For A Husband Who Doesn't Love Me
20. Cowardly

Kirana confusion. The direction they were taking turned out to be heading to his own apartment. "We're not going to eat first, Yat?"

"So... But in the cafe near your apartment. Let it be after eating, you can go straight in and rest..." Hidayat replied as he turned his motorbike to the cafe he was heading to.

"But I want to take a walk first with you, Yat... I don't want to go home yet..." Kirana's protest sounded sad.

"You need to rest, and I need to get home soon, too..." Hidayat answered while opening his helmet when he stopped his bike there.

Kirana with a heavy heart according to. He intended to hold Hidayat's hand, but Hidayat even went into the cafe first.

Once inside, Hidayat looked for an empty table in the most corner position. "What do you want to order?"

"What the hell... The important thing is that you are..." Kirana answered while looking closely at Hidayat's face. He tried to find an answer to his confusion about the sudden change in Hidayat's attitude to himself.

Hidayat made an order, then refocused on Kirana. "Where is your father's condition?"

"Dad?" Kirana's face turned sad. "Emmm..."

"About? You still can't tell me, huh? Doesn't matter..." Hidayat.

"My father's pain is getting worse, Yat... When I arrived, my father couldn't move his body at all. Fathering... Dad..." Kirana was crying sadly.

Hidayat looked at him with a concerned face. He was about to calm Kirana down, but his hand he held back. His pity made him stop to convey his intentions that he had planned from before.

"What is your father sick, Kiran? What exactly happened to him?" Tanya Hidayat tried to be a good listener for Kirana. All this time Hidayat only knew Kirana's father was sick, without him knowing what pain really was.

"Two years ago my father fell down the stairs... I just started my career in the entertainment world, and I have to be strong for that. Dad was paralyzed, so he couldn't move his limbs, except for his head and his hands..." Kirana wiped her tears.

"It's my first time telling a story, and I feel comfortable if it's you the listener, Yat... You never take me low, and you always keep my feelings... You never asked for more from me in return, even though you gave more than you could, and I know that... You patiently faced me, and never suspected me at all... I'm not lying, Yat... I need to, and I'm desperate..."

Hidayat nodded, assuring himself that he understood Kirana's feelings. However, he is more sure if the current feeling is only left pity to see the wounds borne by the woman who is still her lover.

"I'm sure you can get through this, Kiran..."

"Yes, if you're with me..." Firmly Kirana while looking at Hidayat with full of supplication.

Hidayat was stunned for a while. Just as she was about to say, Kirana started telling me again.

"Now my father can only move his eyeballs, Yat... My father was completely paralyzed... I had no one to complain about, even though people thought I was in a decent life... In fact, I work day and night, even until dawn, but I can't cover everything... My stepmother also always presses me..."

***

It was half ten in the night, Hidayat just arrived at the yard of the house. He saw that all the lights of the house had gone out, except for the lights of his room. He firmly believes that Maira is waiting for his return.

Hidayat let out a heavy breath. His mind was so chaotic, considering how cowardly he was that he did not dare to make a decision.

Maira's words a few days ago ringed in her ear. He was anxious, afraid that he would not be able to face the disappointment in his wife's heart later.

Hidayat slowly opened the door of the room, then he looked around. His eyes did not show his wife everywhere. Anxiety roiled his heart, a worry that was too excessive since he met Kirana again earlier.

"Maira's..." He tried to call softly.

"Maira's..." Repeatedly again. But Maira has not yet said. He started to get nervous, then rushed to the bathroom.

"Maira's..." Call Hidayat with breath starting to tight. He was surprised when the bathroom door opened suddenly before he could hold the doorknob.

"Astaghfirullah hal'azhiim, Brother?" Maira said no less surprised.

"Maira's crying?" Tanya Hidayat while flanking Maira's cheeks. He looked at Maira's reddened eyes with a restless feeling.

Maira was made nervous by him, and then held Hidayat's hand while returning Hidayat's clingy gaze. "Abang's home, huh? Sorry, Maira didn't listen... Maira just got out of the bathroom..."

Maira wiped away her tears that were still flowing. Implied pain from the look of his face, making Hidayat more confused and also anxious.

"What's up, Maira? What the hell's going on? Why is Maira crying?" Hidayat asked so frantically, then led Maira to bed.

Hidayat continued to look at Maira as he pleased. Although he did not know what was happening, his heart was so frightened. Excess fear remembers if Maira knew about her relationship with Kirana.

"Maira didn't know at all before, Bang..." Maira said as much as possible to hold back her crying.

"What's up, Maira?" Ask Hidayat again timidly.

"Maira had read Zahra's book..." Maira back sobbing.

Hidayat. He was a little relieved to hear Maira's confession, but he also felt sorry to see his wife crying so much.

"It turns out, they are indeed a true couple... There are many things they go through together. I like the suffering of both... And Zahra's willingness to bang Ajiz with his treasure and his whole life... Brother Zahra is a noble hearted woman... Although he was the main role in this book, but still brother Zahra wrote carefully his role... No one meant arrogance to him... Maira was so moved when brother Zahra hid about the calamity that befell the Ajiz bang to all of us, also along with hiding the anxiety of his heart to the Ajiz bang about the calamity experienced by Brother Rianur... Are there women like that? Is there a wife like that, Bang?"

Maira looked at Hidayat with a very deep feeling. Her tears became more and more unbearable as she retold her husband's sister.

Hidayat rubbed Maira's wet cheek, then he nodded. "Maira... Maira is like brother Zahra seen by Brother... Maira's a good wife, even though you're not a good husband..."

"Maira misses brother Zahra... Maira wants to see Zahra again... Maira wants to be hugged by Zahra, Bang..."

Hearing that, Hidayat immediately grabbed Maira. Buried his wife's head into his chest. Her eyes are red. He was also the same, suddenly so missed his late brother.

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