The Second Woman's Regret
Go away

"May ... Tira ... Tira!" mas Saka's voice was still heard calling my name, but the longer it disappeared along with the behavior of the taxi I was riding. I decided not to peek through the rearview mirror because I did not want to add a wound in my own heart.

Whether it's over or not, but I've definitely given up. Now it's Saka's turn to fight if he wants this marriage to last or it must end here.

The sky of the capital is already dark, but there are still many lights that live so that everything does not look so dark. Mas Saka has not dropped talak, but I do not have to end all the struggles of my life. Clearly, my life must continue even though my status is unclear.

I have stopped from the Saka mas office, it is also impossible to go back there. The marriage relationship alone is unclear, let alone the status as an employee. Even so I did not close communication with Saka mas, when he contacted me to give an answer. I don't want to think like a kid. Whatever the problem must be solved, it's just that before meeting again, I asked him to rethink because he did not want to happen again like yesterday. We both have to be steady, want to go on or just end. Of course with all the consequences.

We both agreed, we'll meet again in a week. When our heads were cold. Speak with a calm mind so as not to regret with all decisions later. Any decision based on emotion will only end in regret.

In order to move on with this unclear life, Amanda and I both agreed to start a new venture. Both of us with all the limitations will be freelance for IT. Amanda as the operator according to the field, while I'm technical. The result will be divided into three parts. One for me, one for Amanda and one for operations. Including to pay for Amanda's apartment rent because we decided here for a while we'd be in office.

The first day, many have submitted to be made a program by me. There are also those who offer submissions so that I want to join their company. But I refused, I chose to remain faithful to work with Amanda, in addition to helping the economy, also at this time with an unclear status, I need to work free hours.

"We take this, Ra. There are three in total. You willing?" ask Amanda, while showing three companies that are on average small. The fee offered is also below average, only the workload is also not large. I just assented. I've left it to Amanda. I believe he knows what my condition is right now. "Okay, I transferred to you fifty million, the rest to me and our corporation" Amanda said. Then he sent me all the data I had to do to my email.

Another week Saka and I will meet, I don't know what the decision will be. I've been sincere, just as sincere as what happened in the past. Is not all finished by God.

"Fiuff." I took a deep breath, then threw it away. To reduce tightness in the chest. But it's still crowded. I don't know why those tears finally came out. There wasn't the slightest bit of happiness that I felt, but I accepted it all, even so, it still hurt.

"Ra, are you okay?" ask Amanda who realizes I'm crying. "Must remember Saka again?"

"No, just wondering, about how the end of the journey of this woman will be." I said. While staring straight at the keeoan, as if looking for answers to my question.

"If you still expect this marriage, fight for Ra." Said Amanda.

"But if he doesn't want me? Is it still to be fought? I don't want to force Man, I don't want to make it worse with the constant suspicion." I said. "Maybe he had to let go if he really wanted it all to end. If he's going to survive, he's not gonna let me wait alone."

***

Saka and I finally met. We are now in his apartment. I am ready to listen to his decision.

"Why do you have to be a second woman" she said.

"Tira .. I can't" he said

I'm nodding. "That's okay, mas. I'm understand." I said.

"Ra, why?" he is still struggling with his own mind. "Can you give me another chance to think."

"No, today everything should be clear."

"I love you but I ...."

I smiled, looking at him without a blink.

"Tira Pratiwi, I'm your talak. From now on you are not my wife anymore" said mas Saka.

I closed my eyes and said hamdalah. Although bitter, failing to marry a second time but at least my status is clear. Not hung like a week ago. I immediately pulled the suitcase that was already near me. Then say hello, leaving the crying Saka mas then became hysterical because I left her.

"This life is still long Tira, if there is no happiness for you here, then you must look elsewhere, not let your life be destroyed!" I motivate myself. All the way back to Amanda's apartment I tried not to cry with a hum while staring at the streets of Jakarta. But still in the end the tears were spilled when it was in Amanda's place.

"Why should you marry if you end up in a matter of days divorced" Amanda said.

I understand the decision of Saka. He loved me so much that he was obsessed with having me completely. He looked at me so high that when his family reminded him of the disgrace of my past, his jealousy made him unable to accept my past which was not his right.

"Then what now, Ra?" ask Amanda.

"Yes, let's continue our lives. Let's raise AT corporations together. Maybe it's time we fight to be rich so we can get true love" I told Amanda.

Tonight, while actually sad, Amanda and I had a small party for our new venture. From now on, I who was discouraged by my mistake will prove that I deserve to be appreciated because I also do not want to be as bad as their minds.

No one else can underestimate me. They should be able to respect me because I'm not who they accuse me of. The old Tira Pratiwi has gone with all my pain, now there is the new Tira. Tira who would never let himself fall into the hands of a cowardly man. Tira who did not want to be made to cry again. My tears are dry and I just want to be happy!