Why Should I ?
Calm down

"Where are you going Ram ?" Mother was moved to Rama who was busy preparing an old motorcycle in the yard. With her head outstretched and her body tightly covered in a jacket, Mother Rama tried to refrain from looking in pain in front of Rama.

"Rama's going to lek bu's house. Maybe some days, Rama needs some calm. " Rama answered without seeing Mother. I don't know, since yesterday's incident his attitude seemed cold to his mother. In fact, he had time to wash his mother's feet and gulp the laundry water. He also knew that his mother was not feeling well. All because of the burden of thought that Rama gave him.

"Be careful, le. " That's all I can say. Framed with a slick smile that he handed sweetly. His pale face looked more beautiful than usual. Stupidly again, Rama didn't care that. His thoughts were only Kinanti at that time, various plans he arranged for the woman. From vile things, and sweet ways he was eager to try.

Slowly the motorbike started to go. Walking the road that is still flat with rocks. Through, through the forest and the great streets. The house of Rama's mother lek is at the foot of Lawu mountain. It took a long time for Rama to get there. Especially with an old motorcycle whose path is very slow.

Sadness does not stay at home. It still carries over wherever Rama steps. Along the way, he was endlessly crying. No matter though there were spies staring at him in wonder. No matter the gender, he should have looked stronger than Kinanti, but in fact he was very weak.

Almost an hour, Rama finally arrived at his mother's house. His arrival was welcomed warmly by a woman whose face was very similar to Rama's mother. Her smile was warm, bringing calmness to every pair of eyes that found.

"Assalamualaikum ma'am lek..."

Rama stretched out his fingers, which were immediately welcomed by the mother lek. He ducked, kissing the back of the hand that began to wrinkle politely.

"Wa'alaikum greetings, son. How are you le ?"

"Alhamdulillah, healthy mother lek. "

"Come, come in..."

Bu Lek embraces Rama lovingly. Like a mother and her own child. That was the attitude of the sister of Mother Rama, he always considered his nephew like a child he gave birth to himself. The way he spoke was also very soft, even better than his own children.

After talking for a while, mother lek said goodbye to prepare food. Ranti also helped him. While Arya, she still works outside and has not returned home before the afternoon step. In fact, sometimes until night.

As was his custom at home, Rama refused to take his own food. Someone must be patient in serving food to her. Rice, complete with vegetables and side dishes, then he will eat it greedily.

There is a feeling of pity that arises in the heart of Ranti and her mother lek. Seeing Rama eating voraciously, they guessed the time Rama wasted decades yesterday just to serve his ungodly wife. Rama is rarely fed, especially if he is working.

As in his own house, Rama did not hesitate to do any activity he wanted. Bu Lek and Ranti, also Arya who just arrived at the house understand the condition of Rama.

***

A few days later.

"Hiks...hiks...hiks..."

New time shows at 03:00 in the morning. Arya who heard the sound of someone's rushing voice immediately woke up from her sleep. His heart was pounding, as the sound of sound grew louder and louder. People should still sleep at that hour. Ranti also looked slender beside him.

"Mas Rama ?" Tegus Arya to Rama who was sitting on the sofa in front of the television.

Miss Lek who was also shocked to hear cries and screams, immediately came out of the room with eyes that were still heavy to be invited to wake up.

"Enek opo to Ram ?" said ma lek gently. He turned on the lamp and sat down next to Rama.

Rama was late in his tears. Tears that are shed can no longer be hidden. The sadness that was portrayed there, was already hard to remove from the bottom of his heart.

"Bu lek, if the wife is ungodly with the husband is a sin, right ?" rama asked with a sad face. His tone was like a child, who was pleading the defense of his parents.

"Yes Ram, sin...."

"If the wife is brave with the husband is also a sin is not it lek mother ?" rama asked again, without turning his eyes and changing the way he asked.

"Sin Rama. Wes, iki isuk, let's go to bed !" buu lek's.

"Bu Lek, I'm going to Surabaya again, I'm going to kill Kinanti. "

"We're talking opo to Ram ! "

"She's been disobeying mother lek, let Rama kill her. Rama won't sin, will you ? The disobedient kinanti. "

Miris indeed, be patient in love, be patient in waiting, all it takes time, and not only in a matter of fingers. Rama's great love, at least not get recognition from Kinanti. Rama was restless, his heart was hot, his mind was in turmoil. He doesn't know what he should do. He was determinedly strong, he only wanted to stay with Kinanti. In fact, Kinanti was happy to celebrate her divorce with Kinanti.

"Your body is small ! Look, the Kinanti is bigger than you. You want to kill him, your enek sing killed first with Kinanti. Conscious Rama !"

"Mas, take wudhu deh, try praying . Give up all the same God. When do you want to be like this ?" Imbuh Arya who is still standing in the doorway of the room.

Rama nodded, then did what Arya suggested. His body surrendered, somehow to his heart. Only God and Rama know. After he finished praying, Rama raised his hand, pleading with Allah with a heavy voice as his cries broke again.

Thirty minutes later, Rama dissolved in a prayer verse that he recited. When he finished, he came out of the place of worship and returned to see bu lek and Arya. Sit back on the long sofa. Silence, only the sobs of Rama's cries echoed and broke the silence of the night.

"Wes let's go, same lek ya." Bu Lek took Rama's hand, and took him to the room.

'Perhaps, if there is a friend sleeping, Rama iso luwih calm' murmured bu lek in the heart.

Everyone back to their rooms. She slept next to Rama. Like a child, Rama requested that his mother lek hug him tightly. There was fear in his heart, the ugly shadows of guerrilla free in wishful thinking.