A Little Hope For Ashma
27. Not ready to be left out again

Adam was a little confused as to what to answer but he did not want to make Lily think that makes the burden on his head will get heavier so afraid to make it stressful.

"For a while we go home to the apartment yes," said Adam as calmly as possible.

Lily seemed to be frowning her forehead confused, "why? though I want to meet Mama." softly with a lethargic face, Adam also actually wants to bring them together but the situation is not right for now.

"Not yet, it's better to focus on your health first,"

Lily let out a long breath, she did not open her voice again afterwards.

Adam suddenly remembered Ashma, for some reason his heart was troubled to remember his wife. His crying face last time suddenly appeared in Adam's head making him increasingly mired in endless dilemmas.

After several hours of travel finally Adam and Lily arrived at the apartment, Adam took her inside by tapping Lily's frail body that was still limp to sit on the sofa.

"Tomorrow we check yes," said Adam softly, Lily immediately nodded.

Adam immediately moved to the kitchen to prepare dinner, on the way they had stopped by to buy food.

After finishing preparing dinner Adam immediately brought Lily to sit on the chair. "You should eat a lot!" he said as he spooned the soup into Lily's plate.

Lily's heart warmed up to her brother's gentle treatment she had long been waiting for.

"I look skinny, don't I?" tanya Lily made sure that indeed she had lost a lot of weight.

Adam gave a small nod and sat down opposite Lily. They eat dinner with happiness, each other chat to let go of longing together.

After dinner Adam immediately brought Lily to rest in his room while he would sleep in the middle room.

That lonely night wrapped up her troubled feelings. Today there seems to be a miracle that Adam never thought before, seeing Lily again is Adam's great hope all along, but on the other hand Adam also thought about how to tell Ashma without having to hurt his feelings, it was indeed a small possibility but Adam hoped Ashma wanted to understand his position now.

His daydreams instantly broke due to the ringing of his cell phone, Adam immediately picked up a phone call from Ashma. Actually Adam wanted to tell me that he had a sudden affair but was too cool to let go of the longing with Lily.

"Assalamualaikum" he said, greeting from there, while Adam still did not answer his wife's greeting, suddenly he was relieved to hear Ashma's voice again.

"Guilipinam,"

"You're not coming home?" ask Ashma worried. Suddenly his feelings were upset and could not fall asleep because his nausea relapsed again.

"Sorry Ashma, I have a sudden need. Is it okay to stay?" adam asked unpleasantly because he had made a temperament for this lie.

"It's common, though. But to be honest I just want to be considered Mas, can it if you leave let alone suddenly at least tell me!" Adam heard a disappointed tone of voice from Ashma.

"Sorry, next time I'll tell you."

Ashma tried to hold back her tears, she didn't want to cry because she actually held back from being upset with Adam.

"Yes, good night. Assalamualaikum." Ashma immediately turned off her phone and let out a long sigh accompanied by a circle of tears that fell

Adam stared in disbelief at his phone, he was a little upset that Ashma suddenly hung up on him.

"Is he upset?" adam's mind was confused.

The next day Adam had an appointment to accompany Lily to check up with the doctor. Adam seems anxious with the results of his examination fear there is a deep scar on Lily considering all this time he did not get good treatment.

Adam sits in front of the doctor who examined Lily, explaining that Lily can get amnesia.

"He can only remember some memories of the past, half memory loss is called "partial amnesia" or "partial amnesia." This is a condition in which a person loses some of his or her memory, but not all of it. Usually, partial amnesia can occur after a minor head injury or in some cases a certain disease." The doctor was clear about Lily's condition.

Adam doesn't know what to react to because Lily's amnesia is an advantage to him, at least Lily doesn't remember Edward anymore and who the man really is.

"There's nothing else to worry about anymore, Lily just needs enough rest and a lot of nutritious food, besides she also has to check up regularly." Said continued.

Adam understands, he will always take care of Lily and will always try to protect her, whether when her memory will return at any time again Adam will still hold Lily by his side.

After the examination that afternoon, the two of them rushed back to the Apartment. Adam gets three missed calls from Ashma, remembering his wife Adam decides to go home to the Mansion.

"I have to go home first, are you okay I'm staying?" ask Adam, ask Lily for permission.

Lily smiled slightly, "it's okay, your work must also accumulate a lot because of looking after me," Lily said understanding the situation.

Adam grabs Lily's palms gently, "you always understand me, well then I say goodbye."

After a parting speech in the meantime Adam immediately rushed home to the Mansion.

Ashma looked at the beautiful blue sky, her eyes sparkling like a child. His heart longs for both parents, the shadow of childhood comes to Ashma's mind when the happiness of his family togetherness fills Ashma's head.

There was one more thing that filled his mind, this time about Adam. The man was just the opposite, still unable to make peace with the past. Ashma realized that all this time she had not been able to be a good wife for Adam.

