Being late in love
Births...

The day that later arrived, where I began to feel contractions, mules that are rare until mules regularly every 5 minutes.

Soon mas Eko took me to the hospital, after arriving, he called father and mother and father to go to the hospital immediately, and they arrived shortly after Mas Eko called with all the needs needed, brother Hana also came to give me encouragement.

When the doctor checked still opening 3, there are still 7 more openings to be perfect, twin pregnancy is quite risky, but I believe I can give birth normally, I always think positive, I always think positive, there was no crying, no, no,,

Wh why? Because there is nothing to cry about, the name also hurts, so it hurts, God can still be held back, to speed up the opening, I tried to walk, crouch, squat, whatever I can do to divert the pain of mules that come, but can not also, because the nature of giving birth is mules-mules first yes enjoyed it..

Lida:" Doc, still a long time?"

Doctor:" New openings 3, hold yes,,,"

Lida:" Thank God,,,"

Doctor:" Do not read the prayer of the prophet Jonah Lida, so as to ease his labor.."

Lida:" Yes doc,,"

I said the prayer of Jonah in my heart, every step of my foot..

"La Illa ha Illa between Subhanaka Inni Kuntum Minal Dzolimiiin.. Faztaiz billahi minal Syaitonirrajim.."

I walked back and forth in the room, even sometimes I walked in the hospital hallway, yes not far away, afraid suddenly the twins would come out..

I went back into the room, I saw her playin hp, I approached her..

Lida:" Brother, donk's photo... Adudaduha."

Hana:"You've mules-mules still exist ask for photos.."

Suddenly the words of sister Hana made those in the room laugh..

I grimaced feeling an incredible contraction...

Lida:" Sis, fotoin..."

Hana:" Yes it's a cepet style..."

I put on my most beautiful smile by lifting 2 index and middle fingers to form peace... When the count to 3 pas also mules her dateng, so the result is my face that grinned because it felt the mules amazing...

Lida:" Doc...It's still a long time?"

Doctor:" not to mention,,"

Lida:" Try donk doctor check, how many openings are this? It's like I'm gonna pee on this doc.."

The doctor checked and he said it was still opening 7, apparently quite a long time also yes the process, I was lying on the bed, and it was recommended to tilt to the left to speed up the opening, uwiiiiihhh,, if it hurts her wildly ordinary, even my joints can't bear to receive her mules,,

Lida:" Doc, like his son's been out of this,, "

Doctor:" Not yet Lida, do not push first yes, later when it is just the time to make a new precedent, if now strain later Lida runs out of energy,,,"

Lida:" But they've been pushing this doc,,,"

Doctor:" Hold on, hold Lida..."

Lida:" Oh doctor, come out, come out, Allahu Akbar..."

Doctor :" Oh, perfect opening well, the already broken Lida, can help push yes sir her husband, if you can't bear to come out,,"

Lida:" No, let my husband here just doc, let know the taste of giving birth.."

Eko:" Oh dear, I'm not going anywhere, now you have to be strong.mas help here.."

Doctor:" Can push now Lida..."

With all my might I strained, the feeling was almost exhausted, but when the doctor told me that soon I could see my twins in the world, he said, so I got more eager to push back, I gathered my energy again to be able to give birth to my children,"Allahu Akbar.." with a single breath..

"Oweeekk..." Alhamdulillahot... My first child was born, 5 minutes later, I started to feel contractions again, and thank God a second child was born, too,,

It felt so tired, so sleepy, as if I had worked so hard,,

Doctor:" Lida don't sleep, hold her eyes so as not to close.."

Lida:" But Lida's tired of buk times, sleepy too.."

Mas Eko also exclaimed to invite me to tell a story, I hugged my two children who I just gave birth to, but it feels something strange with my second child,,

Lida:" Doctor, doctor, please doc,,"

Doctor:" Why Lida? what's up?"

Lida:" Look at my second child, why is his body blue?"

Doctor:" Astaghfirullah.sister, nurse, quickly prepare the tools... We'll check on Lida's second baby.."

Lida:" Mas, our son why? What's the problem?"

