RUSTING BOAT
Chapters. 41

" I'm willing for him to forget me, for his happiness. "

I snorted, felt funny about what he said. " Want to know what's the difference between you and me? "

" What? "

" I'm willing to forget everyone for the sake of hurting him. Fadil. " I was really possessed by the jinn ifrit of the Beach yesterday.

Both corners of Marina's lips were attracted to form a smile. But I got sick of seeing that smile. I really want to cut that lip. He lowered his head deeply before his soft words sounded like they were tearing my ears.

" Nearly next year I thought I was the most wicked woman on earth. I have separated my husband from his wife, my son from his mother. Destroying someone's marriage. Millions of regrets clumped in my chest." The woman held his chest. There was dew in his sad eyes. Not to fall, but I'm sure she must be struggling to hold back her tears.

" It turns out, Asthma. You're much worse than me. Fadil we know nothing about the past of the three of us. How can you drag my son in the strangeness of your endless grudges. If you had known the child's suffering, I'm sure you wouldn't have done something like this. He needs you parents. You and Syafrie might be his spirit holding on. "

How dare Marina look at me. Judging me. He thinks because of who my heart is this hard. Deteriorated by himself in the Valley of vengeance. If only there was glass here, I would have told him to look glassy. Who knows, he's so self-conscious.

" No, there's you." I finally threw away my face and passed looking for the figure of Mas Haris' existence.

" He wants me but it's not like he needs you, Asthma. Please..can you and Syafrie make peace? For Fadil? " I stared angrily at Syafrie's wife. How dare he cross his boundaries. Set me up to take back the man he once captured.

" No, we're done. "

I still take my eyes off that woman. My gaze was more sidetracked on the grass in the courtyard beside the puskesmas.

" Even though Fadil is sick? " tanyanya lirih's.

" Fadil's sick? "

'What pain? '

My mouth is cursed. Rather than asking Syafrie, my lips would rather answer "Hmm, of course. "

Marina looks at me who has no intention of seeing her. He then grabbed his sling bag and said, "I hope that God will keep hardening your heart until the end. I also pray that regrets never come to you. Because when you find out what's really going on, then the apology becomes useless."

I stared at Marina's back who was walking away from me. I know, my grudge against Syafrie and Marina has been avenged. I could see traces of wounds in their eyes. But am I satisfied. Of course not. The piece of stuff inside my body was still hot and boiling. Yep.. God, that grudge still burns me.

From a distance, I saw a woman approaching Marina. " Where have you been, Rin? " that's all I heard from that woman's mouth. My stomach suddenly cramped and tightness stabbed the heartburn, after both balls of my eyes were rounded wide with the mouth closed by both hands.

The woman had not yet seen me because her eyes were still fixed on the cell phone she was holding.

" It's your turn in a minute, Rin. I've been looking for you everywhere. It turns out you're here. Quickly in. I was surprised by Si Syafrie, he was worried about your situation, but why didn't he himself deliver a woman with this big belly. "

I guess the betrayal I experienced only came from my husband, my mother, my brother, and my son. In fact I was wrong.the woman who is now standing in shock looks at me, who claimed to be my best friend in the world and the hereafter adds a long row of traitors in the dark story of my life.

Now, the one thing I am absolutely certain of is that nothing in this world is truly faithful.

" Oh my God, Asma.. "

" Hey, I just found out that now you're in office." I said as I stood and fixed my robe and hijab. Saniah was stunned.

" Athaghfirullah, Asthma. You are still alive. "

" Well, it's me. Still alive and fresh. Why, disappointed? "

" O God, Asthma. " Saniah ran hugging. She was crying sobbing. " I thought you were dead, Asthma. I've been looking for you everywhere in Samarinda. Because of my stupidity, I ended up losing my best friend. Because of my stupidity too your family ended up losing you" he said on the sidelines.

I just kept quiet to hear him tell me. I was not touched at all. What's in my brain right now is the fact that my best friend is friends with my big enemy.

" I'm sorry, my turn has come. Excuse me. "I let go of Saniah's embrace. Then stepped off towards the place where Mas Haris was already standing waiting for me.

" Asthma. "he cried out to me, which I did not press.

I kept walking without looking back. I heard Marina's voice speaking to Saniah. I don't know what they're talking about, but all I know is that my ex-friend is no longer yelling - calling my name.

After going through the examination and getting the medicine from the doctor at the health center, we then continued the journey back to the city.

Whether because of the effects of the Marina story or the contents of the WA message from Kak Mansyah, I unconsciously sobbed myself until I finally fell asleep because I was tired of crying.

...----...

Two months after my departure from the village, I received an email from Syafrie. I don't know where he got my email address, but it's clear that the contents of his e-mail were able to tear down the entire contents of my world after I finished reading it.

(Assalamu'alaikum, my wife and the mother of Fadil.

Hi, how are you? We are all healthy here. May God always bestow his love and mercy upon you.the news of our son Fadil, healthy - healthy only. It's just that he used to cry silently - silent because he missed you.

Forgive me for asking your email address to your girlfriend, Haris. He gave me your email address. And I beg you not to be angry with him.

I don't know if you want to open my email or throw it in the trash. But my hope is that you will open up and read it.

I might look so stupid because instead of revealing it directly to you, I prefer to reveal it via email. But you didn't give me much choice.

