Deja Vu [ Lilian Ashley ]
14. Again Become Reality

"SORRY, yes, if I can't protect you."

For the first time I saw River put that gloomy look in front of me. His eyes that always display a sharp gaze, even in an instant become cute and teary.

"River, why?" many confusions.

"Sorry, I'm sorry," River responded with a sobbing.

It felt so painful to see him so visibly suffering from a mistake that he apologized for the umpteenth time. The reflex of my hand grabbed her cheek intending to wipe away the tears that had flowed on her face. Suddenly, River began to turn wide and from the tip of his lips drained fresh blood to make me spontaneously smother my mouth.

"Thanks, yes, because you want to accept a rude guy like me," murmured River before he fell lying like a fallen tree. And I screamed loudly, but I realized that not a single sound came out of my throat.

"RIVER!" I shouted who managed to make a sound.

Instead of looking at River, I opened my eyes along with a breath of gasping.

I looked at the area and found my body still lying on the bed. The clock shows at 07:01 on July 23. It turned out that it was all just a bad dream. I made all my thoughts about it and headed to the bathroom to get ready to go to college. As I recall, today's schedule was a fierce lecturer and I couldn't be late for class.

A normal morning without anything strange except the strange dream. Ah forget it, I better focus on activities and busy myself so that all these negative thoughts disappear. Although not entirely.

"Hey, bengong mulu," River scolded as I stepped into the classroom.

His face that gave me a sharp look reminded me of that bastard's dream. Ah never mind, it is just a dream and should not be thought of as a prophecy that will come true. Yeah, that's how my brain got to work.

"Ashley, can you get a double tip on the break room table?" pinta Vin to me and I quickly followed his request.

"Ley, it's a tip-ex, not a double tip" Vincent said, chuckling. Because both mention the word 'tip' and it makes me fail to focus.

"Eh, sorry. Let me get you a double tip." Looks like my brain started to blank all day, fortunately the manager did not rebuke my attitude.

"No need, I bring this," said Megan while offering a double tip to Vin. "It's certain you're dizzy with campus assignments. No papa, Ley. Ask for leave to the manager will be allowed anyway, sana gih."

"Yes, thank you." Somehow today the cafe was quite quiet and we all as employees became brave to sit on the customer bench. River fiddling with the cell phone, Megan chirped on various topics before me. To my surprise, Vin and Kurt spent the kitchen ingredients just for their cooking race. Thank goodness our manager is not as good as before. We may be shouted various nagging until the ears become deaf.

"Ley, let's go get some food" said River, who I didn't realize was standing next to my chair.

The previous cafe regulations were only allowed to bring supplies, but now we are allowed to buy out the cafe within an hour. Of course the manager arranged our clouters so that someone would look after the cafe.

As we stepped out of the back alley, my eyes caught someone spontaneously leaving with a bow that I don't think he wanted to be identified by us. But I know who he is. Again, he was a pale-skinned man.

"We bought dimsum, huh? I think yesterday you wanted to eat dimsum with Megan so messed up because of me," said River who walked next to me.

Boys' footsteps are really so wide that their speed in walking is not on par with girls. I've had to catch up with him many times if I walk together.

"OK," I said briefly.

"Why's your face? Saucepan?" asked River who stopped his steps and looked at me with concern.

"Don't spit, you're already being chased" I'm not happy.

Instantly River grabbed my hand and held it tightly. "This is it."

For the first time I saw this guy smiling. Not a cynical smile or flirting. But a smile that is so sincere and sweet at once probably without him noticing.

Now we walk together that feels so friendly and familiar. I'm sure if this Ashley, aka not me who forgot the memory, will feel so happy because of River's attitude as it is now. Does this guy feel sad about losing someone he loves who is so chatty, considerate and hyperactive that it changes his attitude to me in the hope that the memory will return to how it was? It's probably not me that's going through an accident, but River.

It must have felt so painful when the girl he liked to be rejected many times and now accepted and now suddenly became amnesia alias forget everything about it.

TIN!! TIN!!

Instantly, I realized that my grip had been lost because I was busy thinking about River and did not know about the situation. Now I stand in the middle of the zebra cross that I often pass and along with the traffic lights have displayed the green color marked vehicles are allowed to pass freely.

