TOAST
* Slice 27, The wound

Not all children can feel the love and warmth of the family as a whole. It could be the death, divorce and new marriage of both parents that sometimes make it all happen.

Nuha thought, if Qeena who lost the affection and warmth of the family intact, would be able to become a loving parent (Mother) and can create family warmth. Because Noah sometimes felt unable to raise Qeena alone. His name is a schoolboy sometimes there is a problem, want to feel like Nuha shared a story, but want the same story who? couples do not exist, if the story to parents it does not feel good, let alone want to share with Qeena, something that is not possible. Nuha felt that she was not a good mother because she could not love the best for Qeena, as long as Qeena was beside her, she could only share her sadness and shortcomings.

Noah was not a strong man, giving in more and staying oppressed. Want to not even large Qeena with almost the same rich nature of Noah.

Qeena was a child who had a hollow and arid soul. The condition and atmosphere of "broken home" is indeed a trigger for his passion to change the fate of becoming bigger. But whatever the power, he still can not help to change the fate, even this small he has come to think of tomorrow can eat or can school or not.

Qeena always diligently and diligently studied in school. With all the limitations of education support facilities, he was not desperate. He didn't have a package book outside the school ration, so he copied it from his friend's book. Though if you want to easily stay photocopied, but it is not possible for him to ask for more money to Noah, make snacks not necessarily every day can. In addition, Qeena followed Noah, who was concerned about fasting Monday - Thursday (initially for the sake of food rations, but instead became a habit), he also performed obligatory prayers and evening sunnah in order for Allah to hasten to change his fate. Although everything seemed sad, Qeena always tried to be happy in the rubble of her life.

The parenting knowledge that Noah can only from reading books borrowed from the Mother Teacher Kindergarten and advice from people who have experienced educating children. Nuha realized she was the mother who became the main and first educator for her child in instilling habits, religious principles, manners, ethics, compassion, social spirit, tolerance, please help and respect opinions.

When he was still intensively talking with Mr. Dzul, Nuha also gained additional knowledge. Mr. Dzul's view of how parents become the main figure for his children, children will always follow whatever the parents do. Although there is a missed time because of career, when gathered, it must establish effective communication, instill discipline, introduce religion, ethics, manners and other positive habits. So in any busy condition, Mr. Dzul must make time for the children, because the child should not get the rest of the time when the parents are already cape from the workplace. Very unwise parents are busy outside the house, children are handed over to their caretakers.

This is what makes Mr. Dzul comfortable talking to Noah. Pak Dzul type with his mature and insightful thinking just wants to be heard and Noah with many limitations gets a lot of enlightenment.

Even Mr. Dzul had betrothed Noah to his friend, but Noah refused. Several times Mr. Dzul tried again to introduce Nuha with his colleagues in Kalimantan. But Noah still had the same answer.

Pa Dzul used to contact Noah by phone, explaining about the candidate he would introduce. This is the umpteenth time Mr. Dzul intends to introduce a candidate for companion for Noah. But Noah's answer was always that. It was as if he was numb the same thing as a male. Once upon a time Noah firmly set a blockade so that Mr. Dzul did not betrothed him to anyone.

"I've never felt in love. Loving and being loved, being treated like a princess, feeling the affection of a man I consider great. I also have good in-laws. With my husband, I have ever assembled a beautiful story with the aim of later being together in the world and later also sesyurga. The person I love is the one who hurt me the most, the one who should be able to protect even so the one who is cruel slicing feelings, the one who should be a field of reward for me ... it creates a hell of inner torment without pause. When I left the house, then with the help of Mas Dzul to sue for divorce in the Religious Court, at that time I had sworn to close my heart and mind from men. I don't want to be hurt anymore, I feel comfortable living together with Qeena. All of my family can accept me for who I am. As Mak Leha said earlier ... life is like toast, although experiencing a torturous process, in the end it can have a higher value and better to enjoy. My job now is to raise Qeena and escort her to find a good priest for her, don't be as mispicked as I am. So with a series of stories of my life, it is enough for Mas Dzul to stop matching me with any man" said Noah to Pak Dzul many times each will be betrothed.

