RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 24

This morning, I woke up staring at the empty expanse out my window. My mom came and hugged me. " Patience, son. God is testing us. God wants to lift your degree, our degree. Have patience, baby! " he whispered while stroking my head. My tears are dripping down both of my cheeks. No. This is not a test for me. If this is a test from God, why is it so painful. I lost my father when I lost my husband. It hurts so much.

However, it was not only that that hurt me, another fact became a slap that made me realize that I was finished in this world.

" Hair is black, nose is pointed, and body is small. But I don't know what his eyes are. Since birth it has been closed. Your son is very similar to Syafrie. It's a duplicate of Syafrie. " That's what Saniah said the first time I asked him why there was such a painful stitch under my center. It was just me and Saniah.

I don't know, Saniah was talking about what kind of problem. " You know, behind all the events we experience, lies the wisdom we can take. Who knows, God is testing us to raise our level. The age and soul of God's secret man. Some come, some leave. I hope you can be patient with all this. " Saniah stared fixedly into my eyes.

I nodded confirming his words. " Sure, it seems that God is lifting my degrees, Niah."

" He will wait and welcome you at the door of heaven" he continued.

" who? Mister? " I asked him because I seemed to have begun to understand where he was going.

Saniah nodded in response to my question. " The other one, Asthma" he replied.

" If not Father, who? The shafrie? I pray that Syafrie, Alhamdulillah." I said.

" Hus, it can't be, Asthma. That's it, he's your husband." Saniah's eyes glared at my words.

I glared back. "May my prayers be fulfilled." my hope.

" Ashma, you just passed through the gates of death, so it's not good to pray bad for others." My best friend reminded me.

" Who then, dong? The marina? Thank God again." I came back. " If he won't wait for me in heaven, hell yes, kalee. "

" Asthma!! "

" What?! You want to defend him? " My emotions rose when I heard that my best friend was defending the woman who was my arch-enemy.

" Not so, Asthma." Saniah clasped my fingers tightly.

" Then what? Why can't I just call them both? My best friend shook her head. " why..? Let's answer..!" my insistence. Lepas has controlled me.

" You just realized, take a break, yeah" Saniah said. He took a pillow and patted it while fixing the position of the blanket that had now slumped on my feet.

I threw my face out there. Hope tightness in my chest can be thrown a little stuff. " Niah, I hate Syafrie and Marina so much" I told Saniah.

" Yes, I know. Now sleep..! " said Saniah. He hugged and hugged my shoulder to calm me down.

I smile. Although sad, I am grateful to have a friend like him. He was always there to support and care for me. Protecting myself and helping me wake up when I fall and fall like this. He loves me without limits.

" So, if it wasn't them, who, Niah? " i broke down the hug.

" who? " he asked with a frown.

" Who is waiting for me at the door of heaven" I said again.

" I hesitated to tell you this. It seems like this is not the right time. And anyway, it's not my right to tell you this."

" Say! "

" But, Asthma! " he doubted.

" Saniah..! You're my friend, right? "

" Your baby goes back to Rahmatullah, Asma. "

That was the last thing I heard from Saniah before I finally fainted back, like before. The message from Saniah, like the hammer of a sledgehammer that broke my wounded and bleeding heart, is now finally broken beyond measure.

Lost is my hope of having a handsome baby from Syafrie that I want to be proud of for the Syafrie Devotee. The foetus that I painstakingly cared for and cared for, now also left me like Father. My life is gone leaving a body. I'm in a daze, don't know what else to do.

I want to not believe all this. But the stitches under my stomach could no longer lie to me.

Who is to blame? The shafrie? or Marina? or maybe myself.

I know how dirty this is. It was so ugly that it could not feel glassy.

However, once He gave me a trial, it felt really painful. Until I live, I feel reluctant.

If it were to lose Syafrie not because of Marina, it might not feel as painful as this. However, this loss I got was due to a betrayal.

If Syafrie had not been entangled in the past with Marina until it ended up betraying me. If only Saniah hadn't come and told her about Syafrie's marriage to the woman. If only I hadn't indulged my anger, my son might still be alive today.

There is anger in my heart at the God who owns this destiny. Why isn't Syafrie the owner of all this misfortune. Until I don't have to feel a losing streak in my life. I lost my father, and then I lost my son. Why not just those who feel the loss.

They say I'm stressed and crazy because I daydream a lot, then suddenly laugh at myself. Then we cry and scream. Sometimes I get angry and run amok uncontrollably.

