Filla And Rangga (The Perfect Dream)
Chapter 90

It took 5 minutes finally papa dared to open his voice, after arguing face to face with mama, "Yes, Fanny your sister Fill," said papa trying to calm down.

Filla sobbed, knowing the truth straight from papa's mouth made her speechless.

"Fanny was 5 years old at the time, you two were everywhere, you loved Fanny more than anything, you had to suck it," said papa.

Filla pitted her face withstanding the tears that made her gaze blurry.

"That day was all Papa's fault, Papa was late to pick you two up and you guys ...," papa caught his breath. "You walked out of the school gate and Fanny ran into the street unnoticed by anyone" said the father, trying to hold back his tears.

Recalling Fanny after burying her long in memory created some wounds that had not even healed back agape.

"The accident happened, you two got hit by a car and...,"

Papa rubbed Mama's shoulder which shook because of her crying, "Your hand never separated from Fanny, Papa sure at the last moment Fanny he was not lonely because of you," said the father who also sobbed.

Filla cupped her face, she could not hold back her crying anymore, her body went up and down because of her crying.

Filla tried to erase his arithmetic and looked at my mom and dad, "So much to say why you never told Filla, it's been 14 years you've been hiding from me," Filla turned her right to wipe away her tears.

Filla remembered Fanny's hand which she held, felt cold, she remembered Fanny's pale face lying paved in front of her, Filla remembered the last time she looked at Fanny's tears coming out of the corner of her eyes.

"That day you two were taken to the hospital, you survived but the little Fanny lost a lot of blood" said the mother, sobbing, remembering Fanny's pale face before her.

"It's a big teroma for Mama, Papa especially for you Fill, you feel guilty for all the events, we try to find the best doctor to make you recover, we try to find the best doctor to make you recover, until you finally wake up and come back cheerful like nothing happened, you erase Fanny in your memory, and we're grateful for that even though we always feel guilty trying to forget Fanny," mama said then returned to squandering papa's embrace, shedding her tears.

Filla cupped her face with both hands, Filla's breathing felt tight, she held her chest holding tight inside there.

"Fill, calm down" said Vino knowing the state of Filla.

"It's all my fault" said Filla with sobs.

Mama approached and carried Filla in her arms, "It's not your fault, sister, there's nothing wrong" said Mama while rubbing Filla's hair, she was afraid Filla would again feel guilty like 14 years ago.

"If I could pull Fanny's hand back then, Fanny would still be with us Ma" Filla shed her tears in her arms.

"It's not your fault Filla, even Fanny must know how much you love her, Papa was grateful when we were not at Fanny's side at that time, you replaced her with Fanny at her last moment," said papa.

Filla took off her arms, "Filla wants to be alone" said Filla, then ran up the stairs into her room.

"Filla, Filla," Mama was about to chase Filla but papa's hand held her back. "Pa, Mama doesn't want anything to happen to Filla," said Mama looking into papa's eyes deeply.

Papa pulls Mama in his arms, "Filla is fine, Papa believes Filla just needs time alone now, Filla is strong, she can definitely accept all this," said papa calmed mama.

******

Filla was sitting in front of her bedroom door after locking the door, guilt continued to dominate her mind, Fanny's agonized face spinning in her brain.

Filla pulled her hair upset, she forgot Fanny in 14 years, even for her sake Papa and Mama also tried to forget Fanny, she felt terrible guilt.

Filla raised her face staring at the window that was covered in curtains but still emanated the bias of the afternoon sun.

Filla stared fixedly at the music box that Tita seemed to be hiding last night, Filla walked up to her desk and grabbed her music box.

Filla's legs felt weak unable to support his weight. Filla sat down while hugging Fanny's music box which had always been hidden from her.

"Fanny sorryin Brother, sister lupain you," Filla hugged Fanny's music box tightly and shed her tears, as if hugging Fanny through the music box.

"Bad brother is with you," Filla spilled out her tears, Filla hit her head in annoyance, her 14 years of memory locked and living life fine, Filla felt guilty over Fanny.

Slowly Filla opened the music box staring at the swivel comedy beautifully moving while pulling out the lullaby music.

Filla shut her mouth holding back a cry, "Fanny," he said as he touched the slow moving swivel comedy.

*******

"Sir, aren't you sniffing?" ask Vino in front of Filla's room door.

Mama and Papa stood behind Vino with worried gazes, since yesterday Filla had not come out of his room, even they asked Vino to contact Filla, but still Filla locked herself in the room without doing anything.

"Fill, Brother enter forcibly if you are still upset for self-harm" warned Vino hoping Filla would open the door to her room. But still the same, Filla did not budge.

"Tante, Uncle, Vino can pinch the duplicate key?" asked Vino who immediately grabbed the nod of mama.

Papa opens the drawer in front of Filla's room, then loosens the key inside, papa gives it to Vino.

"I'll try to talk to Filla, let me talk to him both," said Vino asked for permission.

Papa and Mama who hoped for Vino only nodded in agreement, although the worry of eating them to sleep since yesterday, they were afraid that Filla would return to her guilt to affect her health.

Vino opens the door and enters Filla's room after closing the door, "Dec," calls Vino, but there is still no answer from Filla.

Vino stared at the balcony door that opened with the curtains moving in the wind, Vino walked towards the balcony, sure Filla was there, sure Filla daydreamed looking at the sky, it was obvious that much Filla thought saw his eyes.

"Fill," call Vino while holding onto Filla's shoulder.

Filla turned around with her face holding back her cries.

Vino immediately took Filla into his arms, "You may cry, but the promise after this never cry again," said Vino Sabil stroked the top of Filla's head which was now sobbing in his arms.

"I feel guilty Brother," said Filla with tears that wet his face, I don't know how many tears he has shed since yesterday, even his eyes look tired.

"It's not your fault Deck, Ajal, death is in the hands of God, means God loves Fanny so Fanny goes before us, Fanny must also be proud to have your kayak brother," vino is calming.

Filla was still sobbing in Vino's arms.

Vino took off his arms from Filla and then held onto Filla's two shoulders, "See Big Brother."

Filla raised her face looking at Vino.

Vino exhaled, there was a pain that he also felt seeing Filla so fragile, "With you continue to feel separated, Fanny will also be burdened with Fill, sincerely him, and with you, trying to live better let him be proud to have your sister," said Vino gave strength to Filla with his serious speech and gaze.

Filla nodded, she wiped away her tears, right Vino said, Fanny will be overwhelmed with her guilt.

Vino rubbed the top of Filla's head and smiled, "You're a great Kaka" Vino said sincerely.

Filla squandered into Vino's arms that felt soothing, Vino's chest field was the most comfortable place to spill her feelings, Vino's words made her feel better now.

Without them knowing since Rangga noticed them from his house, a split second he threw a sponge washing his motorcycle rough and then entered the house.

******