EXO: "EXOPLANETS"
22

I woke up suddenly, feeling empty.

For days now, I have been having the same dream over and over again. Every time I fall asleep, I dream of losing something precious. However, I do not know what was missing or who took it. I could never find the missing object and I always woke up feeling the same empty feeling. Today is no different.

The feeling of losing something is not foreign to me. It has always been my habit, which is bad. I couldn't help it because I easily forgot where I put my stuff but there were times I swore they miraculously disappeared.

My mother's memory came to my mind. Every time I admitted losing one more of his, he would stop what he was doing and say angrily, 'again?'. Every time he gave the exact same reaction and it made me smile thinking about it. As a parent's job, she tried to be strict with me and said that she was disappointed or angry. So when he scolded me, I would apologize and sneer but he always gave up easily and ruffled my hair while saying that I was fine.

Then, when I finally found what was missing from me, she would continue to nag me because she had already replaced it. I will always feel bad but I also hate her scolding. I felt irritating and I would roll my eyes but now, how I wish I could hear his voice once again. It is sad how people are never grateful for the things they have until they lose them.

I've missed him. I miss my family, my friends and my dogs. Tears ran down my cheeks as I thought, I will never be able to see her again. Quickly removing it, before anyone could see, I closed the grief filling my mind. I knew if I let him in, I would fall into a dark hole, which was almost impossible to get out of.

I always knew I was more sensitive than anyone else. That's how I am, I feel every emotion so deeply. It doesn't matter what it is: happiness, sadness, jealousy, joy, I feel everything strongly.

I remember her comfortable hand rubbing a soothing circle on my back. She told me it didn't matter what other people thought because crying meant I felt something and that in itself was very strong. He convinced me by telling me that other kids might see black and white, but I was lucky because I saw the world in color.

"Son, your emotions are what make you human" he said, cupping my cheek and wiping away my tears. Then he gently smiled at me and whispered so that only the two of us could hear, "let me tell you a secret. If you use this to your advantage, then you will never see it as a weakness again."

My father has always been my number one supporter. Whatever I do in life, he is there on the side line supporting me. He made sure I knew I could be whatever I wanted as long as I was determined and working hard. He was the one who introduced me to dance when I was a kid. He thought it would be something I enjoyed and I did, I fell in love with him.

He told me if I could put emotions into my dance, then I could create something beautiful. Arts. So that's what I do. From then on, every time I danced, I poured my heart and soul into it.

If someone asked me, I wouldn't even be able to describe how I feel about dancing. It's not just steps and movements, it's a way to express myself when I can't speak. It was my passion, my dream and my whole life. But now, it's just another thing taken from me.