In addition to her obligation to serve her husband well, Ashma must also try to give understanding to Adam slowly, at least Ashma should not be so resigned in order to fight for their marriage that has not yet found a point of certainty.

Someone opened the door to her room, Ashma knew who it was, and she walked into the room leaving the balcony.

Their eyes clashed for a while before Ashma immediately ended to reach Adam's palm, treating him solemnly as a form of devotion to Adam.

"Thank God I'm home,"

Ashma was very relieved, seeing her husband's face right in front of her. Adam smiled in a knot, without lingering Adam immediately grabbed Ashma's body to enter his arms.

Honestly, he could not resist the turmoil of wanting to always hug Ashma, the fragrant body of the woman made himself calm even when Lily had returned Adam could only feel a hug this calm from Ashma. Adam felt like this was because the innate branch of the baby who wanted his Papa was always close to the mother.

"Mas have eaten yet?" ask Ashma in Adam's arms.

"Already," said Adam quietly, sniffing the distinctive aroma of Ashma's body.

Adam took off his arms with Ashma, "Mas wants to stroke your belly can you?" adam asked for permission, Ashma nodded with a knotty smile.

"Ashma watched Adam stroking his flat stomach while looking at the interaction of the man talking to the baby.

"Darling, healthy in there huh. I promise I will always take care of your mother, because that is my promise to her" Adam said. Honestly, his feelings began to waver and he felt confused by his own feelings. Adam knew he was very planless but since knowing Ashma was pregnant, Adam was not willing if later they would separate.

Ashma who heard Adam's words to the baby-to-be made her heart shake softly.

"Mas.." call Ashma. Adam looked up, looking at the puddle held back from Ashma's eyes.

Adam pulled up a chair nearby and sat down to face Ashma, "Why are you crying?"

"Can I say something?" ask Ashma for permission.

Adam gently wiped the tears at the corner of his wife's eyes, "of course," he answered with permission. Ashma let out a long sigh, before starting a serious talk with Adam.

"I just want to put out a sense of unease in my heart, please listen to me now as a wife!" he said, Adam looked at Ashma's face full of seriousness.

"Mas, I know I'm not the woman you chose. I understand deep down here," pointed Ashma at the chest of Adam's field, "it's been filled with other women who have already occupied your heart," he continued in full.

"I don't want to compete with the woman in your heart because I have no right to it. But, I beg of you Mas, please look at me as your wife, an orphan woman whom you have asked to make a life companion to Grandma and uncle in Palestine, he said, have you not forgotten the sweetness of your appeal to them so that you agree that you may ask me, have you not forgotten?"

Adam shook his head slowly, his mouth as if he could not say anything to Ashma. Seeing the woman speak softly with tears that just shed has succeeded in making Adam tortured.

"I know you have wounds with your past, I also know it's not easy to heal. I also know what it's like to be abandoned by our dear ones, the pain is incredible Mas."

"I once violated destiny, telling me why God was unfair to me. Taken my father who was a victim of the savagery of the Zionists, while my mother died from the inner wounds left by Dad, leaving me alone with wounds that are still not recovered."

Adam is shocked to hear Ashma's words about his parents. So selfish was Adam that he did not know Ashma's suffering all along.

"Doesn't it hurt to hope in that man, you will only feel bitterness because all that man has belongs to him Khaliq. He can take it at any time, soul mate, sustenance, or ourselves. Everything is already specified in the book of Lauhul Mahfudz,"

"If our past meetings lead us now to marriage, it is not all thanks to God's intervention. As to how certainly he is the omniscient who thinks good for his servants,"

"Mas.peace be with the past" said Ashma.

"I have no intention of forcing your will Mas, I just want you to taste the fruit of sincerity. To your parents, and to your late girlfriend Lily, too,"

Adam's heart feels shocked when Ashma calls Lily's name, he knows that he has not been able to make peace with his past but is now different, Lily is alive and Adam doesn't know what to do. Adam did not lie that his heart still loved Lily even though Ashma tried to knock on the door of his heart, Adam could not give permission.

"The rest I leave to you Mas, you're the one who will choose whom you'll dock with" Ashma wiped her tears with relief. Finally he could reveal all the tempests in his heart to Adam.

"Is there any other reason why you said your last words?" adam asked misgivings because Ashma's last sentence made him wonder.

Ashma smiled faintly and then she grabbed Adam's face gently, "I'll be ready to leave if you want that, but I promise to fight for our marriage to the point where I'm tired. When that happens, let's open a new page."

Adam was eager to protest and say that Ashma's words seemed to be very willing to part with him but considering that he was also cruel to play Ashma's heart, what force Adam dared to interrupt his words.

"Then what about our son?" ask Adam who immediately remembers the baby candidate. He realized that their child would be the victim of a separation between his parents.

"We will continue to take care of her!"

ashma said unequivocally, she knew that Adam must be thinking about the fate of their son.

#TBC