"Failure is not something that man plans to do with Noah. That's why God wrote your life line like that. God knows you can learn from there. Why not open your heart again? After all the man I introduced to you is not an arbitrary person, I know how he is. Qeena also needs a father figure who can teach her to be assertive and more courageous in life. A mother's love will be different from a father's. Aren't you the same as Qeena? you also can not be forever like this, you both need to be protected, diayomi and do not need to be this hard to fight for a living" advised Mr. Dzul at that time.

"Yes .I understand what Mas means, but I have no intention of building a new household. I am also old, thirty-two years old, what else am I looking for? I already have Qeena, if people accept me it must be the same as Qeena. Not necessarily people can accept us in agreement. Let us be like this Mas, this wound is still not healed, it still hurts. The trauma that I experienced was quite impregnated, dry until it was tears it was like crying for the past. Qeena may need the affection of a father, so I am learning to be his father as well" said Nuha.

"But you can't go against God's destiny, if God still loves a mate you must accept. No wonder Noah .. just live your life happily. Mas pray you and Qeena can be better later in Wonogiri. If you need help, do not hesitate to contact me or Dawn. We are already rich brothers, when I need support and energy, you are in the front row. That's why I will also be your vanguard and Qeena" said Mr. Dzul.

Mr. Dzul did not want to impose his will on Noah again, everything has been discussed first. Noah was like his own brother, so his duty was to guide without dictating the life of Noah. Noah grew older with the course of his life.

Somehow every effort that initially smoothly aja, if already held by Noah must be immediately deserted even closed. Nuha also did not understand the same thing, he had tried to follow the recipe from his mother, he was also friendly with buyers. This time the issue of rat meatballs is the cause. There are indeed people in the area who do such naughty practices. But if Nuha did not go along, he preferred to mix chicken meat for beef mix for meatball dough rather than cheating.

His brothers, blame Noah for the meatball stalls so quiet and arguably will close.

Finally, no want, Noah joined the farm with his father. His mother is only at home because of gout, which makes it difficult to move in the fields. His saw also belongs to others, his Father Noah only worked with a revenue sharing system. Sometimes during school holidays, Qeena also went to the rice fields. Repel wild plants that interfere with rice growth.

Qeena and Fajar are still on good terms over the phone. The beginning of Qeena just moved, almost every day they chatted with each other, over time the intensity was reduced due to the busy Dawn and Qeena school. Dawn is routinely filling data and pulse packages for Qeena.

Now after school, Qeena helps keep the shop away from her home. Nuha had forbidden Qeena to make money, but Qeena remained in her stance, unwilling to stand by to see this condition.

Qeena and Nuha succumbed by eating rice only once a day, giving both parents the option to eat more. No other income than farming. There are not many jobs available in the village. In addition, Noah tries to make the sweet bread that Qeena brought to school to sell to her friend. But regional cultures that feel not full if only eating bread, most end up choosing snack meatballs and chicken noodles rather than buying bread.

"You're not ashamed of Qeena .. If you go to school with bread?" asked Noah at the time.

"Gapapa Mak .. which is important halal. Kasian Mbah Uti with Mbah Akung, already sickly still working in the fields . Later Qeena school until Junior High only Mak. If you have graduated, want to work in the factory, friends say people here are a lot rich, just until Junior High" explained Qeena.

"Don't it have to be SMA or SMK if you work in a factory?" ask Noah.

"Can Mak .. be a manual laborer in a textile factory. The task is to remove the same thread attach the buttons" replied Qeena.

"School is Qeena, Mak will find the money. You have to move forward, let people not lower you. Aja graduated High School, your childhood today is just a graduation Junior High School" advises Nuha.

"But Mak .. where tega Qeena see Emak work in the rice fields, not yet night make bread to be tipped to the stall, if everyone sells, if not Mom break even a sale. The money from the stall guard Qeena kumpulin Mak. Later second grade Junior High, there is a study tour to Jakarta. See Monas, TMII same planetarium. Qeena wants to come with Mak, as long as we live there Qeena has never been to that place, then ragunan aja used to be invited by neighbors" explained Qeena.

"As for you, Qeena, oh how's Rian? long time no hear the progress" asked Nuha.