The Second Woman's Regret
After Five Years

I stood facing the tenth-floor building standing between the skyscrapers in the capital. Indeed, this building is not as grand as the surrounding buildings, but more than the culuo for achievements during these five years that only focus on work.

"You're really amazing, Ra. It's not wrong if you're nicknamed the kind in business" Amanda said.

"All thanks to you always helping me, Man." I said to Amanda.

For the past five years, I have struggled to be ahead. I want everyone to know that I don't just rely on faces. But I have expertise as an IT expert. My focus is on business and IT service providers. The first year Amanda and I were still side by side, but the second year, I ventured to expand our efforts, recruiting more employees to get more tenders. During the night I tried, only a few hours of rest a day. Now everyone knows who I am, Tira Pratiwi, owner of the IT Center Group. Slowly but surely, I also made branches in various fields. Starting from traveling, consultant, beauty to health. I'm really satisfied with the achievement I got.

While Amanda, because she has HIV, so must routinely check up for her health. Over the past five years, while helping me with her marketing skills, Amanda has also opened up free healthcare. We work together in the social field. There, he meets Hadi, a man who also has HIV, and they have now become lovers. In the near future, Amanda and Hadi are planning to get married.

"So what's your next plan, Ra?" Amanda asked, when we had lunch together.

"Yes I will continue to work hard, make a lot of money so that people no longer see the disgrace in my past, but focus on my achievements. That's so!" I said, while moving the dishes we ordered to the plate.

"Until when? Tira, we're not young anymore, we're three heads soon. Do you still want send?"

I'm silent.

"Ra, after marriage, Hadi and I will move to Jogja. We will start a new life by farming and raising fish. We'll spend our days happy" Amanda said. Actually he had told me this plan several times, and heard it I was sad because five years ago only Amanda became my friend and family. I completely shut myself off from anyone, including Mas Bagus who is still trying to always be next to me. "Ra, I don't want you to live in solitude. I know you don't like being lonely. Therefore, before I leave, I hope you will open your heart again to new people." Amanda continued.

I'm silent.. Last time falling in love it hurts. Even now it still hurts. Twice the foreign man said kabul ijab, but all tenyata meaningless.had to fail when I felt sure this is my happy path.

Now, if asked to repeat, it still feels afraid. I'm so scared. What if he can't accept my past. His family can't accept me? I shook my head, my heart had been in pain too often, I didn't want to let her feel pain anymore.

"I'm not ready, man." I said. Then move on.

***

This morning, whether this is a flower bucket that I have from the Bagus mas, which is clear for five years he often does it. Sometimes every day in a row in a few weeks, then disappear until I am used to looking. Then he appeared again making me flutter, but that feeling I quickly killed before I fell back in love for the third time. I'm afraid of heartache again. Being left after halal is really painful.

"Hi Ra." He suddenly appeared.

"Hi mas." I said. "You want to go to work?" I asked, because he was present already wearing his office uniform..Uniforms that are very familiar as a country man.

"Mmm, I deliberately stopped by to let you know."

"What?"

"Maybe this is the last flower bucket."

"Mama's gonna set me up."

"Huh, it's still time?"

"Mmm, maybe because Mama thinks I'm not really looking for a partner. Five years I chased you to no avail." he chuckled. "After marriage, I want to move to another island."

"Oh, where?"

"Maybe Sumatra, Kalimantan, Sulawesi or even Papua. Anywhere, the important thing is far from you" he said.

"Why?"

"If I'm married, I want to be loyal to Ra, I don't want to be double. I want to keep my wife feeling as well "he said again.

What you said impressed me. Not all married women want that. To make his partner faithful.

"Have you met the girl?" my many.

"Mama determines. I'll just come along."

"Oh, congratulations to Mas. Good luck." I said.

He nodded. Then it passed leaving me alone.

Great, I have known him since childhood, as well as his parents. Aunt Sonia's mother was also very kind to me. But getting into his family circle is the same as returning to the old family sphere. I'll go back to my mother, my three brothers, my father, his new wife, my grandmother, my mother Dila, my bude. I shook my head strongly. What happened in the past has traumatized me. I'm not sure I can get back to my strong face and heart if I see you again.

"Are you sure you'll let someone as good as Mas Bagus go?" suddenly Amanda was right next to me. Apparently he was listening from the inside, so good mas went new he appeared. "He's the most sincere, Ra. You'll never meet someone like that again" Amanda said.

"Kok so, anyway?" I switched to the flowers he sent. White roses are beautiful and also fragrant.

"Those years he's been loyal to you, Ra. Under any circumstances, he is really waiting for you. It could be your soul mate. Even if it is not for you, but help him to get his soul mate and feel happy by accepting his application. Do not be pushed back Ra, you know, if he has been betrothed to someone else, it means there is no gap for you to enter. Regrets usually come later. I just want to remind you not to feel it!" said Amanda affirming.

"But ...."

"But what? Are you afraid to face your family later? There are two, you can face them together. His name is alive, there must be a test, Ra. So face it, don't avoid it. Five years you've been avoiding them all. Your family, mas Saka. It's time for you to show up!" challenge Amanda.