RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 80

He led me to bed. Put myself down carefully. After laying my body on the bed, I asked Syafrie out.

I need to be alone right now. After all by continuing to be with him here, it would make me really like losing my pride. Because I don't know how to cover up the shame of Syafrie's refusal.

...-----...

Heavy rain in the morning began today after dawn. Initially it was not swift, only in the form of points - points of water that fell on the roof of the mother's house made of zinc, but the longer the more swift. The air temperature is cooler than usual.

The wind that blows hard swiping the leaves - coconut leaves make a loud sighing sound. His voice combined with the sound of rainwater points to make a unique sound like the clang of classical music Symphony made by Mozart.

I wriggled my body and pulled back the blanket that had slumped at my feet and carried it covering my entire body tightly. I don't know why I feel so lazy today. Probably due to cold weather.

About Fika, I don't have to worry. My little baby was taken care of by his father. After dawn, her father lifted her up and took her to the living room. Usually, the two would spend time playing together until it was time for Syafrie to go to work. Then he would hand our daughter back to me.

Sometimes, if I had time, Shafrie would help me to bathe Fika and dress up my little daughter before handing her back to me. So when Fika returned already in a fragrant and clean state.

Syafrie has always spoiled me. I was treated like a queen to him.

The affairs of his children are taken care of. For clothes, he wouldn't allow me to wash myself. He brought all the dirty clothes for diloundry every time he was about to leave for work.

Syafrie also never asked to be served both physically and spiritually. For cooking, she had already assigned a household assistant. He hired our neighbors to take care of all the house cleaning and cooking in the kitchen.

According to Brother Mansyah, what less is the Syafrie to me. He broke me in this house. Despite the embarrassing events of a few days ago. The man who holds the title of husband still meets all the needs of the family. All my needs, he fulfilled. My duties and responsibilities are sometimes he's working on them. In fact, almost all of my duties he took over. Although I felt, that the man was impressed to avoid me. But apparently, he did not forget his responsibility.

Being used to it, I eventually became accustomed to the worship of Syafrie to me. Damn, I enjoyed it. Even worse, the shame that yesterday had stopped due to Syafrie's refusal to yawn somewhere.

Now all that remains is the comfort of enjoying all the facilities that Syafrie provides. Secretly, I also hoped that Syafrie would change her mind and come back closer to me so that we would make up for it soon.

Like today. My heart flowered happily at the footsteps of someone entering my room as well as the smell of perfume that I knew who the owner was smelled so close to my presence that was still wrapped in a blanket.

The bed I was lying on moved.

Yep... My heart beats twice as fast.

Does Syafrie want to lie next to me?

Are we going to make out this morning? Then do.. that?

W... How is this? I feel less confident. I imagined my body being slightly stretched after giving birth to Afika. Is Syafrie still lusting after seeing my body.

I unconsciously felt my body and felt ashamed of myself. Especially when I remember last night I was wearing a different color underwear. Surely Syafrie will be even more lascivious if he sees that... Those silly things just kept dancing in my head.

" Asthma.... " I feel elusan on my left arm. I pretended to wake up. But not fully opened my eyes. It's nothing, honestly I was just busy arranging the contents of my chest that wanted to come out.

" Asthma.... " The voice called back to my ear. The perverted devil that was yesterday entrenched in my head, seemed to be present again in my head. Thinking about what if only Syafrie was currently on top of my body.

Oh my goodness. I curse in my heart. So cheap....

No. That I can't do. I can't let Syafrie break her fast that easily, after a few days ago she rejected me and lowered my pride.

So. the angel soul inside me once again prevailed against the perverted demon.I had a little shame so as to successfully suppress the urge to pull Fika's father into the blanket and pounce on her.

I squirmed and pretended to be disturbed at his call.

Seeing me still trying to separate my eyelids, Syafrie spoke again. " Have you seen my locker key, haven't you? Is that the one with the yellow hangers on the table? Same with my orange work vest..? "

Yep.. Lord. I'm disappointed...

" Want to work..? " I opened my eyes rather lazily. Scroll the clock on the silver-colored wall, at 08:30.

Jeez.... It was noon. But...isn't he going to work in the morning - early in the morning?

