Behind the Eyes of INDIGO
Afraid of repeating again

"Why are you silent? didn't you want to tell me something about me?" ask Aldi who came back curious about what Alia will tell me.

"Oh that, about 1 year ago...."

'FLASH BACK TO ONE YEAR AGO'

"Alia later tonight we go to the event together" he said.

His name is Ardian, he was 2 years older than me, he was no longer in school and was already working.

I've known her since childhood and was close enough to her, my feelings for her were also more than just a sister.

Unfortunately... because of his wrong association, he became drunk, his speech became rude and his attitude became irritable.

That night, in the village we held a ruwat earth event, precisely at the village hall. There is a puppet show performed there.

About nine o'clock in the evening I came out, and he was waiting in front of the house, and we said goodbye to my Papa to leave. Both of my parents knew who he was, our family knew him as a child because we were neighbors, so my Papa didn't care if I went with him.

When he arrived at the venue, it turned out to be so crowded, both people watching and traders. Gamelan music has been played, but the show has not yet begun.

When we met another friend, he suddenly left not saying where he was going. He was gone for a long time, until I started to get bored.

At half-time 12pm I decided to go home, because I was already feeling sleepy. He also drove me home. We walked through the night in our very quiet village, as almost all the residents were in the village hall to watch the wayang kulit show.

"Just at this hour, already want to go home alone" he said a little annoyed with me.

"I'm sleepy! you are also bummer! go no more, long time!" I grumbled in annoyance when he left.

"I'm sorry I met my friend" he said, grinning and scratching his non-itchy head.

While I remained silent because I was still upset with her. He kept talking to apologize, but I kept quiet, and I felt like I smelled something.

"You've had your drink, huh!?" ask me out loud.

"No" she replied in a nervous tone because she knew I would be angry if she knew she was drinking.

"Look away! I don't believe in you!" I started to get upset and walked quickly, trying to leave her.

"Alia wait! yes yes I do. please forgive me" he said in a clear tone to me.

I was silent because I was still angry with him, but he kept begging me to forgive him. Until I finally couldn't bear to not forgive him.

"Alia.. I want to say something to you" she said quietly, fearing that I was still angry.

"Say by the way" I answered briefly.

"You don't want to be my girlfriend?" he began to speak seriously.

"No!" I answered firmly.

He was speechless, his facial expression showing a sense of disappointment, slowly he again asked in a slightly trembling tone "why?"

"Because you're a drunkard! I don't like it!" answer me firmly.

"So if I'm not drunk, you want to be my girlfriend?" he asked again but I just fell silent, could not give an answer to that question, because I had put different feelings on him for a long time.

"I promise you, this is the last time I drink, I promise you!" he raised his hand and pointed his little finger at me.

I grabbed it immediately while smiling "this promise is the last?"

"This is for you, I put it on" while wearing a monel necklace with a love-shaped magnet.

"What is this!?" ask me who is still amazed by his attitude.

"This is a sign that you're my boyfriend!" he said with his glee.

"I said I wanted to?" much

"That's what you said" he said, mocking.

Without feeling like we were in front of my house, I went into the house and he said goodbye to leave.

*****

A few days passed, we rarely met because he was busy working. One day, I heard from my childhood friend that that night Ardian and his friend were drunk, I must have been very upset to hear that.

The next night when he came home, I kept quiet and didn't say anything to him.

"You why? how quiet is that?" he asked in confusion.

"No need to pretend! I know that behind me you still like to drink!" I said with annoyance.

"Sorry Alia..."

"Well yes! already know the real temen, still the same with him! or we'll break up!" I cut off his words because I was so upset.

"Well, don't you, when you're dead I'm just because of that rich thing?" he said with a clear tone.

I didn't answer her words, because I was still so upset with her, that she held my hand tight.

"Please, I'm sorry" she kept begging.

"What! sick know!" I tried to get my hand out of his hands.

"This time I promise you won't get drunk again, really" he said very seriously.

"Allah! can't believe! you promised, but what proof!" I still feel annoyed at him.

"I dare to die! I promise you that if I drink again, I will die!" his words began to fret and origin of speech.

I was immediately shocked to hear that statement, suddenly I felt my heart pounding so fast as if it was about to be dislodged.

Somehow my feelings became unpleasant, my heart began to feel afraid, afraid of losing something.

"You are speaking the truth! think first! don't you just talk!" I said with a worried tone.

"I thought, I promise you, if I get drunk again, I'll die!" he said that again, something that made me feel very scared.

"Udah, don't talk anymore! I'll keep your promise" and somehow, I agree to that promise.

"So you're sorry about me, right?"

I answered the question with a smile, and we finally made peace, I tried to drown out my anger at him, he also tried to comfort me and make me smile.

Until it was 9pm, I told him to go home, because it was late, and tomorrow I still had to go to school.