EXO: "EXOPLANETS"
24

I felt empty, as if there was nothing inside me at all. No emotions, no thoughts, nothing. Maybe I was in a lot of pain, I was numb or my body and mind decided to give up and shut down.

This is the first, usually I feel too much but I realize there is nothing worse because when emptiness starts to sink in, so does loneliness. A terrible combination, they thrived on each other and gnawed at me from within.

In my mind, I told myself not to do it because I was afraid to feel this way. My father's words kept ringing in my head, over and over, 'Son, it was your emotions that made you human'. But it didn't work, I've fallen too deep and drowned.

After a while, someone put a hand on my wrist. I didn't bother to look up because under these circumstances, I just didn't care. The man started shaking my body and exclaimed, "Kai, Kai!"

With a different voice and a slight Korean accent, I knew it was Lay reaching out from the cell beside me. Lay is the only one who is not Korean, he is entirely Chinese but he moved to Korea a few years ago because of his father's job. Thankfully, she speaks Korean pretty well but sometimes she still struggles.

Right now, he probably thinks I'm dead and maybe I'm because of that. Immediately, he grabbed my pulse and after examining it he whispered to himself, "he's alive."

He immediately put both hands on my body and closed his eyes. The blooming feeling swept through my entire body creating a soft sensation and I understood what he was doing. Panicking, she whispered, "why isn't she healing?"

"I'm not hurt," I shouted quickly, feeling bad because I made her worry. It was ironic because I said what I had, to convince him but it was a lie. I was hurt, just not physically. Even with his healing abilities, he was unable to help me because of my wounded heart and mind.

Lay breathed a sigh of relief when he realized I was fine. I stayed in the same position but turned my head so I faced it. At the same time, we said 'sorry' and I was confused so I asked, "why are you apologizing?"

"Because even with this power," he said looking puzzled and raised his hand to study it, "I can't help."

After which, he dropped his hand while sighing and his gaze became distant. It makes me wonder what war is waging in his mind. We are all here together but individually we have our own problems and demons to fight against. Each of us has our own regrets that constantly haunt our minds.

Lay's strength comes with the most burden and I know his fear goes beyond his personal considerations. Healing, something very useful. Ever since he developed it, he has patched us one by one, day by day and even though it hurt him and it drained him, he still continues to use it. He never complained once and he always took care of others before himself.

There are days where we will all come back from our bloody and battered experiments, but he will look fine. Tired but fine, so I wanted to know and asked him about it. He told me, every day they would beat him until wounds covered his entire body, to trigger his strength. Once he healed himself, they would continue to do so over and over again.

So, on the outside he looks fine but he's not, we can't see him. As time went on, I knew it was getting worse as they started introducing torture tools and sharp objects, but he never talked about the details.

Finally using my weak body to support myself, I knelt in front of him so I made direct eye contact. Although I was exhausted and my mental state was fragile, I felt the urge to reassure him. I need to tell him that the mistake was not his responsibility. I reached out to hold her hand and said loudly, "you're doing more than enough."

His gaze became more focused now that I got his attention and I continued, "your plants we may all die but you didn't let that happen. Whenever we are injured or injured you have even repaired us when we are outside of physical repair. Here, "I'm tapping my finger at my temple," this isn't something you can fix, it's none of your business to do it. My heart and mind have been shattered by what they have done for us and I will never be the same again but it is my pain, not yours. "

Tears ran down Lay's cheeks and he didn't remove them, he let the pain show. My heart aches for him because I can tell him his internal suffering, he feels the same as me.

"You need to stop worrying about us and worry about yourself because I see it. The mental tension you put on yourself when we get hurt. It's not your fault, it's the monster that locked us in here. So don't ever apologize for something like that again because it's not your burden to bear. We're brothers, okay? We're together and we're gonna take what we can't, "I finish and give her hand one last look before I let go.

She whispered thanks, it was barely audible but I could hear the sincerity in her voice. I know that's what she needs to hear and I'm glad I can comfort her. I retreated slowly and fell into the wall, using it for support. We didn't talk after that, we just sat quietly and I started to sink into my mind.

In my time here, I realized that I had become too fearful without fear. I was so scared of what they were going to do to me, but there was nothing to fear because they had taken everything away from me. Sometimes I feel as if I can't remember what joy is because all I feel is pain. If it wasn't physical it was mental, I'd have been pushed to the limit and furthermore I would have rested.

I could already feel myself cracking under the pressure, I just waited as I was smashed to pieces. Today I am close. They had tortured me so strongly that I became desperate to escape. So I had teleported because my mind was spinning in various directions causing my body to tear in the same way. I think this is the end, I won't be able to reunite my body.

I knew that this would only continue until they tore me apart. I could feel death waiting for me and honestly, I was ready to go. I don't care anymore. I have nothing, what else can I lose? I became more and more desperate the deeper I fell into my all-dark mind.

That's when I decide now or never at all. I will do it, I will run away. I got settled and started planning. If I want to succeed, first I need energy and maybe a break.