My heart seemed to stop beating when I felt as a spectator, I saw a truck that was rapidly rushing towards me accompanied by the sound of a horn several times sounding in panic. Again a nightmare appeared depicting a vile incident, but this time, where I was hit. Will I get up in the hospital a second time? Will I survive again?

Before I could move and think clearly, I heard the screams of an order to dodge and only realized when my tail could see River running towards me with panicked tears.

I felt a great shock when River hit me using it intentionally and forcefully until my body was thrown hard to the edge of the road. I don't care about the head being hit on the side of the troatoar, but my eyes can only focus on staring with guts when the stupid guy replaces my position as a victim of a terrible collision. My mouth could only open wide and not be able to let out a shout to express this overwhelming panic. I got up and quickly descended on River, who was lying on the road in a terrible and painful condition. I felt all the gazes on us and some screams of people trying to call for help to stop the traffic.

"Lo's head is bleeding, Ley." It's annoying, when things get worse, it's still worrying about me.

"Riv, hang on, yeah!" It was powerless for me to look at River in this state of severity. I can't accept that there must be a substitute in my denial of death.

For a while, the sound of ambulance sirens was heard clearly in the approach towards us. So busy I asked River to hold on that I didn't realize my tears had soaked my work uniform. Paramedics flocked towards us. My hand was pulled by one of the officers who said that my head wound needed to be treated as soon as possible. River was taken by a gurney with two other paramedics entering the ambulance with me.

"Sorry, yes, if I can't protect you."

My body rippled, my hair bristled when I heard the exact words like a nightmare last night. Everything happened again unexpectedly. What is seen through my brain will all happen in the future. Fucking vision shit.

When we got to the hospital, River and I were separated by different treatments. My head was only treated for a moment and covered with bandages. Thank goodness I did not have a concussion or even worse torn to the point that it needed to be sewn. I begged the doctor to see River's condition, but it was all in vain. I was ordered to rest for a while to wait for River's condition which is still being treated by the doctors.

What the hell does this mean? Today is the twenty-third date, the date that killed me painlessly at that moment. But, if I don't get into an accident today like I did before to take my life, will that destiny be passed on to someone else? No, it's not gonna happen. I'm just scared to always over think like this.

Two hours passed until I was welcome to see River. The doctor said that the hero-associated man had suffered a concussion from such a violent impact, his vision may be impaired because the temple area is severely injured to almost damage the nerves of his eyes and must be sewn because of severe tearing. You crybaby, just hearing what River experienced me until I cried again and again.

I also sat next to the river bed that was lying unconscious in a hand-infused state. Maybe the anesthetic given still has an effect on him until he has not woken up until now. His bandaged head and the wound at the end of his lips were treated even though the marks were still visible to me. I clasped his hand tightly and instantly my eyes widened in great surprise at the thought of something that hit me so hard.

This is my vision. I've seen this situation at a glance when I came home from caffe and sat alone on my apartment sofa. Instead of an oxygen tube attached, there was now just a bandage wrapped around his head. Again, that horrible thing came true.

"Excuse me, ma'am" Call a nurse who came to me. "Sorry, I'll do some treatment for the patient."

Oh, my gosh, I'm being driven. "All right, please."

I better go back to the cafe to ask the manager for permission to come home early and accompany River in the hospital.

I also take care of the payment and go by taxi to return to the cafe. As I thought, some people had panicked at my appearance.

"Lo why, Ley?" asked Vin while looking at my face.

"Jeez, Ashley! Where's River? Chief lo why?"

Before they showered me with random questions, I explained the accident clearly and everyone responded with concern. They helped me to talk to the manager to let me go home earlier than usual. Luckily, I was allowed. If not, I will give a stamp that the manager is a human being who is not human.

By the time I got back to the hospital, River was still closing his eyes. All afternoon I was with him and hoped he would open his eyes as soon as possible. The doctor's base sucks, is the anesthetic dose excessive until the patient in front of me doesn't wake up all day? Even now it is 18:00 which indicates soon the sun will set. It's gonna start at night, and I have to get home before the night predator comes after me. But what about River? Unfortunately, the hospital does not allow anyone to stay overnight on the grounds of accompanying patients.

"Gue go yes, Ver. I hope you wake up after this" I whispered, knowing that River would not hear me.

I set my feet to go and I began to get rid of the worry about the night terrors that might come my way.

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