The Second Woman's Regret
Judgment Madam Dila And Family Big

"Had angry? Satisfied have berated others, grabbing, playing physically like a bar-bar people only. Really shameless. Camps. Satisfied Tira Pratiwi? You managed to make a fuss tonight. You are completely different from the old you. Our parents must be very embarrassed. The child who was educated and well cared for by his mother with great difficulty even kayak gini. Far from being educated, civilized and ethical. You really are a naughty, rude and pathetic wild woman!" bertar mbak Dila who was upset because he was the target of my and Giya scratches because he was between us. "Look at this, look at this carefully." he showed me the wound on his arm. "All because of you. Gini the quality of women who are always proud of our grandparents. How humiliating!"

"I'm sorry, ma'am" I said. Honestly I was surprised by what Dila said, why he could make such a conclusion about me. Just because I don't look for a soul mate, I look like the worst man and his many sins. It's completely unforgivable, let alone understandable. I also suffered a lot with all of that. Not only was I hurt, but I was devastated. But I tried to understand, he was so sure because he was upset because he had become a shield and was hurt by both of us.

"Sorry sorry sorry. Then will you repeat again? If you see the boy want to get angry again, want to attack him again? Your attitude really shows that your father's genes flow strongly in your body, Ra. You are exactly your brother, can only cause trouble. Look at our big family group, all talking about you. Everyone is ashamed of their behavior. Didn't think of you, Ra. You don't feel sorry for your mother. Your sisters too. Really pathetic!"

"I don't want any of this, ma'am."

"No desire but to marry the husband of the person. Is that Tira? O Allah, I am ashamed as your brother Tira. Really embarrassed me. What if everyone knew this and they knew you were my brother. I can be considered the same as you. Iiihhh amit - amit ra. Mbok yes you think Tira, before doing all this. You are beautiful, smart too, why is it so stupid, like no other man. Shame on me Ra, shame. That's as low as you are, Ra. Don't you see how red our parents' faces go out because they're ashamed of you!"

"Are you ashamed to have a brother like me? Shame that people know? Take it easy, madam. I would never tell anyone that we are brothers. Even if people ask questions I won't tell because I know myself, this sinful me does not deserve to be part of our great holy family. Who never make mistakes and always keep our grandfather's honor. Satisfied, mbak? Accept judging me, adding to the wounds in my heart. Not only is our honorable extended family ashamed, but I am also ashamed. I'm the one who's most ashamed of myself!" I feel this chest so tight. From just now just hearing the judgment of the people without anyone concerned about me. Am I that cool? No good woman would destroy another's household because the stakes are God's great sin. All this time I always take good care of myself, only connecting with foreign men with only bang Andre but this is what I get as if I am a wild woman who is free.

"Kok so you're angry? You make mistakes so it's natural for others to judge you. I see you're getting uncontrollable, Ra. Changed in our family you are the most beautiful and now have a job well established but arrogant. Conscious Tira, it could be that this is all a warning of God for those of you who are too proud of yourself!"

My tears are getting bigger. I'm not like that. Even until this moment I never boast of the face that God gave me, nor the workers that I have now. I am all grateful as best I can. I am beautiful, but I have never used this beauty to make it. I also have a great job for my mom and my sisters. Then why do they say it like that.

"I was curious to see how our extended family responded with your attitude earlier? moreover, you are angry with me just because I advised..That's proof of your arrogance, Tira!"

"I'm not arrogant, ma'am. I'm angry not because of my advice, but because I'm not accusing me."

"I don't know, ma'am, if she's married."

"Here, it could be that you just cover up the situation."

"No, no,"

"I asked you about prayer, right? But you're covering up."

"No, I'm ..." Somehow explained to her, but right now I'm completely cornered. That condition even made my heart break. It's like I have no hope anymore. I've been so bad in their eyes that I don't care, but please don't be so rude. "Alright if that's Dila's assessment, even though I don't feel that way. I accept, mbak. I will also try to improve myself as best I can later. Now leave me alone." I asked, with an already erratic feeling.

"Oooh ngusir? Heh, later if there's anything don't come after me..All of you say to my mother Ra, do not need to involve me to worry about you. I am burdened. I do not like being asked for help like that. Understand you. Emang does not know thank you, has been helped even ngusir. Don't know yourself!" Dila left, of course without the slightest feeling of guilt has made my heart hurt.

In this room, I won it. If they knew, being me wasn't easy. Since childhood haunted by fear because this level makes me targeted by many men. Not to mention losing the figure of Abah makes me even more distrustful of the name of love. I really grew up putting my own feelings aside for me, enough for my mother and sisters.

Until the end I will be like this. I have no right to feel love forever. My life was just a form of devotion to my mother and sisters.