" Hmm, yeah... "

I flicked away the thick red blanket that wrapped my body rather roughly and got up. " A minute, I'm gonna wash my face first."

I rushed to the bathroom, limped, brushed my teeth and washed my face quickly, then went back to the man who was still lying on my bed.

" So you said the orange vest and the key were yellow hangers, right? " i asked back.

" Yes... "

My hand moved in search of the two objects that the Syafrie meant. Before long, I managed to find him and intended to hand him over to Syafrie. Yet...

My eyes caught something that made my face and my heart burn again.

" There's this, Syaf...? "

" Asthma, we've talked about this... "

" Talking, what? Listen yes, Syafrie..

we never agreed on anything! So never make a decision as good as you.. ! " My husband with emotion. My voice went up a few octaves.

" Asthma. A week ago, we... "

" We what? What.., Syaf...We don't decide anything, SYAFRIE!! NAH..! " Jerkku. Oh.... Oh my God, I feel so angry at this man that he wants to tear his body apart.

" Already, Asma." he said, bowing his head with his hands clinging to each other, without daring to look at me.

" Dear....! Not Syafrie! Not yet..! If I say no, then it means not yet! Goddamn it...! I went to Syafrie and pulled her collar as hard as I could.

I didn't realize I was doing it because I was so angry about what that guy just did. If only Brother Mansyah was there, maybe I'd been scolded by Syafrie's best friend. However, indeed Syafrie deserves to get the anger and swearing from my mouth.

Perhaps also if I did not remember God, and the heat of Hell that I would later find, I might have slapped repeatedly the face of the man labeled my husband right now.

Syafrie grabbed my hand that was still clutching her neck violently and pulled it down.

" Asthma... The wounds I inflict on your heart are deeper than they appear on the outside. I can't stand to see you get hurt anymore, Asthma. I can't... My sins are too much. Perhaps by parting from me, it will be able to heal a piece of flesh on your torn chest and now it has been blackened by the wound. Every night, I find it hard to sleep just thinking about the many mistakes I've made to you. My chest feels tight, Asthma. Eating is bad, and I can't concentrate when I'm working. All I have in mind is you and me. You should be happy anyway. I have to see you happy. So that I don't continue to be strangled in guilt. In the last few months, if you see me more silent, it doesn't mean that I've kept you quiet. I'm trying, Asthma. I tried it so hard. No matter how I know, you won't want to welcome my hand. But I kept forcing it. I keep stalling it as hard as I can. Because I love you so much. I love you so much, Asthma. I was so confused how to convey my feelings. I know, if you hear this for sure you'll feel disgusted at me. I know, you will definitely reject me. From that, I decided to just walk away from your life, Asthma. So, please let me go, Asthma.. "

A single tear of Syafrie fell on the back of my hand. Tears that came out from the bottom of his heart. Tears of fatigue or perhaps tears of exhaustion.

My heart throbbed bitterly at the sight of it. The taste in my chest hurts a lot. Ta Lord.. Have I been too limited in torturing the inner Syafrie?

But... do I also have to comply with his request?

My esophagus's choked. " So you want us to split up? " I asked her while biting my lips which I felt was a little quivering.

" Maybe it's true. We were created not to be together. It may be predestined that our way of life will end this way. How else... I am too long grizzled in the mud disappointed and my nest and you who may be tired waiting for me. Instead of betraying myself in the end you come back to me. "my words wept with tears.

I couldn't look at Syafrie until I could only look at the tile floor that was getting colder. My eyes were getting blurred by tears.

" That's because I love you so much. Very, very Asthma. Don't think that I threw you away. "

" Thank you for the consolation. To be honest, I didn't mean to see you back, if only to cry together again. I don't mean to create memories filled with pain. If you think parting is the best option for both of us, then let's once again become strangers." My tears broke vying to burst out. My chest was numb and getting numb from a hiccup in my chest.

" No more crying. Soon you will be free. I just need to say talak and we'll never get back together again.... "

Syafrie cries. Her tears are as hard as my tears.

