The Tarnished Holy
15 Carats ?

For a moment I froze, but then I soon gained self-control, thrusting my hands and greeting Abah Nafisah. "When did it come ?"Ask mr. Kyai on the steps to the mosque . "Recently, kyai sir !" I regretted answering her question so nervously .

"Where is my mommy ?" He asked again .My brain was parched for a moment, feeling that what I was thinking didn't match what was happening .

"s-i myself Mr. kyai .Mami's both papi don't come, m-maybe they have some business !"Answer me again . And for a moment I was stunned when I saw him smile .

Smile ? I really didn't see wrong, did I ? After what I've done, destroyed and pregnant his daughter, how can he really still smile at the culprit ?

When even my own family put on such great disappointment while he ,greet , smiled ,What kind of character is this? why did I just find someone like her ?

We went hand in hand, there were some people who got out of the way when we were about to pass through the already filled shaf .And I decided to stop to take the last shaf.

"Son Fikhar, why here ? Come on in front !" Say Mr. Kyai as soon as I just stopped following his steps .

"No kyai sir, thank you .But I'm here only !"Answer me politely .I just learned the prayer yesterday from the guidebook, and I feel unworthy to be in the front row . I remember my whole life, I've never been in the front shaf , especially when I was a kid I was so naughty, and they chose to keep us apart in the back .

"Come in front !" He grabbed my hand then guided her through the line . We can be sure from the tail of the eye, our arrival invites attention, and for the first time I feel uncomfortable being the center of attention .

"Come, son of Fikhar is the priest !" He said as soon as we got to the front row.

"No-no kyai sir !"Deny me quickly .That's right, did he just make fun of me .There is no way, he pretended not to know I was a delinquent.After he knew my actions and what I had done, all four of them I he told me to be a priest .It doesn't make sense !

At the end of the day, a young man called Nizam by Pak Kyai came forward to lead our Maghrib prayers . Actually, I pray in an uncomfortable position considering Abah Nafisah right standing next to me .I'm ashamed because my sahalat movement must be far from perfect .

But, as soon as the prayer began I no longer cared about anything .I dissolved with the reading of the letter that the man read.The sound is so melodious that without feeling these tears fall .I regret this because I just realized that prayer is beautiful..

***

We disbanded after the isha prayer was finished .Not disbanding exactly, we moved to another building . "Son Fikhar, come with us !"I froze, when this pair of neutrals came into view with the person in front of me . Papi , from when it was here , walked in tandem towards me.

"Yes, mr. kyai !" I nodded while looking down deeply as soon as I saw Papi staring at me meaningfully .Somehow the 'don't be embarrassed' gaze implied so clearly there. "Fikhar, mami is waiting for you where we parked the car!" Papi makes a sound while patting my shoulder .

I was amazed, to fall into silence before Kyai Hashim opened the voice "Meet me, we will wait for you here !" Kyai Hasyim reviewed the smile while nodding convincingly.

There is mbak Vena, looks beautiful with her pink hijab. "Papi said, Mami is waiting for Fikhar here !"I asked after previously had time to kiss his hand, Vena also .

"Are you ready ?" I frowned, failing to realize what my mother had just said .For whatever sake, I don't understand 'ready' in terms of what you mean.

I looked for Vena's eyes to ask for an explanation, but my only brother pretended to be indifferent and cool to his food .

"It!" Again I was astonished by what my mother told me .A small blue paper bag.

"I'm waiting for Kyai Hashim as papi !" . My words tried to put an end to all this, but no doubt, This hand received what my mother gave me .

"Yes, go !"

This woman I love seems to stretch her arms .I then grabbed the body "I'm sorry Fikhar mam !" I regretted kissing the top of his head.

Mami nodded in her arms, but she still did not want to let go of her "Mami dear to you Fikh.Whatever happens, do not ever feel worried because mami and papi are behind and always support you .Be happy, because you always want the best for you!" His whispers rau .

My tears pierced sharply .No words can come out for me to say .I nodded my head a few times that I understood my mother's words .

"Don't forget, Fifteen carats !"

I then let go of our link and looked at him with a gaze asking for an explanation .

"Mami I mean ?" I'm confused.

"Go ... Didn't you say you were waiting for someone!" Instead of answering , he pushed my body slowly.I looked at him in confusion while he only nodded while giving a smile ..

"Go, mami wants to see Ustdzah Nafis first !" Dismissed while I was only pecking for a few moments, before I finally left as my mother had said .Of course , along with a small paper bag that I don't know for sure what it's about .It's a surprise, and it's not what makes me take notes in my heart to open it up after the study is over .

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