Trapped By The Devil
The True Meaning of Unempowered

Nayla and Azel ran frantically along the hospital hallway. When they arrived at the room, they found their son bowing alone.

Nayla's legs went limp for a moment when she saw Raka's clothes filled with blood.

“Raka...” call Nayla, down.

Raka. His eyes are empty.

Nayla and Azel came closer to their son. Nayla holds Raka's hand. How shocked he was when he realized his son's hand was shaking violently.

“Davina how, Ka?” Nayla could not hide her worries.

“Raka is afraid, Ma...” Raka feels foreign to her own voice.

It was still clear in his memory of all the recent events. Davina was lying covered in blood on the street. Raka is upset and can't think anything. Fortunately he was still able to step out of the car, carry Davina alone and then drive his car with incredible speed.

The Davina was delirious in the car.

“Sa.. kit... ma...” Davina groans softly, stammering.

“Shortly, dear.... briefly.. please endure... please do not stayin me...” Raka moaned. His voice was so tormented.

Upon arriving at the hospital, all health workers immediately took Davina to the emergency room for the first action.

Raka could only resign as health workers pulled her out of the room, then closed the door in front of her face.

Is this how sick Davina was when Raka slammed the door in front of her face last night? But why should Davina be rewarded for her stupid behavior? Raka should be the one in there!

“Davina will be fine, Ka. You are calm yes.” Azel embraces Raka.

He's unmoved. Don't know what to answer.

He knows best what Davina's last condition was. He who saw Davina drenched in blood in his arms. He who saw Davina was unconscious…

And most importantly it was he who caused all this to happen!

Shortly thereafter, Diana and Dave showed up. Their faces were pale. Diana did not even know what to say anymore.

“Davina how, Ka?” ask Dave.

Raka looked at Dave with teary eyes, softly she said, “Raka don't know, Pa.”

“Doctor same nurse says what?”

“Not come out at all.”

“From earlier?”

Raka did not answer. It was like a bitter reality that could not be spoken directly. That there is no certainty at all how Davina's current condition. Because even though he felt like dying right now, it must have been a much more unbearable feeling for Dave and Diana.

Diana just cried in Dave's arms. The man tried to stay strong by holding his wife tightly.

Raka herself had clasped Nayla's hand tightly hoping to find strength there.

“Davina will be fine,” Dave murmured to Diana.

Then Dave also turned to Raka.

“Raka! You also have to be sure Davina will be fine!” dave said to Raka. There is absolutely no tone of accusation and blame. Because Dave realized, this is no one's fault. Everyone who was there at the time also knew clearly that Dave was just convincing himself.

***

The few minutes that passed after that felt like hell itself to Raka. This is the real meaning of helplessness. If only he could, he would want to replace Davina in there.

And finally, after torture after torture that assaulted her mercilessly, a nun came out of the room.

“People Davina Elisabeth,” call the nun.

Raka immediately stood up from his stool. However, no words could come out of his mouth.

“Please enter into the room.” The nurse opened the door to all of them.

“How is my son's condition, Sus?” Diana's voice sounded so agonized.

“Sedang in recovery time. The doctor explained yes.” The nurse directed them all to the front of the emergency room. The doctor was waiting for them there.

“What is my son, Doc?” ask Diana again.

“So we have done a CT scan because there is a wound in Davina's head, but luckily there is no serious injury in that part,” explained the doctor. The whole person breathed a sigh of relief.

“But there was some trauma to Davina's back and legs. It took a few stitches because the wound was wide. It might take a while for Davina's leg to recover."

Everyone instantly felt like they had half their soul uprooted.

“Ka... ki?” Raka whimpered, slowly. No one can hear it. Only his heart felt excruciating pain.

“Take it easy. It will heal with some physiotherapy. However, his recovery time might not be short. Currently, Davina's condition is still unconscious because it had revolted when it would be sewn. So, we love tranquilizers. But, it should not be long ago.”

The doctor patted Dave on the shoulder, “There's nothing to worry about, sir. Davina's gonna heal. Please wait indoors.”

“Thank you, Doc. Thank you.” Dave and Diana endlessly thanked the doctor.

Then they walked into a door.

Raka stepped up with a gontai. His whole life has been lost since. Especially when entering the room…

He saw how helpless Davina was…

How fragile the body is…

How good he is at taking care of Davina…

How foolish he was to let Davina cross by herself…

“Dav...” Diana moans while holding Davina's hand wrapped in bandages. Raka felt her breath getting stifled, especially when she realized that almost the entire surface of Davina's body was wrapped in bandages.

If there was anything she could regret, it was when she first let herself fall in love with Davina. How could he possibly allow this unworthy self to try to love and take care of Davina? The whole of Raka was a failure. Even loving her boyfriend she is no longer…

“Ma..” Suddenly a voice jerks them all.

Davina's eyes slowly blinked. He tried to move his hand.

“Iya, Darling. Mama here..Mama here, Dav..” Diana was already shedding tears.

“Ma... Pa...” Davina stammered again.

“Oh, thank you, Lord, thank you..” Dave is no longer able to hold back his tears.

Davina let her parents kiss her for a moment. Then, his eyes turned around the room. Looking for someone, to save that person from the hell he created himself. He was sure Raka must be not doing well.

And as soon as he found it, he said softly, “Ra... ka..”.

Raka's face was shaky.

In her heart, truly she wished she was still worthy to be Davina's lover, to be a person worthy of being by her side. After all, Raka loved her lover so much. As bad as he is, he doesn't deserve anything...

However, Davina's movement came to a halt. He realized there was something different about his feet.

“Kaki... ku... kena... pa?” Davina whimpering.

“Nothing, baby. There was trauma and some stitches. But the doctor said he would recover with physiotherapy.” Diana tried to explain to Davina.

“Iya, ta...pi bera..pa la...ma?” Davina's tears were slowly flowing.

"Nobody can be sure, Dav."

"Oh, no. no..." Davina whimpers.

Raka could not take it anymore. Davina's whole dream rests on her own feet. How much Davina's heart must be very broken at this time, especially if she knew that her recovery would take a short time.

Raka quietly stepped out of the room. He closed the door, then leaned in there. Slowly hunting.

There is nothing more self-destructive than feeling unworthy and inappropriate.

Raka recalled her conversation with Davina one morning.

“This year must be your year.”

“Not sure anyway..”

“Devni..”.

“Hm?”

“You believe my dream. So, may I believe in your dream also yes.”

Raka felt tight in the chest. His mouth should not say anything! He should have known himself better!

His whole feeling was spilled. The water is slowly flowing. For the first time, Raka did not know what she should do.

What exactly did Raka do?

Raka held her chest and cried in silence. He was as eager as he was without a sound, showing how miserable his heart was at the moment.

Yes, Raka is really grateful that Davina survived the accident.

However, seeing how painfully Davina was aware of the wound on her leg, there seemed to be one sure thing that the universe wanted to tell Raka…

That Raka would never be worthy of Davina...

***