Tarnished Before Accident
Chapters 07. Chastity

CHASTITY is just a word that is considered grand. People often say that word. There is something nobler than that, a clean heart.

Various tests of various types and sizes I have tried. Wishing all the results were negative, but it seems that God willed another. I ... pregnant.

I threw all the two-striped objects from the table to the floor. I collapsed, folded my legs, then drowned my face on my knees.

Wh why? Why is it like this?

My tears were pouring out incessantly, as if fate was trying to joke with me. When I made peace, forgetting about the painful tragedy, fate entangled me with an endless thread.

Rey, do I need to tell her? But, what if Sis Rena finds out?

Nah! I can't possibly damage Kak Rena's newly built household. Sister Rena is innocent. He doesn't deserve that bitterness. But, what about me?

I sobbed, lamenting the fate I was living in front of him. I'm afraid Mama is scolding me for this incident. I was afraid that his anger would affect my life. After all, it's just Sis Rena and Mama my family at the moment. I have no other family besides them.

A knock on the door surprised me and distracted me.

"Alea, open! Mama knows you're inside."

Immediately I wiped the tears that were still dripping, then rubbed the wet eyes using the tip of the clothes I was wearing. I took a deep breath before I finally exhaled. However, my sobs cannot be known to Mama.

I immediately moved from my position, stepping towards the door to open it. And there was Mama who stood up while folding her hands on her chest.

"Alea, Rena is likely to be home tomorrow morning. After he gets home, maybe he'll pack up for a move. Mama wants you to help shop for groceries that are almost out in the refrigerator. Mama will cook a lot to welcome Rena and her husband."

What, sister Rena is coming back? I unconsciously rubbed my own stomach, remembering the child who was trying to grow in my womb. Should I tell him?

"Alea!" Mama came back to wake me up after some time alone. I nodded in disgust.

"I'm getting ready first, yeah, Ma." Without waiting for Mama's approval, I turned around. I immediately went to the bathroom, cleaned my face which must have been like a fool, dirty from crying too much.

I stared at my reflection in the mirror attached to the top wall of the sink. Looks pathetic. There are no happy people there. I tried to smile by pulling both corners of my lips up, but still. I can't do it.

I exhaled a rough breath after wiping the water droplets on my face using a towel, then immediately came out of the bathroom to do the task from Mama.

However, what I saw after the bathroom door opened with me standing there, was enough to make me unable to move my limbs.

Mama was in my room picking up the tests scattered on the floor.

I have trouble swallowing. My body trembled with a deathly pale face.

"Ma-ma!" Call me staggered. And at that moment Mama looked at me with a sharp look that was difficult to interpret.

"What is this, Alea?" He offered the tests in his hand to me. I was silent, unable to say a word. Only the roar of tears suddenly fell down her cheeks.

"Alea, what does this all mean?" Mama threw all those tests right into my face. Tespek made of hard it certainly hurt when it hit my face. However, the pain was not comparable to the anger of Mama who soon shook my head.

"You pregnant?" He glared, showing such great anger. "Who's got you pregnant?"

I'm shaking. I can't answer his words. I was afraid that when Mama found out that if the one who was holding me was Rey, she would hate me even more. Mama always said do not interfere with Kak Rena's marriage, let alone intend to take Kak Rey from Kak Rena. However, I am currently pregnant with Rey's child.

A hard slap landed on my cheek. I lowered my head, not daring to touch the pain and heat from the slap that Mama gave me. Heart hurts. Is all this my fault?

"Had Mama said you'd better get married. If so, you are embarrassing the good name of this family. Look at Rena! He is smart, smart, and good at finding a partner. It's not cheap like you who can get pregnant without a husband!"

"Ma!" I wanted to defend myself, but Mama refused to give me a chance to talk.

"Don't call me Mama. I'm not your mama anymore. I don't have an adulterous son like you."

I shook my head strongly. I'm not an adulterous man. I was just raped. Is it as bad as other people's views on rape victims?

"Couple your things! I wouldn't have a son of a liar like you. Get out of this house, Alea!"

I shook my head, knelt in front of Mama, groveling under the feet of the woman I respected so much. "Ma, forgive me, Ma. Don't throw me out! Where am I supposed to go?"

My hands were violently pushing my body away. His face showed disgust and disgust towards me. It is as if you are avoiding garbage that is considered unclean and dirty.

He stepped quickly away from me, towards my wardrobe. He took the suitcase I put in the closet. Soon he put my clothes in the suitcase, moved it haphazardly.

I'm sorry, I didn't let Mama kick me out. Papa always said that this family should remain intact, should not be divorced after his relics. However, now I must forcefully leave this house.

I was stunned in tears, resigned when all my clothes had moved in that big black suitcase. And not only that, Mama turned out to be so angry to hear my pregnancy to the point of doing something that I loved so much.

He took my precious papers, then tore them right in front of me. I'm gawking. My S1 and High School diploma has been smashed into small pieces. Though I haven't gotten a decent job with that diploma, but Mama has ruined it.

Those tears were scattered right on my face that was kneeling in front of him.

"out! I don't want to see you in this house anymore" he said, pushing a suitcase that was already packed with my clothes.

My eyes closed, questioning many times. Mama, is that how bad I am?

***

The suitcase came out. My heart is broken with all the misunderstandings. Why didn't Mama want to hear my explanation in the slightest?

I hired Rindi by riding my motorcycle matic. However, there the contract was locked the gate from outside. It seems that Rindi is not at home considering that she is also on a work holiday today. I'll have to get the phone right away, but then again I have to swallow the disappointment. Rindi was at her parents' house.

That afternoon while I was still in a state of anxiety, a speck of rain suddenly fell down on my head. I looked up, saw the free-falling water coming down on my face. My eyes closed with a clear water circle out of the corner of the eye, then rubbed together with the raindrops.

Why destiny brought me to this point. The hardest point will be a test of life. No one put me together, accompanied me when I was at the lowest, humiliated.

God, please hug me!

I can't live a life like this. I'm tired, yes, God.

I suddenly thought of Papa. Why did Papa leave me? Why not bring me?

I hugged myself, shivering at the sudden rush of rain. I did not have time to take shelter in the rain only able to blink eyes that felt sore.

I don't know where there was a whisper. When my eyes were fixed on the bridge across the street, my feet suddenly stepped on their own. I drifted there, walking without looking to the right and left. I heard the cry of someone who cursed at me. My ears are deaf. I can't hear anything clearly.

There, something pushed me up the bridge where the river flowed and was quite steep. My hands stretched out, braving the wind and the torrent of rain that fell to the surface of the earth. Oh, my God, is this the end of my life? I can't handle all this alone. I'm putting this body where destiny will take me.

Until the moment my feet slipped there, I heard someone calling my name. My body floated up, feeling someone suddenly pull my body from above and hug me.

"Alea, what are you doing?"

That sound. Yes, that voice is not foreign to me.

Rey, is that you?

...****************...

Thanks, yeah, that left its mark. Sorry can't reply one by one. Not that I don't want to, but I can't. Thank you for the support. Hope you read until the end.