Eko:" Patience, baby, hopefully nothing.. Now that you're calm, our son needs you, too,,"

Sister immediately took over my first child, and cleaned it up, after which Eko mengadankannya.

I held my son, tried to give him ASI as an early learning, but still I think of my second child, I want to see it,,, I just want to see it,,

After my first child was taken to the NICU, I forced to meet my second child, I was pushed in a wheelchair to the NICU room, I saw a lot of wires attached to his body, he said, why child? My inner...

I kissed her, wanted to hug her but couldn't, I could only cry seeing her lying weakly with her blue body, her lips blue, even her nails blue too... Fear struck the heart...

After we got back to my room, and so did my first baby, I hugged her, what a funny little angel, really,,.

The doctor came in and told us that after passing a series of examinations, my second child had heart failure, making her whole body blue..

Like the lightning in broad daylight that struck my hearing, I cried, I saw, my baby in my arms, and I,,

Lida:" Honey, your sister's sick, we wish her all the best..."

I wept, sad, but it was the power of God, I could say nothing more, those who were waiting for me gave me much support and strengthened me, and,,

Eko:" Dear, do not be sad, no matter what happens, it is God's destiny, you must not be too sad, because you still have one more baby who also needs your attention, do not because of your mind can not give exclusive breast MILK, but, if your ASI does not come out later, dear adek can not drink ASI you love..."

Lida:" Yes, Insyaallah Lida is strong, but why can mas? As long as I'm pregnant, there's no sign of abnormality..."

Eko:" I also don't know dear, maybe it has become God's destiny, we never know,,"

This is my second day in the hospital, after giving breast milk to my sister, I was pushed in a wheelchair by my husband, came to see my son who was in an incubator, and I was, I saw him smile at me, I held his hand, saw him hurt like this, my heart was full of sckali, as if there were thousands of needles piercing the recesses of my heart, sick...

"aaakkk.." his little voice seemed to call out to me.. His little hand was holding my index finger.

Lida:" Yes dear,, mother here look adek, healthy yes son, sister wait adek, father same mother as well.. Mommy wants to take a sling..."

As if understanding my words, he smiled and soon closed his eyes, I felt his fingers begin to loosen, deg...... Why these? the monitor shows a straight line with the sound of tiiiiiiiiiiiiitttt....

Mas Eko immediately called the doctor, and the doctor came in with some nurses,

After checking, the doctor said to us, "Innalilahi wa inna divine rajiun..."

The sound of lightning in my heart, right piercing my heart, just now the child who understood with my words smiled at me, now he is gone, I fell silent. Mas Eko tried to strengthen me, so I am not shocked.

Which mother could see her son gone? Which mother isn't sad to see her son gone? Which mother would be willing if her child were gone? No, no mother would willing a child that has just been born should go back to grace, but this has become destiny, nothing can bring him to life again except the miracle of God,

Eko:" Ikhlaskan dear, maybe he is better on the side of the Creator, he is happy there.. What God has left will be taken again by its owner."

Lida:" Yes, insyaallah Lida Ikhlas..."

Eko:" You also have a sister who still needs your attention, do not think too much about losing the sister hadi neglected dear..."

Lida:" Doctor, may I hug my son for the last time?"

Doctor:" Please,,"

The doctor gave me my son who was gone, I hugged him, unbearably my tears flowed down, with no sound I hugged my baby, kissed him lovingly, back I hugged him tightly,, as if I didn't want her to leave so soon, I didn't feel like I was going to, but I had to take my heart off, I held her hand, I kissed her fingers, my son.....

Only 1 day can I hold you, Adinda Annisa... May you be happy there, son, get the best place.. Your father, mother and sister will always pray for you, and,,

I have to be strong, because there is still one more child who still needs my attention, Ayunda Annisa's sister.. In between happiness tucked deep sadness, but I should not be dissolved with sadness, because Ayunda also needs my attention, really said mas Eko, I should not be too long sad."

After 3 days it was stated that I was able to go home, to the house of many who welcomed my return, all my friends, my family, they gave their support to me, each of them, so that I don't feel too sad.

I can only smile at them, my heart is enough I know, my sadness is enough I feel, as much as possible I also eliminate this sadness, because it is vulnerable for the mother to stress.