find a reality that left me half-dead in shock.

Jubeir...... Jeez...... What happened...?

With all my might I tried to get up to lift my head from the lap of that bastard Jubair. It's good that he took advantage of my fainting state to try to touch me. Cuddle..seeking opportunities in her narrowness, bah.....

" Dek... don't move much first, your condition is weak.... " Nah.that's Mas Haris' voice.

I looked to find the source of the sound. Apparently the man who had just officially taken the status of my lover was standing right behind me with a face

which is full of anxiety.

I shook my head weakly and asked with a hand gesture for my handsome man to help me get up. Don't want me close together let alone come into contact with the shameless man from the village like Grace.

Doubtfully, Mas Haris finally approached me and extended his hand helping me to stand up and move away from Jubair accompanied by the astonished gazes of my father and my two younger brothers and the sharp glances of Jubair.

The man actually wanted to protest with my attitude as if to keep my distance and not want to be close to him.

" Please take Niah to rest in her middle room, Nak Haris..! " let's tell Mas Haris. The man looked confused as he guided my standing hand and did not know where to walk.

Although this used to be my home, but right now, there is a sense of awkwardness that pervades my heart so that I feel like a stranger in my own home.

Finally I headed to the room located in the middle of the three rooms in the house guided by Mas Haris.

" How you feel, deck. Mas was very anxious to see you passed out earlier. "asked Mas Haris in a whisper.

" I'm fine, Mas. I just need to rest, thanks for worrying. Oh, ja. The living room is next door. Take a break there, well, "I said as I tried to smile at the shady-looking man.

I don't want to make that guy feel anxious. Finally Mas Haris took my hand off and let me rest in my room.

I lay down on a soft foam mattress and then closed my eyes. This huge foam mattress I once occupied and became a silent witness to the long, lonely nights I spent alone.

My wait for the presence of Jubair never ends beautifully. Every night I wish the man was here, even if it was just to lay down beside me. But all that is only hope. He went home every day, but the man never slept in this room. He chose to sleep in the living room or in the house of his mistress.

How shiny. I lived a material life but lacked love and compassion. My husband only gave me status without ever giving me a chance to wear it. All I got except her heart and hers which she said for her mistress's lover.

The shadows of the past came back to greet me as I tried to get them out of my mind.

" Dec... today you want to marry Meli. " said Jubair one day. My hand that was preparing breakfast for the two of us stopped instantly in the air.

I was shocked and in disbelief. The shaking felt all over the body. My chest suddenly went numb. There was a silent pain - a silent stab in my heart.

I closed my eyes for a moment, arranging my heart to keep throbbing and not too badly torn. Our marriage was almost two years old, without love and without intimate relationships.

But now there is no wind there is no rain, suddenly my husband said that he wanted to marry his lover.

Collapse is my hope. This is the most frightening moment for me. The time - the moment that man would dump me.

I realized this man sitting in front of me never loved me. He's been asserting that to me since we first got married.

I remember the first night we had. It was a beautiful night for a newly married couple, but it was a painful night for me. It's too painful to remember. My self-esteem was trampled by that man. But I realized, this man has done a lot for my family.

The man who had just shook my father's hand and uttered the qabul ijab in front of the ruler said that he could not touch me and gave me my right as a wife because he did not love me.

The reason the man did so was because he already had someone as a moor and married me was simply coercion due to the insistence of both his parents. And he also felt sorry for my family's shortcomings.

"Sister married adek because father and mother really wanted adek to be their daughter-in-law. They don't like Meli as a daughter-in-law. And anyway I feel sorry to see the condition of the family adek. Don't expect more from this marriage. I can't give you your due because I can't divide my heart and betray Meli. I hope you can understand" said the man. Then she walked out of our bridal room, left me alone on our bridal night and just came home at dawn.

" Okay, sister." I replied briefly with quivering lips holding back the cry. I tried hard and did not look fragile in front of the man. I don't want him to see my weakness. Although it hurts, but I should be able to accept and pretend not to hurt. I again suggested to myself that it was okay in honey as long as the man did not divorce me. I still appreciate him for what he did to my whole family.

The title I looked up and also the living expenses of the whole family and also the school fees of my sister were all due to the kindness of this man. Let's just say I'm repaying my whole family's debt to him.

But still, my heart was not that glorious. That's what I feel right now.

After the man's departure, I cried in the room, spilling all my pain. Instead of being afraid of falling into sin he was the reason he married the woman. All this time I knew that they had sinned behind my back. I just turned a blind eye to the man she said had the title of husband. Does not guarding and covering the disgrace of the husband is his legal worship.

" Niah, get up, son.!" The voice of my mother calling me from outside the room, scattered my entire courtyard.