Doctor Ella Love Story
188. S2 - Lost

Shut up, ' I can only be quiet

When you disappeared

A thousand memories

Sobbing my crying voice

Against reality, my upayak

That last smile

Break my conscious nerves

I have to how

Walk without you

What dayaku

Give me a chance

To hug you again

Hug you again

_Unbalanced-Iwan Fals_

__________________________________

This Friday morning the sky was suddenly cloudy. Right now it is a hot summer. It was as if the heavens were in mourning, as if the universe was in mourning. Delivering the departure of an excellent man to return to face the power. The man who had fought for so long was very persistent against his illness tirelessly.

Jun...Now you have gone to fulfill the divine call. Your work and your role in the world is over. Your heavy struggle is over. You don't have to feel pain anymore. You are free and can smile from there. Well you left with a smile on your lips this morning. Leave us all the people who love and love you.

You are a good person Jun, so God loves you very much. God gave you sickness to take away your sins, like a leaf falling from a tree. Then when you were clean, God called you back to his lap. Hope you have a good place by his side.

Roni tightened her embrace on the petite body of the woman shaking violently, as much as her side. Sari, the girl just kept crying without a sound with a blank look that was very heartbreaking.

Devastated, Roni could imagine how broken the girl's heart was. Sad helpless and desperate to accept the fateful decision that has robbed his beloved. To let Jun go and disappear forever.

Roni and Sari looked at the crowd of people dressed all in white. The people surrounding a mound of earth that was still red in color. With a sprinkling of fresh flowers of roses, jasmine, delicious night, and a lot of ylang to cover the entire part. The last resting place of Jun.

Last night, Roni and Sari went straight to the hospital where Jun used to be treated after getting a phone call from Mother Nia. Once there they discover Jun is already lying in a coma in the ICU, unconscious and unable to communicate anymore of course.

The entire Jun Family present at the Hospital had already shed tears. Realizing that maybe this is the time they have to let Jun go from their side. Give up their grandchildren, children, brothers, nephews and relatives to face the power.

They all gathered in front of the ICU. Because no one is allowed to enter the room. They recite prayers and recite scriptural verses to address Jun as prayers.

And on Friday at about three o'clock in the morning, fate finally showed its decision. Jun's heart rate monitor no longer showed any up and down movement. Straight as a flat line, there was no count of the man's breathing and blood pressure shown there.

Shortly thereafter the ICU doctor told the news of Jun's death to the whole family who had faithfully awaited him outside the room. The news was immediately greeted with a roaring cry from everyone present. Some even fainted to hear it.

Sari felt devastated and helpless to see Jun's entire funeral procession this morning. His chest was so tight, his head seemed to become empty instantly. Blanks... Both of Sari's eyes also felt so hot because there was too much crying without stopping. The flow that he could not contain and flow just soaked the cheeks.

Indeed, as a doctor Sari already knew what the end of Jun's long struggle against his disease would be. Sari has also tried to set the heart if the worst reality can happen. But still as a lover Sari still difficult to accept the message of their destiny. Why are you leaving so soon, Jun?...Missing.

"You want to get close to there?" Roni offers Sari to get closer to the Jun navel. When most of the mourners were gone. There were only a few Jun core families left there.

"Come on.." said Sari briefly. And Roni immediately helped to smash the weak body of the girl to walk closer to the mound of the navel.

Sari took a crouching position beside the navel. Stretching out her hand to caress the top layer of the mound of earth filled with flowers. Stroking was also the marble tombstone that Jun had engraved on it.

Only time can understand

How hard this farewell is

May our love story

It can be a good memory later

Parting with you like this

It made me understand more

How wonderful when we are together

I will always remember

Goodbye, my beloved

You are the love of my life

I lost you, had to let you go

Only prayer can I offer your strand

So that you may be at ease in your eternity

The Jun Family also left the navel one by one to return to the funeral home. Lastly Mother Nia with her husband and two younger sisters Jun also rose from their squatting position beside the navel. Sari also got up with them, throwing smiles at each other before finally hugging each other.

Laili, and Riski, Jun's two younger sisters, first embrace Sari in turn. They exchanged warmth and strengthened each other. Then the last Mother Nia hugged Sari's body also very tightly. Patting Sari's back gently and whispering words amidst the tears.

"Jun is calm there...Jun was no longer in pain...Let him know, son of Sari...Let him go..."

"Yes Mother..." Sari could only agree to Nia's request with tears that were getting louder. What else can try...

"Mother and family are also sincere. Maybe this is the best for everything. For Jun, for the family and also for you." Nia continued after releasing her embrace from Sari's body.

"We must be strong...We have to be strong. Jun definitely doesn't want us to keep crying and grieving like this...No pa-pa to cry as much as today. But from tomorrow we must rise, we must be happy. For ourselves and for Jun as well." Nia tightly grasped Sari's fingers as an encouragement to end her advice. Then the middle-aged woman returned to her husband's side, Jun's father who immediately embraced his wife affectionately.

"We're waiting at the funeral home, son Sari. We eat and rest there for a while. Don't let us get sick later too. Jun must be sad if we grieve too much and mourn for him." Pamit Jun's father before guiding his wife's steps away from the cemetery complex. Their two daughters followed behind them.

Now just Roni and Sari are alone there. Standing facing the still wet Jun navel with flowers.