Dawn will be a good time, when everyone is sleeping. What about the others? I couldn't possibly take them, I could barely control my strength and I never tried to move anyone but myself. I don't even know if it's possible.

I obtained that the best option was to escape and after I would find them and save them all. I'll come back for them and I'll burn this place to the ground but I don't know how. I kept saying to myself, I did this for them but deep down I knew my motives were selfish. But I'm too desperate to care. Selfishness and greed will always be the downfall of mankind but this is for my survival.

After eating regular chicken breast, steamed bread and vegetables, I fell asleep. When I woke up I was drenched by the nightmares I had. I can't remember what happened in the dream, but the fear made my mind aware and I should take it as a sign of what was to come.

I looked around, trying to let my eyes adjust to the dark. Judging by the light snoring and deep breathing, everyone fell asleep. It's time.

I closed my eyes and imagined my home in Suncheon. I thought of every little detail I could do: the creaking front door my father promised but never did, the family portrait hung on the wall, my display dance trophy displayed in a glass cabinet, the statement said, my sister's diploma in coat, whatever I can think of, I do. Next, I imagined my family: the good eyes of my mother, the caring smile of my father and the protective gaze of my sister.

My body began to transition, preparing for the jump and I felt relieved it worked. I closed my eyes tighter and I clenched my fists hard, pushing myself beyond any limits. Since I don't even know where I am at the moment, I don't know how far I'm trying to travel. However, I knew it was a very long distance to Suncheon because I could barely sense the existence of the place I called home. I gave it a final mental boost and eventually, I disappeared.

When I opened my eyes again, I didn't know where I was. It was dark but there was brightness shining from somewhere. I looked around, turned my head in all directions and strangely it felt familiar. I felt light and realized I was floating. I screamed in annoyance at the lack of gravity and my limbs started flailing as I tried to calm down. There was a nauseous feeling growing in my stomach and the hairs on my arms rose. Whatisthis? Where'sme?

I try to find clues around me. Although I saw the formation and formation of objects, I could not distinguish anything clearly. Finally, click and I realize I'm somewhere in between, Nothing. I have traveled through this place several times but it has never been like this.

Mentally I reached out and I felt most of my presence had been teleported here but there was still a piece left in the prison cell. What am I supposed to do now? I tried teleportation but nothing happened. I'm stuck. I tried everything I could possibly think of, even teleporting back to where I came from, but nothing seemed to work.

At this point, I think hours must have passed, I'm not sure. Time does not seem to be a concept in this place. Suddenly a bright light flashed, disturbing the darkness and scaring me. I headed in that direction as best I could, swimming in the air and pushing myself forward. This must be what it feels like in space. Although, my breath was fine, so I concluded that there should be oxygen but no gravity. This place doesn't make sense.

The light turned into a small ball and I grabbed it out of curiosity. Instantly, a huge portal seemed to open, surprising me. I've never seen this in my life before. Is my strength growing? Maybe now I can teleport using another method. That doesn't seem right, because I believe this creation is not mine.

The portal was transparent so I could see through to the other side. It was ripples and crooked pictures but I could recognize the place with my eyes closed. It was back in prison, where I came from.

I realized, the light had shone from Baekhyun's hands and now, the others were up and moving. From their body language I could tell they were panicking. A hazy shout sounded from the other side of the portal and although it was difficult to get out, I could say enough, they were looking for me.

I am human, so I am disabled. I made a mistake but I can fix it, it's not too late. I desperately grabbed the portal to teleport myself back but it instantly disappeared after my skin touched. What the hell just happened? Why is it missing?

Suddenly, I started to fall. I screamed all the way because I was afraid for my life. At this moment, I will die when I touch the ground. All my bones will be crushed and I will be a splash of body mass. I clenched shut my eyes waiting for the impact but instead I suddenly stopped.

I opened my eyes and realized that I was hovering a few inches off the ground, it felt like the air had caught my fall, how could it be? Suddenly I fell down, my back hit the concrete and I grabbed my chest trying to calm my thumping heart. The adrenaline ran through my body overtaking all my other senses and I took time to breathe deeply. When I finally calmed down, I sat down and looked around me. I was so busy, I didn't even realize where I was. I'm at home.

I walked to the front door and pushed it open, the creaking sound I knew warmed my heart. I smiled at the fact that my father had still not fixed it. I walked along the hallway to the noise in the kitchen but there was something strange, different.

I stopped and checked the photo sitting on the table. I remember this was taken on Christmas Day last year, when we opened the gift. We were all wearing festive pajamas and it was a fun picture, which we all laughed at.

However, in this version of the photo, I cannot be found. Confused, I checked the other photos and I realized it wasn't there. Somehow, I've been moved.

I walked towards the lights in the kitchen and when I entered I saw my family sitting at the dinner table. They talked and laughed while eating food cooked at my mother's house. I smiled at the happy shadow and tears fell on my cheek. I miss them so much and just to see them again is a gift.