To be honest, after your departure from the village a while ago, I always ask - ask in my heart. Is he coming back? Do I have to go back to waiting ten more years like I used to? Should I learn to let it go? all those questions filled my head.

Do you know, though I see the thousands of hates that you shed through the radiance of your eyes, yet far away, in the deepest place in your heart, I see that there is still my love that reigns in your heart. That's why I didn't reject your brother's request to ask us to get back together.

I know you've been forced to take me back. Out of spite, you accepted the marriage with the intention of wanting to play tricks on me, even though you yourself ended up trapped in it.

Actually, Asthma. This is God's plan for both of us. Your name is again written in flashes of fate as my soul mate, the wife of Syafrie Mahmud Alamsyah. And you can't argue with him.

Anyone knows, my mistakes with you in the past were huge. I have betrayed, cheated you, and lied to you. What a very unexciting act. I want to make it up to you, Asthma. I think through our second marriage, I can fix all my past mistakes. Moreover, when your attitude that does not reject my attention even though you were sick at that time made me put great hopes on you.

Until that afternoon, the afternoon where you saw me and Fadil with Marina on the beach. I know you're jealous when you see us. However, unfortunately, back because of a misunderstanding, you made your own decision by leaving us without asking me first.

My purpose in sending this email is to explain to you what happened ten years ago, what happened to make me lose my wife and Fadil lose his mother.

Asthmatic...

That afternoon, ten years ago, your father and his father Marina visited my parents' house. I just got home from work and you weren't home at the time. I was of course surprised. How could Father and Father Marina be at my parents' house that twilight. I saw a loud hue full of anger from the look on his Father Marina's face and a cloudy hue on his face.

Asthma, as people say, her sin is adultery chasing you the world and the hereafter. I had forgotten Marina, but not with our sin in college. No matter if I have lived happily with you, the sin continues to follow me.

Marina's father's arrival that afternoon was of course to hold me accountable for ruining her daughter. He wanted me to marry Marina, so that her daughter would not be scorned by society. No matter if his status was only a second wife, the important thing is that Marina has a status and disgrace can be covered.

I of course refused even though I was considered a jerk. I don't care, because I love you so much, Asthma.

But not with Father. Your father Asma, the man I respect for his status as in-law and father of the woman I love so much, knelt down and begged me to marry Marina.

Your father didn't want to see me imprisoned like Marina's father threatened to report me to the police and imprison me even though I was a close relative. He would still have the heart because this already concerned his honor and dignity as the village chief.

I don't really care if I have to go to jail. Than I'm undermining your trust. I'm willing because I don't want to torture you. I love you as sincere as my heart. You are the only woman who reigns in my heart.

However, my father-in-law, the father of the woman I loved so much, whimpered and rested at the feet of his father Marina begging me not to go to jail. Whose heart, the Asthma that will not be broken, sees all that..

That day, for the first time as a daughter-in-law, I cried to see my father-in-law, your father shakily signed a black and white covenant that he wouldn't mind if I married Marina. And she also promised that she and your mama would attend the wedding ceremony of me and Marina to silence the mouths of the villagers. If it's like this. What can I do, Asthma?.

Since then, I have been eating simalakama fruit. I was confused and didn't know what to do. Every day my head is filled with thousands of tons of stones that rain down on my head. I'm afraid to come straight to you telling me all this. Who will guarantee that you will be able to accept all of that.

My head was about to break thinking about everything that was happening. I want to go and take you away as far away as this village. But I remember your parents' fate if I did. Because apparently Marina's father had taken into account all the possibilities that would happen. So that in the written agreement mentioned if I run away, then your father will be the guarantee. Finally I can only give up, Asma.

Finally the day I feared happened too. The day I got married. You went berserk and I had a heart attack. You have bleeding because you have to give birth in the womb that is not old enough.

Everyone is panicking. I left Marina on top of the guarantee. Your father was not helped. He breathed on his way to the hospital. Mama and Darre fainted after hearing the news.We were all shaken.

When other people are busy taking care of your funeral, you are struggling to give birth to our child. That night there was only me and Ammak accompanying you. The trials come back to us. Your condition's critical. You're dying fighting between life and death. The doctor who came to see me gave me two options. I was told to choose between you and our baby.

I was almost crazy when I had to choose. There's no way I'm choosing between you two. All are equally difficult choices. But eventually I had to make a choice. I choose to keep my wife.

The doctor again reported that the operation was going well. You and our baby are safe. It's just that he said that one of the babies wasn't saved. Of course I'm glad to hear this news. It felt like all the thorns in the flesh were all uprooted. There is relief and happiness mixed with sadness. I sat with my body shaking in the waiting room of the operating room. I didn't hear the doctor's explanation. Because my brain is too busy thinking about everything. My twin. It turns out they have two. How is it possible that the doctor who examined your pregnancy did not know if the baby you were carrying turned out to be two. I was angry, played with by fate.

I was angry at myself who was too dirty and filled with the mud of sin. I am also angry with you who carelessly without question first committed a rash action that eventually led to the loss of our baby. I was angry with Marina and her Father. And I'm angry about all this too. The only thing I dare not be angry with is this Owner of Fate. Because only to him I hang the fate of my son and wife who until now still unconscious.