I regret.... If I had known from the beginning, I wouldn't have given him the chance to come back to me. Like a fool who was fooled, I can only regret. I feel ashamed and sad. My fate was thrown away and thrown away like before. He doesn't want me anymore. I'm back again wounded. Back again I became a wasted Asthma and lost love. Why is Syafrie so cruel? Where he made me comfortable first then after that dumped me without mercy.

Oh my...I want to be happy. But why cry like rain...?

I lowered my head not daring to raise my face to know the state of Syafrie. I don't want Fadil and Fika's father to see this miserable state of me. My eyes are puffy because most are crying.

I acted as if - by giving the man a chance when in fact I was saving my heart so as not to come back injured as before. But apparently even though I had thrown my pride far away and put my prestige under Syafrie's knee, still the man threw me away.

Once again.I hurt my heart.

Seeing that I was silent, Syafrie walked over to her suitcase. Is correct.. He was serious about saying that he was going to leave me. The man packed and put everything he needed to carry with him in a slow motion, like he was deliberately tormenting me with the sight.

My head is getting empty. The shadow of living alone and having to babysit two children haunts my mind.

Am I capable?

Can I....?

While I was busy with all my thoughts, it seemed that Syafrie had finished packing. He walked over to me and smiled sweetly.

" We've finally reached this stage. I hope your life will be filled with happiness. I'm sorry, I can't say talaq right now. Because I can't afford it. Actually I'm scared, Asthma. Not to divorce you, but I ran into your arms. Please be patient a little more. I won't be long. Just wait for me to calm down for a while. I'll call you . I'm picking up kids, Dad! " He said while stroking my cheek.

" Can I hold you? ... For the last time "he said again.

I nodded while shedding tears.

Syafrie pulled me into her arms.

Calm down....

It's warm.dan.

Comfortable, yet full.

I cried a mouthful in the chest of the real man who was going to be my ex-husband again. While Syafrie dropped her lips on the tip of my head.

A minute.....

two minutes....

ten minutes.....

thirty minutes.....

It's been over thirty minutes that we've been hugging each other. No one wants to break away between us. Finally at the thirty-fifth minute Syafrie loosened his embrace. Staring at me lovingly and then again anchoring a kiss on my forehead deep and full of love.

After that he broke away and grabbed his suitcase. Walk in the direction of our door.

" Please don't go. "please with compassion.

Syafrie turned around and looked at me shaking her head.

When his hands stretched out to reach the door, I could not find the courage from where, suddenly I got up and half-trained running towards Syafrie.

Next to my hand pulled Syafrie's body and then wrapped both hands around her neck. Pulling his neck down to look at me.

I don't know where the devil is from. My moluccas seem to disappear. Lost my pride. I was shameless - ashamed to put my lips on Syafrie's lips.

Oh, my God, I actually feel so embarrassed doing it. I don't know where the demon whispers from. However, all I know is that I can't lose Syafrie back.

Getting a sudden attack from me made Syafrie's eyes widen in disbelief. His eyes are wide open. And so it is with his mouth.

Keep me..?

I.. broke up the veins of shame.

I'm possessed....

Have no shame.....

I greedily devoured Syafrie's lips. Just let.....!

Eventually I ran out of ways to persuade her... and it turned out that this way worked.!!!

If at first the mother's daughter-in-law was silent and did not respond to my perverted temptation, long - long eyes dimmed and finally closed...

I let Syafrie touch my body. I guess all this time I have learned a lot and shrewd but it turns out Syafrie is much more shrewd again.

Finally, not only were our lips clenched together, but I also completely allowed Syafrie to touch all parts of my body and then let her 'break her fast'. I gave Syafrie her right as a husband that I have never willingly given today without sleeping pills, or because of compulsion. All is pure of my will. .. and also without coercion.

" are you going to leave after this too? " I asked Syafrie after a while of silence after our sweat activity.

"..... "

I'm still in Syafrie's arms. Syafrie was still hugging my body tightly under the support of her body, as if she was afraid that I would be released again.. "

" No. You can't go, Syafrie. You've put thousands of tadpole seeds in my womb. I can't guarantee if none of those tadpoles broke through my uterus. You have to endure and take responsibility. "

Syafrie loosened her arms and looked at my face lovingly then kissed my lips briefly and again put her kiss on my lips.

" No. I will never leave you again.. " She said steadily.