Roni could see Sari's body falling on the ground next to the navel helplessly. The still wet burial ground stained the expensive clothes he was wearing. But Sari didn't seem to care, All she had in mind was Jun and Jun alone at this moment. Jun is missing.

Roni was helpless and very sad to see Sari who was like that. I wanted to help the girl stand up, support her and give her a backrest. Roni did not do it. Roni wanted to give Sari time and opportunity to talk to Jun a little, with her grave.

Roni could only see the girl crying out wailing while gently stroking Jun's tombstone. A roaring cry to vent all his emotions, spilling all his sadness. Voicing his frustration and helplessness that he had been harboring before many people.

"I hope you're happy to have a woman like me as your lover, Jun. A selfish woman is amazing for not wanting to lose you, a woman who can't let you go because of my great love for you...I love you."

"I'm not as strong a woman as you say, Jun. I'll cry all day because I miss you. I hope you don't regret it even though I'm not perfect. Although sometimes I'm annoying, troublesome, making you uncomfortable with my potent nature."

"Thank you...Thank you for everything you've ever given me, everything you've taught me. You are always there to accompany my maturation process. You're the one who turned me from a spoiled little girl to a grown woman."

Sari was silent for a moment. Trying to wipe away her tears, stopping her crying. It seemed like the girl had managed to complete an upheaval in her heart. And once again Roni could only look at the girl more and more helplessly. Unbearable.

"Now you can go quietly, Jun. You are no longer sick. You are no longer suffering and tormented with pain that will surely make you miserable..."

"And me, you don't have to worry about me either. Thanx to you, the current me can definitely hold on. Even if my heart breaks I will live. I'll be happy for you and for me too..."

"Good way, Jun...See you in eternity..." Sari rubbed Jun's tombstone one last time before getting up from her seat on the ground. Standing staggered over to Roni who was waiting for him.

Roni welcomes Sari, helping to get the girl not to fall. Take her to her car and drive her to the funeral home at Jun's grandmother's house.

Arriving at the funeral home it turns out that Tina and Gatot Hartanto, Sari's parents, and Mahes are already present there. Sari and Roni immediately greeted and kissed their hands as a greeting.

Sari immediately rushed into the arms of her mother and cried again in the arms of her mother. Finding her daughter like that inevitably Tina also shed her tears. How could you try to see and imagine the fate of this very poor daughter.

Then they all returned to sit in chairs that had been arranged and provided for guests who served. Gather together and share the sadness of one family. The other three people like can also feel the sadness and loss felt by Sari at this time.

"Oiya this is Roni, temen Sari and Jun interenship, ma, pa." Mahes introduced Roni to his parents who must have been astonished to see a man with their daughter.

"I'm Roni, greetings." Roni nodded politely introducing herself to the master and great mistress of Hartanto.

"Roni is my underclassman. He also worked at the hospital. Hartanto medica Surabaya. Because he is also Jun's acquaintance, then Sari asked Roni to accompany him to meet Jun...But not even this is how it became..." Mahes explained the reason for Roni's presence there. Afraid that both parents wrongly catch the good that Roni has done for Sari.

"Thank you for Sari. Sorry to bother you to take care of our spoiled daughter." Gatot to Roni. Feeling very uneasy at the young man who bothered Sari.

"No pa-pa, om. Sari and Jun are my friends. So I should have helped a little." Roni replied politely.

"Thanx for everything, Ron. Our family owes you." Mahes this time said. It is in fact Roni who plays an important role this time. Even last night, Roni also informed Mahes when Jun entered the ICU.

Mahes who had gotten a bad feeling immediately informed his parents. Take them to Jogja to pick Sari home. The three of them finally left with the first flight Surabaya-Jogja. How shocked they were when they arrived at the Jun residence turned out to be greeted with a funeral home like this.

"You're welcome, don't hesitate to be friends" replied Roni did not mind.

Their conversation stopped as Laili approached them, allowing them to enjoy a simple meal inside the house. Laili also gave a letter to Sari.

Sari immediately opened the letter in a hurry and read the letter. Jun's handwriting that seemed to be written with trembling hands. Either shaking from enduring the sadness or pain from all over his body.

*For my amazing Sari

Mayang Sari Hartanto's...Saris...

I know you're not mine anymore

But my heart is still tied to you

My love cannot turn away from you

Every day I am haunted by fear

Imagining everything fading away

Gnawing at my time bit by bit

Thinking I'd leave you alone

I blame fate many times

For all the misfortunes that have happened

Blaming life is a joke

So cruel toying with fate

Now I am conscious and grateful

God has been very good to me

Trusting you to be close to me

To give me pain as a bully of my sins

Like the leaves of a fallen tree

I might go missing from you

But my love is still stored for you

Even though we are in a different part of the world

Then do not cry and be sad

Live well and be happy.

Who always loved you

Jun*

Once, twice, three times Sari read and lived the contents of Jun's farewell letter to her. The letter which vividly recounts the man's outpouring of heart. The letter he might have written because he could feel the time was getting closer.

Sari no longer knew what she felt for the sake of reading the letter. All the feelings felt jumbled into one raging within his chest. The surest thing was that her tears were growing more and more flowing like floodwaters were constantly drenching her cheeks.

'Good way my heart lover

Go and take my love with you

Hope you calm down there

I'm here to try to be okay'

~∆∆∆~

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