The Tarnished Holy
Nightmares

Half my consciousness caught the sound of screaming, I tried to remember what happened and in the rest of the drowsiness that attacked my eyes widened. I was fully aware that the scream was coming from my wife's room.

As fast as I could, I ran then opened the door and lit the light .I exhaled slowly, as soon as I found out he had calmed back down with the rest of the lightness flooding his forehead .

Nightmare again ! .My heart aches to get this reality . I looked up, found a new clock showing at two o'clock, again still too late .I exhaled slowly before I touched and wiped the sweat on his forehead, and then I gave him a short kiss .

His eyes opened, then grabbed my arm very tightly .I know he's scared and not so aware of what he's done .

"I'm having another nightmare !" Said with a troubled look .I scattered myself, then hugged in my arms. It's okay, let her hear my crazy heartbeat just because it's close to her. I want her to know that I love her, love her so much!

"Nothing, just a dream !Everything will be fine !"

He sobbed in my arms .I know, after this he will be difficult to close his eyes again until the morning greet with recitation do'a and dhikr which is often heard .

"Hasbunallah wani'mal deputy,ni'mal Maula wani'mannair"

Like that 'barely every night and that's what makes me barely sleep all night watching him .My heart aches, feels in the brink of such a deep wound when remembering this all .Really, I don't know what I've done could have left this kind of trauma in his life .

"It's okay ...Everything will be fine saia!" That's the only word I can say .There is no more.! Although I'm not sure I can calm him down, but...Wipe my hand on her back I hope to make her calm again .

"You want some wudhu ?"

No sound, only a subtle snoring is heard .I'm grateful, it's usually rare that he can go back to sleep like this .

I took off her embrace slowly, then kissed her forehead slowly .I will not leave her again, so I decided to pray in her room tonight.

He said, there are several sets of circumcision prayers at this hour, he said at this hour can penetrate the sky door, but I do not really understand the circumcision prayer .My wife said, if I still have not finished the qada prayer that I have left for almost my entire life, I am forbidden to pray circumcision first. So , never be surprised with me who often pray twice , all that I do to replace what has been left behind ...

Should I regret it ? No, I am so grateful even though it is too late but God allows you to stop by in my life.

He said, "Both bad our lives are determined by the end of our lives. To anyone, try to always be kind enough to think, because sometimes what we always consider despicable succeeds in bringing faith in his return." My tears often spread when I remember what he said at that time, I hope ... Allah gave me a beautiful death, I hope Husnul khatimah I will achieve, and faith will not be at the end of my breath.

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"Did you bring my son-in-law here ?" That was the first question my mother asked me as soon as she finished answering the greeting . The sound of a slipper blow was heard from above running down the stairs . Mbak Vena, habit , if you have been silent at home for a long time, you must be reluctant to return to Jogja.

"Fikhar, are you really alone ?" Ask Ma'am Vena, as soon as I shake her hand. My heart is hearing all this .Why don't they understand that our relationship isn't as good as they think .Didn't they fully realize that our marriage took place on one fault ? My eyes were hot, with a force of holding back the cries, for whatever reason this sounded painful in my ears.

"Understand mam , Nafis is pregnant and she is in the first trimester phase. Almost every day he spits out everything that goes into his stomach, and I don't have the heart to bring him here !" Say it while I lay my head on the sofa . My eyes reach out to anything , to avoid the intimidating look of my mother.

"I'm hungry.Mami knows that this handsome mama's son is coming home, don't say mami forgot my favorite food !"I tried to avoid , would rise to leave the family room that feels gripping , but not when the hand mami clasped my clothes firmly, and pulled my body to sit back in its original position.

Ma'am Vena, combine yourself then sit right opposite to us . " Did Nafis forgive you ? Fikhar, my mom has been worried about you all this time and my mom doesn't dare to come there for fear of disturbing you, and seems to interfere in your household !" Mami said as she looked at me with a perfect curious twinkle .

"He taught me a lot of things .She's beautiful, and she accepts me as her husband !" I said as it is, there is no reason to lie because it feels useless.

"Fikhar, you didn't answer Mom's question !"

"Oh my God, I have answered mam !"My words did not understand, then my hands were open to grab the package of food in the hands of the Vena "Bak did not realize yes, mbak body more stretched !"I said with a wide grin .He just resigned, like his more interested in our conversation .

"Fikhar, don't be kidding.Mami is talking seriously with you!" The solid .

"What else is mam ,?"I complained while chewing on the chips I just put in my mouth .And I know , he'll continue like this if he hasn't got an answer to his curiosity.

"I want to rest first mam , let's talk later. Later, I'll tell you everything you want to know !" I end ,married mom with ******breathing pass-by .I'm not completely free from the snare of the question that sometimes makes my eyes hot, 'cause the Vena is currently walking after me, right behind me. And I can never cover it ,if you have dealt with this woman.

"So how did 'Ustdzah Nafis forgive you, right?" He asked curiously, exactly as I thought. His eyes sparkled, staring at me with a gaze ready to listen and I just sighed* resigned then, stepped my feet towards the sofa in my room .

"You know the answer !" I answered while holding my body and then sipped the water I had taken from the refrigerator.

"Yet?" He said still with his high curious twinkle .His body is thrusting, forcing me to shift in order to give leisure to his large body .

I took a breath for a moment, then looked at her with a serious look. "Fikhar doesn't know !" My eyes began to heat up as I spoke, my heart aches, for whatever reason I need strength for my struggle .

"are you sleeping together ?" Her question, this time a doubtful tone of voice was heard clearly there.I know she was afraid of making me offended at her question.

"We're used to sleeping one bed !" Answer me while staring at her glance . Said if there was any.

"In the quotes ?" His Search .

"Not yet !" Reply slowly. " He still cries a lot, his body still shakes when I touch him !"Kelpus .My tears pierced sharply, those words even sounded pain in my own ears !!

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