The End of Hope
19 Eps. What True Love?

The voice of Adzan Maghrib echoed from the mosque around Naya's house. The voice of the most longed faithful who love his worship. A call to a Muslim means victory if it is fulfilled.

Naya rushes to wake her sleeping husband after completing his wish. The hormone endhorpin that comes out of the body after intercourse usually triggers drowsiness and makes most men fall asleep once it is done reaching the top.

"Kanda, let's get up, take a junub bath. It's maghrib." Naya said a little sniffly.

After waking Rudian, he himself prepared to wear his prayer equipment. While Rudian seemed to stretch the muscles in his body and went to the bathroom.

Naya does not wait for Rudian to perform congregational prayers, because usually he will go to congregational prayers at the mosque when the Maghrib time and is at home.

Some time running, now Rudian was back at home. He greeted Naya who was still sitting on the prayer mat.

"It's over, hasn't it?" ask Rudian. Naya who heard Rudian say hello, hurriedly wiped away her dripping tears by herself without being asked.

Tears are a cure for a wounded heart, usually after crying, the woman will regain the strength to face everything she has to face.

Naya nodded, then cleared her prayer kit. Immediately prepare the dinner that he had made when Rudian slept earlier.

"Well, what are you cooking?"

"It's normal" Naya replied shortly.

He still looks upset. Problems won't be solved as easily as flipping a palm, right? And the pain will not go away as easily as breathing out.

"It doesn't taste salty, does it?"

"Why do you eat" said Naya while serving Rudian take rice for him.

"Because mix your tears, Nay"

Hearing Rudian's words, Naya pursed her lips.

'Not funny, you know'

"Thank you, Nay" Rudian said as he enjoyed the meal.

"Make what?"

"Yes, earlier. I don't think you're going to serve me"

'Serving the husband is mandatory, right?'

Naya just kept quiet, she picked up a little rice on her plate and ate lazily. Untasteful. Everything feels bland.

'Are you sure to sing Kanda? I still want to be with you even though I know you've married another woman. Everything you have done is not my responsibility. I'll see, how you'll behave later.'

"Nay, your cooking is as good as ever. You're a sholehah's wife, Nay. You want me to marry again. Can I stay at Yola's tonight?"

'I usually don't ask for permission either. It has often not come home turned out to have slept there, right?'

Naya sighed, she stared at Rudian intensely. If he could choose, he would choose to be crushed like his current feelings, crushed like dust and lost in the wind. But a leaf that falls God knows, especially about him at this time. Of course, Allah is Omniscient. Now it remains how he as a man of His creation faces his problems.

Whatever decision he makes in this matter will be entirely his own responsibility. Man only tries to do his best. Be faithful to the good and wait for what happens next.

"Don't do it, Nay. Now you know, right? Time cannot. That's not fair"

"You're talking unfairly to him? Then where's justice for Naya, Nda? all this time Kanda lied and did not give a living because all the salary kanda spent to pay the house installments, then now the nights and time together must be divided, is this fair, Nda?!"

"I mean just don't want you to hurt, Nay."

"But in the end it still hurts too, right? Especially now, kanda? It's his name wants to be happy alone without thinking of his wife!" naya said a little loudly.

"I thought of you, Nay. This house is for us too. So it's only natural that we should both pay it off."

"But what's good about having another wife is just you, Nda. I didn't!"

"Keep, now, what do you want? I have to go to Yola's house tonight, she's still craving, Nay"

'Is it permissible for a husband to do unfairly on the grounds that one wife is pregnant while the other is not?'

"And I have to understand, right? It's all Kanda's business, right?"

"Yes, that's why... As a sholeh wife it is willing that her husband divide his nights."

"If the matter of right always brings up about the wife of sholehah. But how sholeh husband doesn't know... Kanda must find additional knowledge from now on, how the boundaries are fair in the household" said Naya, silent for a moment sigh, controlling emotions.

"If noon Kanda has divided time also for him, right? now is the time for me dong?"

"Naya.." said Rudian softly, he walked over to Naya, hugging and smelling her head without the hijab, the smell of shampoo evaporating from her hair. He tried to melt Naya's heart.

"I know your love for me is true love, and you've been a good wife all along. That's why I said it to you. I will divide the nights fairly. Last night for you and last night for Yola. How's it?"

'Is that the measure of true love? That true love is a love that can survive despite being hurt? Then I choose not to have that love. What true love? Sweetheart can indeed be many and abundant as foam in the ocean, but love, where is there love that can be shared?'

Naya quietly did not answer, she chose to monologue with her heart, then escape from Rudian's embrace. He glanced at Rudian at a glance like he was beckoning, whatever.

With a quick step Naya headed to the room letting Rudian who was still glued by the sofa. He seemed to be letting out heavy bafas repeatedly, then left Naya who was busy comforting herself by crying in bed.

'Will I be strong? o Allah. The weight of this test. I have to how, God, it really hurts when the love of the husband must be shared, the kiss, the warmth of his embrace, the caress of his affection, his living, everything, not only I feel, but I feel, there are other women who have it as well..who are strong women treated like this? Like the self is worthless anymore'

-

That afternoon Naya walked home from the convenience store, her food supply was running low. He deliberately did not order a motorcycle taxi or take public transportation because walking alone was like making simple entertainment, as simple as his desire to be able to forget for a moment the heavy burden that lately filled the back of his heart.

The heart wound was invisible, but the pain was real and heartbreaking.

From this afternoon Naya's stomach ached, ***** eating bad which made her gastritis recur. Usually he treated it by drinking sour turmeric. But this time he let the pain go. He held it down without telling anyone.

Suddenly his stomach ache wrapped around, Naya tried to relieve him by squatting for a while on the sidewalk. He bought medicine. He kept his shopping bag near his feet and looked for the medicine he had bought.

"What are you doing here?" ask a voice in front of him.

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*pen end*