Forced to Be an Actor
The Greatest Fear

Me and everyone else immediately circulated their gaze throughout the hallway of this hospital, but could not catch the figure that Liora had said. I saw Mas Sadam and Papa Damar staring at each other with an illegible highlight. Mama Elsa said that Liora must have been wrong because what is Tasya in this hospital for? Papa Damar also tried to convince me that it must not be Tasya while Liora herself felt sure if she did not look wrong earlier but, Mama Elsa gave an explanation to him until Liora was silent. After saying goodbye to me and Mas sadam the three of them moved away from us to go home.

When the shadows of Liora, Mama Elsa and also Papa Damar had disappeared from my sight immediately I stepped towards the door to see the state of Graceful from this transparent glass. The fear crawled back into my heart when I saw Anggun still lying with an oxygen hose attached to his nose, I could lose everything in this world but, don't be Graceful. The sound of footsteps could be heard approaching without turning my head I could understand if it was Mas Sadam. Now that the man standing behind me was looking into the room Anggun was in, He put his hands on my shoulders and then turned my position to stand until you faced each other.

"Let's sit down first, you must be tired" he said, wiping away the tears that had escaped on both of my cheeks.

"Mas, I want to stay here so I can see it all the time" I said in a raucous tone of voice.

"The dragon will not like it if He wakes up and sees your condition like this" he said with full confidence in me.

Mas Sadam was right, Anggun never liked to see me win.

***

At 22:00, please,

I am still sitting and leaning my head on this stainless chair, I can't wait for tomorrow to see Anggun wake up from his sleep and at that moment I will hug his little body and then kiss the top of his head. I have prepared a series of questions that will later have to be answered by him however, when Doctor's words re-echo in these ears I undo my intention to say all the things that made my heart unsettled when my little girl woke up later.

“Honey, let's have dinner.” Mas Sadam sat beside me while opening a pack of fried rice that he had bought from the front of this hospital.

“Later you will be sick, darling we should eat together,” he asked me. I looked directly at Mas Sadam's tired face and then I remembered that since coming home from the office the man had not eaten anything, He must be very hungry and I must not think of myself.

“Alright,” sahutku while confirming this sitting position. Mas sadam fed me with a spoon of fried rice mixed with chicken that had been sliced thinly by the seller. After making sure if the fried rice has been cold then Mas Sadam feed me. I saw her bead eyes staring at my heart and also saw my disheveled condition, these eyes must look swollen with panda eyes that made my face even more gloomy now, water now, really I feel tired but somehow still can not close my eyes.

Mas Sadam fed Me and then I took turns to feed him until this food ran out with no leftover, Mas Sadam gave me a pack of iced tea and he also helped me drink it, I finished half the plastic iced tea, I finished the iced tea, and without I thought if Mas Sadam drank the rest casually even the man did not mind drinking the rest of his wife. After this stomach filled I began to feel drowsiness surrounding my eyes, but as much as possible I opened these wide eyes so as not to fall asleep. Mas sadam saw me yawn a few times and then the man told me to put my head on his thigh so I could sleep, I refused him while shaking my head slowly however, Mas Sadam didn't care if he pulled my hand and held this head and landed it on his thigh.

“Sleep, I'll take care of Anggun. You don't need to feel anxious.” I saw Mas Sadam looking at me seriously even the man's hand was also gently rubbing my hair.

I stared straight ahead with tears still dripping even though it had started to fall infrequently, gradually this vision began to blur and I felt that the eye was starting to feel heavy until I began to enter into the dreamland of letting Mas Sadam keep Liora alone.

I began to open my eyes when listening to the sobbing sound of a woman kicking into my eardrum to wake me up from dreamland, I rubbed my eyes while still putting my head on my husband's lap. I saw a middle-aged woman who was older than Mama Elsa crying while walking behind the bed of the patient who is now being pushed uh two sisters. I saw the middle-aged woman just keep calling out the name of a man who I believe is the name of someone who was in a white blanket wrapped around her body - the man was dead.

The deg!

I clasped my hands tightly, the fear that had disappeared was now re-spreading all over my body what if it reached such Anggun? Then what am I doing?