However, I am grateful. At least by experiencing stress, I can forget for a moment who I am and what is happening to me. Until I don't have to swallow any more live bitterness pills.

" I'll be fair to you! "

" Switch your heart, deck. You have gone home? "

" A man can remarry without the permission of his wife "

" Come home, your son has no father"

Those words alone have haunted me all this time.

I suffered from stress for five months and had to undergo treatment in a mental hospital due to my depression.

What a hara that Syafrie caused by his betrayal to make me have to undergo physiotherapy and have to take anti-depressant drugs for months.

This is my last week in this mental hospital. The mental hospital doctor that Kak Mansyah met said that I was progressing rapidly. Until they decided to send me home and continue my treatment at home. But on condition that I have to routinely consume drugs.

" Lady.! " Mommy smiled and held my arm. " There's Syafrie in front. "

As much as possible I struggled to refrain from going back into a rage when I heard my mom say that name again.

" Astma is sleepy, ma." I replied reluctantly.

Mama who did not catch the reluctance in my eyes, sighed. " But Syafrie's been waiting a long time, Asthma."

I honestly don't care how long he's waiting. A thousand years I don't care.

" Where to be found? Here or outside? "asked mama again. I actually have a lot of respect for my mom. But this time I refused to obey him.

" What the hell is ma, to talk about. Asthma feels everything is clear. Asthma doesn't want to see Syafrie anymore."

" But he's your husband, son. Sinning her law ignores her husband. Mama doesn't want her son to be a bad wife. Come out and meet him. There's something he wants to say and show you."

A bad wife? Who is more corrupt. I want to laugh out loud hearing your mother's words.

What did Syafrie do? Why didn't she say husband was a bad man?

" Sorry, ma. Asthma's tired." I refused subtly.

Then my mother passed from before me. The woman who gave birth to me into that world left me alone after previously stroking my head.

Silent. Only the sound of the wind and my breath was heard.

" Go home, I said. Don't you understand, Asma doesn't want to see you anymore. Are you not satisfied that you hurt my sister? Darre's voice echoed throughout the house.

"..... "

" See it yourself. That's a punishment you deserve."

"... "

" Why should my sister. Your wife isn't just my sister? Did you forget that you have a wife other than my sister, after all my sister is sick. Just have your new wife take care of it. That's the risk of having a married husband. Just go home there. I don't want her to be hysterical when I see you. "

" Darre, is it worth talking to your sister-in-law like that? " shouted Brother Mansyah.

" But, brother. She's..! " Bak Darre cut off Kak Mansyah's remarks, he did not accept Kak Mansyah defending the man.

" It's there, to the kitchen. It's a man's business.!

No more voices after that. I'm sure Brother Darre must be in the kitchen.

" .... "

" Yes, I know Asthma is needed there. I hope you can be patient a little more. Please give us about a week to prepare for Asthma. I promise, I'll take my brother there myself." said Kak Mansyah.

I can hardly believe my own hearing. Brother Mansyah said that he would take me there.

I closed my eyes. I don't want to hear more. But one thing I believe is that my family will hand me back to Syafrie.

No. gabe... I don't want to go back to that wicked man. I have to do something.

In the afternoon, I went to Saniah. I told you everything I heard from Kak Mansyah. And again I am grateful to have a friend like him. Thanks to his ideas and help, I managed to escape from Syafrie and my family.

...----...

The beginning - the beginning of the escape period I was more focused on hiding from the pursuit of Syafrie and my family.It never occurred to me to work in order to survive.What I have in mind is how I can stay away from Syafrie and also family.

With the money given by Saniah. I contracted for a restroom in the suburbs. But it was better than my room in the village which was nothing more than a room bounded by the wood of a scribe as a barrier wall.

But destiny says something else. I am grateful that the high school diploma I brought, has helped me to get a job.

I work anything to meet the needs of my life. Any work of halal origin. The important thing is I don't sell my honor or violate religious norms.

Until in the end, I ventured to apply for college at one of the private universities in samarinda. Thank God, I accepted.

Four years later, I graduated with very good grades. Armed with my bachelor's degree and the knowledge I obtained, I was able to get a decent job and meet my future husband Mas Haris.

Unfortunately, my return to this village was the wrong decision.

I'm stuck back in the marriage and household drama Syafrie left me ten years ago.

I deeply regret and condemn my reunion with Syafrie.