DEAR
Episode 12's

Mr. Abdul passed us off one by one.

“Alright, everything is here. We start now?” Abdul asked excitedly, still asking.

“Of course!” Vicky answered with a burning spirit.

“The sun will be sinking soon, so prepare your equipment all.” Mr. Abdul directed.

Then they busied themselves by unpacking the contents of the bag, except I who just watched without saying anything. Dawn pulled out a camera that seemed too fancy.

In just two minutes they put their bags back on, some of the contents had been removed. Now, the question I didn't ask is “where are we going?”

“Leva, please take the camera that is in Dawn. Then start recording.”

“I start recording?”

“Yes! You know how to use a camera?”

“No!”

Ooh! They all sighed disappointed. Then Dawn taught me how to use the camera, I quickly learned because it was simple and easy. I just pressed a few buttons to activate, record, pause, stop saving it.

We started.

They told me to walk backwards, follow those who would go nowhere. They told me to shut up, no matter what. Surely Mr. Abdul and Tiwa walk beside me. I recorded them walking while talking. We walked out at the side gate of the school to the rice field area and after a little distance of walking, we stopped, took a break. I stopped them. A few moments later, we turned around, went back down the road we had been on and headed for school.

Strange, why should we bother to ride the road if in the end we are only going to an empty building that is behind the school cafeteria? A dull, smelly old building and a lot of bugs?

And again, my job is to just record and follow them from behind, no dialogue at all. I feel disturbed. It sucks! They're the players, I'm just the cameraman? Not to be proud, what should I say to my father and Leah if they come to watch and don't see their daughter in the movie?

In the past, I used to be a flower pot during a drama performance in elementary school, I didn't feel happy, but I didn't feel sad either. I'm not upset or angry. Everything is normal, whether in a position like whatever people put me. But this time, my irritation was so obvious that I recognized this feeling easily. The expression on my face shows it.

“Leva,” Call Tiwa in a voice as if whispering. I glanced at him for a moment. “Although you're not seen on camera, but smile.”

I thought he was going to say something wiser than that, but he didn't realize I was upset.

We entered the empty old warehouse, Fairel and Dawn opened the door slowly. Instantly, the sound of rats and cockroaches scattering, the sunlight radiating in illuminated the room.

It was getting dark, the sun was slowly sinking. We entered the hall—which is now, it becomes total darkness when the sun really goes away. Ono, Vicky and Dawn started to turn on the flashlight, while on the other hand, we also used the camera light for lighting.

I'm still recording, Abdul directed me. Ten o'clock in the evening we finally finished and returned to class.

Two o'clock in the morning I woke up, there was no bonfire like Vicky wanted. There was no one in the classroom, just looking at Tiwa and Mr. Abdul on the porch. The others are out of nowhere. Being alone in class, it gave me goosebumps. I guess, I'll also go out for the wind or maybe look for something else.

I walked down the corridor, in the school garden I saw Abi and Vicky chatting and laughing, on the other side of the park in front of the library, I looked at Fairel who was laying down her body on the grass while looking up at the sky. I approached him. He was aware of my presence and smiled at me.

“You're always alone.” Said.

“Fairel also.” My answer.

“Only sometimes. Not sleepy?” Ask Fairel again.

“I ... just woke up.”

“True too. But I'm the opposite. I'm so sleepy!” He said, slightly stretching his body.

I looked at him without a word.

“I'll sleep now.” Said again.

“Here?” Ask wonder.

“Why? Can't?”

I just shut up. Not that it can't, it's just…

“As long as I fall asleep, you don't go anywhere!” Prohibited it.

I just nodded.

“Because if you were here, I would feel safe.” He murmured softly while closing his eyes. Unknowingly I also followed him, I threw my body beside him, looking up, towards the sky‒which I had never really noticed before. I think my eyes are currently shining because of the reflection of the light of thousands of sparkling stars. It's exquisite. The sky at night turned out to be this incredible. Well, what did I do for so long as I never realized it? What kind of relief is this? I felt that my heart suddenly became vast, so that the universe could enter into it. I've never felt this feeling before. Not pathetic, but my tears are dripping.

“Leva?” Fairel opened her eyes and looked at me, my tears kept falling. “Leva?”

I was also confused about myself, why cry? But strangely enough, I enjoyed it. This crying.

Fairal, continued to look at me without saying another word and, the next minute he went back to sleep. From the corner of my eye I could see the curvature of her smiling lips. Wh why?

                 ***

For me for the first time, slicing onions is not a really hard job. It was not as difficult as when I was working on math problems or when I lifted a stone weighing 10 kg while climbing a thousand steps to the top of the mountain, even though I've never done it before but when I imagined it I thought it was hard. Not impossible, but difficult. But slicing onions is very simple. Just need to peel the thin skin and then slice slowly. But be careful is a very important thing because do not let the hand also sliced and if necessary use a knife that is not too sharp because it will succeed to avoid blood spurting. But this isn't about slicing onions, all I'm trying to say is, there are times where I don't find food at home. At such times, all I usually do is stay hungry or provide my own foodstuff, fresh water or, crying until someone notices me.

“Leva, are you okay?” Ask Vicky.

“Ya!” My answer.

“I mean ... You cry.”

“This is a tear!”