Slowly I walked but strangely no one noticed me. For a while I put a hand on my father's shoulder and he looked up.

"Who are you?" he asked and my heart stopped. Who me? I am his son. Does he not recognize me? With no control over my power, I teleported to where my mother was sitting and my family looked at me in shock.

"Who is he?" my sister exclaimed with a horrified expression.

"It's me, your son!" I said desperately while grabbing my mother's hand.

"But I don't have a son," he murmured confusedly.

His words were like a knife in the heart and there was nothing but silence as it echoed in my mind. He let go of my hand and I looked at the portrait of a happy family where I was lost, where I had been erased.

Suddenly the sight flashed before my eyes. My father wore, his frown lines deepened and he looked old. My oldest brother shed tears on his face and sadness filled my mother's eyes. I saw him holding a picture in his hand, accidentally squeezing it, but I thought he didn't care. I looked closer to see it was my picture.

Is this real? Am I shown the reality of my family being devastated after losing their only son and brother? I don't know what else to believe, it's too confusing. I saw the photo in my hand once again but this time I was in it.

Then I looked back at my broken family once again and sadness filled my heart. The photo slipped out of my hand and the glass broke when it touched the ground. It was suddenly dark again. The scene had vanished, everything was just an illusion.

This place is playing me. I screamed in frustration and grabbed my hair. Where was I just now? I strayed. I have to go, to get out of here because I'm going to be crazy from this scam. This cruel, I was shown happiness which was then destroyed with deceit and reality.

I want to see my family, I want to see their smiles and hear their laughter, but I want it to be real. What I want is impossible, I have tried to go to them and finally I got here. Is it karma to go away, to be selfish?

I thought about what I had done and the betrayal I had caused. We said we were together but I left. I am weak and pathetic because although I have lived through hell, others have also. I think about the moments we have shared and I feel worse about the situation. I am a bad person and I don't deserve the friendship they offer.

A kaleidoscope of memories flashed through my mind: the time we laughed and the time we cried. We joke together, tease each other and when we are sad, we try to support each other. We ate together, slept together and fought together. The times I shared with these people, I could call brothers, meant something. The fact that we each have this gene and now have this power, means something. Fate has brought us together and I can't just leave them.

I closed my eyes once more and I felt a trace of myself left in the place where I teleported. There is hardly any presence left, I will be stuck here forever. I reached out and grabbed the last piece as if my life depended on it. I pushed my mind hard at the force that tried to stop me from going and pulled from the power deep inside me, letting it build up pressure. When I almost lost control, I decided now or never and I jumped in with everything I had.

A light shone on my face and I opened my eyes narrowed at the brightness. I heard a drag and sound of Baekhyun breaking through the silence, announcing, "he's back."

*****

After that, I never tried to escape again. I have learned my lesson and become afraid of the unknown. I shouldn't push myself over the line when I don't know what I'm doing. I never want to be stuck between time and space again.

I hate feeling confused and now that's all I feel. Others also feel the same way, that something is not right. After they placed this hideous collar around our necks, a part of us had been taken away along with our strength. My instinct is to say that without our abilities, something bad would definitely happen. I don't know if this warning is trustworthy but what I do know is that we have to find a way to get our strength back and fast.

After giving us food as usual, they took us to the training center. As we walked down the gravel path to the big building, I saw blood on the ground, realizing it was ours and it had not been swept away.

Memories of our escape flooded my mind: I remember how I had teleported and hid near the van, waiting for others to catch up but they never did. I remember the despair I felt as I watched the scene unfold as we all fell one after another and when the guards finally caught me, I have fought against their restraints and refused to follow their orders. Shaking my head, I tried to clear those bad thoughts from my mind and I was brought back to the present.

Today, instead of taking us to the gym, they led us through the building and back outside again. There was a huge track field where they made us run, until all I could feel was burning my lungs and the pain in my muscles.

After we did the weight circuit and they intensely drilled us with constant yelling and whistle sounds. We did every exercise imaginable and in the end, I was completely exhausted and every muscle in my body was sore.

They started to triple the amount of our meals, but it was always plain bread, steamed vegetables and chicken breast. However, food is food and I need it to survive so I try not to complain too much.

This is actually a luxury because until now we have become malnourished with just one meal a day. Although, I had a hunch they fattened us up for slaughter and it made me uneasy but at least I was full.

After that, all we did was train. Every day is something different: weights, cardio, combat, and all sorts of weapon training. They are serious about their intentions because I feel them too. I became a soldier, a weapon. My body slowly changed from a boy who had just become an adult to a man with muscles and strength.

Every day I learn something new and become faster and stronger. It was difficult at first but now it has become routine, I actually really like it. We have something to do, a purpose and we don't just rot in our cells surrounded by darkness. Plus, this was much better than daily torment.

They haven't removed our collars and we haven't used our powers for a while. The empty feeling was still there, but as time went on, I became used to it.