
Earlier this morning, as the sun entered the window of her room, Raka was stunned. He picked up the phone and typed in a message for Davina.
So, this is your choice?
That depression sentence wasn't even answered by Davina until this afternoon. Never reply, not read.
Raka almost crazy. Is this the end of everything? So, what did Davina's gaze mean last night? Why was his beloved woman looking for him in the crowd? If the answer to all this is not him?
Those questions had not stopped swirling around in his head since this morning. Even he had deliberately met his parents to divert his mind, but Raka still returned to those unanswered questions.
“Raka...” Someone calls his name, pulling him back to reality. He looked up and found his father sitting next to him.
Raka did not answer, sat down parallel to her papa, and instead looked back at the rain pouring from the sky.
“Do not lie about your own feelings. You are not okay, Ka,” said Azel, again.
“Raka not lying. Raka knows her heart is broken. Kan Raka has said daritadi.”
“But you don't tell yourself to be sad.”
“Emang should be sad? Time Raka should cry?”
“Papa cry when she broke up with Mama.”
“Yes, it's a whiny Papa.”
Azel scratched his head. It is also difficult to refrain from mopping his son's head. Though he was heartbroken, but he was still like a person who asked to be stoned by the sectarian.
“Iya, yes. Papa is a crybaby. You're great, hotshot. But Papa can tell you're the same Davina why? Didn't you just come to this house a few days ago? Kirain is back there.”
Raka shakes.
“So?” urged Azel, again.
Raka took a long breath.
Hate to admit that it was just a few days ago, Davina still feels warm to her. He said, just wait, holding Raka's cheek.
Does that mean nothing to Davina? Isn't that too cruel? To raise someone's expectations, then just drop them?
“Raka...” call Azel, again, when he sees his son daydreaming again.
“Davina said she would choose last night. If Davina chooses Raka, she will come to Raka's apartment. If he chooses Nikolas, well. That's what happened last night.”.
Finally, Azel understood the story.
“Keep, how are you feeling now?”
“Yeah, heartbroken.”
“Sad? Want dead? Want to kill yourself?”
Raka glanced at her papa.
“Papa tuh want to entertain or even give motivation to Raka to do one of the three things anyway?” Raka nagging.
Azel thought for a moment. Then, laugh softly.
“Sorry, sorry. Wrong huh? Sorry deh. Papa is not good at this. Your sister Rara used to be everyone's tranquilizer. You why not nyamperin Rara anyway?”
“Continue, Papa forgot Rara's sister nginep where?”
“Ah, true too!” Azel laughed, again.
Raka geleng.
Azel patted his son's shoulder.
“You've been with Davina from childhood. Your bond is different. No one will understand it all, other than you yourself–“
“Paaaa! Papa even makes Raka more frustrated, sumpaaaaah.”
Azel laughed, again.
“Bok yes patient. Parents talk don't cut!”
Raka was silent, waiting for Azel to continue his sentence.
“So, the core of this story is..”
“Maybe now you think Davina is the only one. You can't do it without him. But, one day, you will be fine, you will find people who can make you fall in love again.”
Raka's restless. Every piece of advice that came out of Azel's mouth made his heart feel like it wanted to rebel. Other guy? Davina has always been the only one! From beginning!
Raka looked at Azel. He showed his fingers as he spoke, “Decipate from Davina, twice! Sleepin' another chick for Davina's lupain, often! But Raka always comes back to the same place, Pa. Raka always returns to Davina.”
Azel smiled silently. His son is really in love. And heartbreak is so great. Many times, with the same person. How could he possibly bring up the idea of finding someone else, when his son only knew one woman in his life?
“You know what is never true in every breakup you have with Davina?”
Raka looked at her papa.
“You never say a real farewell. You immediately shut down your feelings. You have a problem with Creature, you leave him without any explanation. You're afraid of facing a real heartbreak, Ka.”
Raka's eyes were wide open. How does the father know about Creature?
Azel smiled, “You think why Papa always asks about the state of Creature with you?”
“Papa know where?”
“Rara. A year ago. The time of all your problems has been spun.”
Raka stunned.
“But, relax, Mama you don't know.” Azel.
“Sorry, Pa...” muttered Raka.
“That’s okay, Ka. But let’s talk about it later. This time Papa just wants you to really deal with your feelings. Meet Davina again. If you want to beg, please beg. If you want to beg at Davina's feet, please. Break your heart as hard as possible, as devastating as possible, as great, as messy as you have ever experienced. After that, you can only get up again.”
And…
Click!
Like the sound of an open lock. There was a door in Raka's heart that had been perfectly closed, hidden from the rest of the world, suddenly opened. All her grief of losing Davina, all the pain she harbored at seeing her beloved woman go, a number of longings that can no longer be endured…
Everything becomes very real. Whatever wounds he had, nothing was this painful.
Moreover, now he is faced with the fact that now he has completely lost Davina!
There will never be hope again…
To hold his hand…
Hugging his tiny body…
Loving him so much…
And most of all, loved those ordinary pants…
Raka's tears are pacifying.
He immediately stood up.
“Ra-raka sleep here today!” he said he stammered, then immediately ran away from Azel. He ran to his old room.
“Raka! You why?” Nayla asked as she saw Raka running.
But Raka did not answer. He doesn't want to be seen by anyone. Too embarrassing!
He slammed the door of his room, locked it, violently. Then he threw his body on the bed.
She covered her face with a pillow, but the tears kept flowing.
“Sh*t! ****! ****! Very cool! Bang*at lo, Ka!” Raka kept cursing herself.
In the meantime, it's raining hard out there. Rhythm with Raka's heart which he had just realized, had broken apart. So destroyed.
Why would he want her to open that door? The door that turns out to make it this helpless?
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