EXO: "EXOPLANETS"
23

I swept that thought and tried to think positively. In my time here, I have learned that hope is the most important emotion I can feel because without it there is nothing worth living for. That's my reason for survival. I promised myself again, I would run away, so that I could hear my mother's voice and see my father's smile at least once more.

Although, I could not eliminate the empty sensation from my body and mind. I don't know what that recurring dream means but it feels as if my subconscious is sending me a message. I don't know what and I hate not being able to understand this.

I was also fed up with the constant feeling of gnawing, as if a part of me was missing. Physically, I am fine but more than that. It felt like a piece of my being had been stolen and I needed to get it back. Ever since they placed the collar around our necks causing our strength to dissipate, this feeling of loss became apparent.

I believe it is somehow interconnected. Now we have the power, I think without them we are not completely complete. They are part of us now even though we just developed them a moment ago, something that feels wrong without them.

However, it still feels absurd to me and I don't understand it. How can we really have power? Only with a thought can I disappear and reappear wherever I want. Teleportation. Something I always dreamed of as a child. I think it would be really cool, even more than flying and super speed. By flicking my finger, I can be anywhere I want in the world. Isn't that a dream?

Of course with this ability, I have thought of escaping, too much to count. Technically I have the power to do it but the choice was not easy. There are a lot of factors to consider, I can't just think about myself in this situation. However, I was already desperate enough to try to escape once and after, I never tried it again for the second time.

In reality, teleportation is more complicated than just flicking a finger and going where I want to go. I realized from the beginning, I couldn't go to Fiji because I wanted to. I need to be able to clearly describe the goal in my head, the details for the details. Or better yet if it's somewhere I've made teleportation to the location easier. I could do it without any problem in the room, I would just jump in and out of existence because I could see where I was going.

The problem is, I don't know where I was when I teleported. The place I went, between disappearing and reappearing was something I still didn't know. I call it Nowhere because it really doesn't exist.

The first few times I thought it was just darkness but when I looked closer there was more to it. I realized there were different shapes and objects, but I could not distinguish anything clearly. It felt like I was in another dimension but I didn't know what that meant even when others asked me to expand it.

Another strange thing was, time passed differently when I teleported. I have tested it with Chanyeol, whose cell is farthest from mine and he made sure it only takes a second or two for me to disappear and reappear from my cell to his. However, to me, it felt more like minutes and as if I was traveling through nowhere. Maybe if I was smarter I could handle it but there is no science behind this. These items are usually all fiction and fantasy.

What I know for sure is that this ability can come at a cost and it is not something to mess around with. If I'm not careful there are chances of getting lost everywhere. It almost happened once, when I tried to escape. I wanted to go home but instead I became lost in an unknown dark abyss and I knew I could get stuck there.

I am afraid of what I can do, my potential, but I am even more afraid of what I cannot do. If something goes wrong because I push myself beyond my limits, I will suffer the consequences. I soon realized after one experience that being lost forever would definitely be worse than being locked up here.

*****

A month ago

I've learned while growing up, no matter who you are or where you come from, this applies to everyone: some days are just worse than others. Today on any given day is a bad day, probably one of the worst since I arrived here.

Phase Two trials have just begun and somehow my assigned Doctor has already discovered the logistics and functionality of my powers. I'm not sure how, but I guess this is his job and what they pay for it. Plus, he has a lot of crazy technology to help him and I wouldn't be surprised if he majored in torture methods.

He discovered that when I teleported, my body was not just in one place. Traces of my physical and mental presence were left at both ends of the spectrum: where I teleported, where I wanted to go and everywhere in between.

Today I have been tortured far beyond the limits of my abilities. Usually the pain and the pain is always there but I guess he feels extra cruel. My experiments usually involve torture while in confinement or slavery. Every day they get more creative with the way they inflict pain but the most important factor is containment.

The pain had to be strong enough that I wanted to escape and force myself to teleport. However, restraint holding or confining my body would ensure I could not. Every time I almost tore my body in half and there were moments where I thought I had done it. But it worked, as the days passed I became more accustomed to teleportation and the sensation of my presence spread to various locations.

After going through a series of the most excruciating experiments, I was thrown back into my cell. I had no more energy so I put down the position they left me, lying in a pile. I'm dead and I can't move so I stay that way.