“Because of that tears so I said you were crying!”

“The departure of tears does not mean always called crying. Crying tears are always accompanied by feelings of sadness or haru.” I clearly. Hahaha, how come I suddenly become smart, huh?

“That's right, Leva.” Said Abi who had suddenly sat down beside me while holding a piece of carrot. “By the way, what are you going to cook?”

“Internship?”

“Capcai superkick!” Shouted Vicky, “We will cook a super tasty capcai in the world,” he said with sparkling eyes.

“You're as excited as ever.” Comment Abi.

“What is wrong? I'm just trying to create positive energy around me!”

“Really! Positive energy will always make you happy.” Said Tiwa, “We must indeed imitate Vicky, unlike Leva who is always surrounded by the energy―” Tiwa stopped suddenly. It seems, he wants to compare me to Vicky.

“Tidaaaaaaaaaaak!!” He shouted suddenly, quite loudly. “No! Nah! Nah! Nah! Nah! Nah! No, Lewa, that's not what I mean!”

Besides suddenly being strange she also mispronounced my name with Lewa!

Then start talking in a quick tone, “I didn't mean to say it at all. I do not intend to say that Leva is always surrounded by negative energy, absorbing all the negative energy in the universe and then spreading it to the surrounding environment, his life is always gloomy without happiness. The dark shadow followed him wherever he went. Leva has always been in solitude in the human world because on the other hand he is active in the spirit world befriending scary zombies (when he himself is a zombie). He is misled in a dark labyrinth where there is only hell that produces suffering and torment. It's not your fault if you'd rather drink blood than herbal medicine (why herbal medicine?), it's not your fault if you'd rather have a knife than a pen. You're just a victim, you're just misled by demons, you're just misled by dark shadows. You are only affected by the devil because your soul is small and fragile! Levaaa ..”

Am I really like that? Why am I upset?

Tiwa stopped, she sighed. Fatigue with talking. I'm sure he only meant to explain the misunderstanding in his first sentence, which he hadn't been able to say. But it was not an explanation that he laid out but rather a new problem that was more complicated than before.

“Well, now you understand, right, Leva. I didn't mean to say it!” Continue Tiwa with a relieved smile.

What do I understand? What's he not saying? Even the Qarima that I considered the most chatty of them all was now defeated by Tiwa Macdugs.

“Instead, mom says it all ..” Said Abi carefully, as the atmosphere turned tense. Surely only Vicky and Abi feel it.

“Ya?” Tanya Tiwa. He was silent, seemingly thinking back to what he had just said.

In a split second, the look on his face changed. I just saw the dumbest face among the dumbest I've ever seen, he turned round and very round like a basketball. Slowly it turns into a futsal ball, then it turns into a mocha ball, bleached and completely white. Where did the calm face he showed before go?

“APAAAAAAAAAAAAA?” His shouting. Frustrated, he panicked. He's very panicked. Just imagine someone in a cartoon holding his head with both hands then shaking it. “AAAAAAAAAAA!” Cry exploded. He caught the attention of everyone, the surroundings became very crowded. “I ... hiks! Hiks!” He also pulled out snot. Iiii!

“Already, mom don't need to cry like that. Look, Leva isn't mad, is he?” Abi asked while looking at me, she tried to calm Tiwa down.

I just nodded with the super calm face I had, well that was because my expression was like this. Under any circumstances, sad, happy or angry I remain like this. Actually, I'm angry right now. Big angry!

“But Leva, hiks ..” He's still crying. Boring, accompanying people crying turned out to be very boring. I've never experienced this before.

“See, Leva is fine. Mother no need to cry.”

“But Lewva .. Aaaaaa!” He's getting so-so. My name changed again.

“This school is never boring. There are always fun events.” Said Fairel who came suddenly. This kind of thing he said was fun?

“Samely no!” My objection.

“Because you're filled with gloom!” His ejek.

Is he asking me to fight?

“Home! Joking! You don't always have to take seriously what people say.” Fairel. “Try enjoying your life every time you exhale. Your life means too much for you to waste.”

Fairel was silent for a moment, “Why did I suddenly say that? Leva, did my words just sound cool?”

“Not really.”

“Hahaha. I love your expression that never changes. Like no load, very innocent and innocent, so natural―dan cynical.” He said I was innocent.

He bowed his head, holding a piece of carrot. He said, “Suddenly I want to eat the ground!”

Is there anything stranger than this?

“Unfortunately land can be eaten?”

“Do not know! But I always wondered what it felt like?”

This is the other side of Fairel that I really don't know about. Supposedly in this story, Fairel is the only character who has a normal personality, behaves normally, everything is normal. Butwhy?

“What does it feel like?”

Unbelievable. He really thought about it seriously. Let me be clear, that land tastes really bad. Not that I've ever tried it but imagine I already know it's not good.

“Leva. You want to taste it for me?”

Now he's asking me?

“No want!” Reject me. I really refuse.

“Why? Just try it, it tastes good.”

How could he conclude this was delicious if he himself had never felt it?

“Try it!”

“No want!”

“Come,open mouth!”

That's not possible!

“Leva, open your mouth. Aaaaa!” What the fuck this guy.

“Go there!” I said pissed.

“No before you eat it.” He forced.

I think I want to go home soon.