Why Should I ?
Certificates

Mother was glued to her place while covering her mouth with both hands. He did not think that Rama would be that strong. The eldest son, now already rested in front of the closet with some messy files. Rama was trying to find something there.

"Buk, Nurin doesn't have that money. Rama, borrow this land certificate ya buk." Pinta Rama while showing a file that is in the red map.

"Fucking crazy boy !"

Plaque !

Mother could no longer hold herself back. He no longer knew how to tell Rama. He was very tired of thinking about the fate of Rama, plus Rama's increasingly arbitrary attitude.

There was no look of regret after Mother managed to slap Rama. He also took the certificate of the land from the hands of Rama. More precisely, Mother snatched it from the hands of Rama.

His eldest son was already too much. He did not heed Mother's words at all. His heart was dark enough. Indeed, it is not wrong if he wants to make his son happy, but it does not mean by hurting the heart of a woman who has risked her life to give birth to him. That's a crazy thing.

"Kowe pingin Ibuk cepet die yo Ram ? Kok kowe once said. I'm not sincere about Grandpa Kowe mortgaging this certificate. We understand po ra Ram, this is the only treasure your father left behind. Nek gets to sita, want to stay where we are Ram, where's ?"

Her tears were on both of her cheeks. Now, Mom sat down and held the certificate firmly. His head feels dizzy because this day continues to be scattered with heavy thoughts. Rama kept forcing his brain to work. Rama is out of control. Whether it was his attitude, or because of the trauma of losing something very valuable to him, to make him do anything to protect the people he loved so much. Including by obeying Nadira's wishes and sacrificing the feelings of the mother.

"Mom didn't think, why did Kowe change. I think, Rama Ibuk's son is still the same as Rama was a child. Rama the dear karo Mother, Rama the understanding, Rama the sad nek know Ibuk nangis."

Like a fish getting bait. This incident provoked Mother's emotions. It reveals all the feelings in his heart. He let out all the complaints that stifled his chest. He spoke as if there was no Rama there. He no longer cared if Rama was angry, or would go back to leave him. Clearly, Mother was really disappointed with Rama's attitude.

"Grandmother ? Grandma why ?"

Nadira who heard the sound of sobbing felt suspicious. He immediately came out of the kitchen, and looked around for the source of the sound that made his heart beat fast. Nadira's brain was already muttering with a bad shadow about what happened.

"Mr..."

Nadira crouched down in front of her grandmother. Gently rubbing the back of the Grandma. He did not dare to ask anything, because Nadira's feelings were increasingly uncertain. There was something pressing down on his soul, making him feel fear and even more restless.

"Kabeh iki mergo kowe ! (All this is because you're Dir!) nek kowe ndak here, ndak was born and there's this one of us, kabeh ora koyo ngene."

Deg ! Like a bomb erupting inside, like a loud push and urging the heart to be squeezed narrower. Nadira's chest hurt hearing that, his heart jolted in shock because of the sentence his grandmother said.

Tears that he never had, now dripped down his cheeks. Flowing like he could no longer stop. What really happened ? Why did Grandma say that ? That's all I had in Nadira's mind.

"Hud ! stop ! What are you talking about ?"

Rama shouted loudly and raised his tone so that Mother stopped talking. He does not want, if Mother's anger hurt Nadira. This time, it is not unwilling because his daughter is maki, but he is more afraid if until Mother uncovers about herself Nadira. Rama did not want it to happen, Rama was afraid if Nadira was disappointed and left him. Of course, Nadira will return to Kinanti, then ask who her real father is. And Rama will lose Nadira forever. Rama didn't want that to happen.

"Grandma, forgive Nadira..." The girl is getting sad. He could not hold his chest. He could no longer pretend to be strong and strong in front of his father and grandmother.

Nadira got up, then ran into the room. There is deep pain. There was a wound he had not imagined before.

Nadira realizes that her Grandma does not like her very much, just like Grandma Wati. However, this Mother of Rama is not quite as frank as Grandma Wati.

Nadira shut herself in the room. He did not heed the call of Rama which had been repeatedly heard. The slender man continued to stand in front of the room door while knocking on the door so Nadira would come out. But darling ! Nadira refused to open it. He was still curled up behind the window and constantly crying.

What a shame for that girl. Other than Rama, no one else would listen to the voice of his heart. Even Kinanti, the mother who had fought to give birth to him, could just abandon him. Bad again, Kinanti never tried to give Nadira to others, even though it was never known Nadira.

"What do you really want Mom ?"

Rama came back to his mother. The middle-aged woman who was still covered in tears. Not shifting from where she sat, Mother still faithfully curled up and hugged the certificate on the tile.

"Mom may hate Rama, but please ma'am, never say that to Nadira. Whatever happens, she's still my daughter !"

Rama emphasized every word he said behind Mom's ear. Although in a whisper, but the sentence was full of threats.

"Please son, just once, listen to your inner voice."

Maybe Rama will never understand your will. And vice versa. They will always struggle with their own ego. They will never be at peace with what has happened. The feeling is just something that blames each other. No words to apologize, no words of thanksgiving. Begging to understand each other, begging to continue in priority.

Mother got up and took a deep breath, exhaled with annoyance, then walked into the room.

Rama stared at Mom's back, and slammed her body on the sofa after she was no longer visible to her sense of sight.

"God, what's wrong Rama ? Why do problems keep following me ? All ruined, all the more lost than my life."