The End of Hope
68 Eps. Peace With the State of Lagil

Naya cried no further to her words because of the great sadness. He just clasped Rudian's hand tightly. Everything she wanted to say was gone for a moment, she called out to Rudian gently and shook her body, but her husband remained motionless. It's like pinsan.

To Sarita's astonishment, she thinks that maybe Naya thinks Rudian is dead. It was only natural that he would cry like this. Sarita patted Naya on the shoulder and asked, saying,

"Why are you crying, Nay? Rudian had just gone to sleep, from earlier complaining of a headache."

Naya turned to Sarita while wiping away the rest of her tears, she nodded and replied, "There's nothing. Just sad. Why did the process hurt Rudi so quickly that it changed. Yesterday was like that too."

Eventually Naya decides to shut up, saving everything for herself.

With Naya's words, he understands now that Rudian is not showing symptoms in a better direction but is getting worse.

Naya sat on the sofa watching television, changed some chanel and turned it off again because there was nothing interesting. He was more happy if the event he saw was a motorcycle race.

Sarita sat down near Naya, saying, "Aren't you lying, Nay? What's actually going on. Why are you crying?"

"Mom believes I said I was pregnant but didn't?"

"Ko, could. Not what does that mean?"

Naya told him everything, from the beginning until finally she cried in front of Rudian, she spilled everything she thought about her future fetus, but she did not say anything because it was useless, it was useless, feeling that Rudiam will not remember him, let alone his condition ssmakin decreased.

Hearing Naya's story, Sarita takes a deep breath and approaches Naya and hugs her. Then he said, "I'm sorry, I."

"Mother is not wrong, why apologize" said Naya and Reply hugged her mother-in-law.

Almighty God turns the hearts of men upside down. No matter how hard the human heart may be, if Allh wills to guide him, there will be no one to stand in his way.

And now, when Sscara is unconscious, the test that befell Naya is the way for Sarita to realize her mistake, realizing that she is Naya's mother-in-law, he should not say anything beyond his control as an ordinary man. For he will not know what He wills.

That is, if there is an event that occurs in humans involving other humans, it could be a test for someone but it could also be a help for others. Subhanallah.

-

That morning Naya woke up before dawn, she went out of the house because she heard the sound of an electric token had indicated asking to be recharged. Naya took the initiative to self-charge her home's electrical pulses today. Not much of anything important could make that noise stop. He smiled, remembering that while still living in this house, he always filled it without ever asking Rudian for money.

Now, after a few months of living here again, it was Yolalah who always replenished his electricity tokens. The woman actually fulfilled her promise to finance all her needs, including paying her home installments. Rudian quit his job automatically, Yola had already made him his resignation letter. So he got some money for his last severance.

Every day Naya always cooks for everything on the sidelines of her busy caring for Rudian. But he never shopped, Yola who had met the needs of his kitchen. No problem for Naya, as long as he does not spend a penny because he does not work and his savings are very thin.

Before the dawn prayer, Naya cleansed Rudian of his usual uncleanness and invited him to pray. When Naya changed her clothes, Rudian woke up looking at Naya with a strange look, looking like he was looking at someone else.

"Who, you?" tanya Rudian made Naya stunned almost in disbelief. But Naya tried to calm down, she replied after taking a deep breath, "I'm Naya. I'm your wife." smiled as she finished her activities.

Rudian frowned, then said as he looked back at Naya with a slightly changed look on his face,

"May? You're Naya? We got married six years ago..."

"Yes, do you remember now?"

"Remember, the time I forgot."

Naya smiled and went to kill him, to get some ablution water. Then he went back to the room to pray but when he saw Rudian had closed his eyes, he fell asleep again. Naya tries to wake him up, but to no avail.

'She should pray, but her condition may already have rukhsoh or leniency for her'

Naya performed the dawn prayer for longer, hoping Rudian woke up and remembered to pray before his time was up. Lately Rudian's memory has begun to diminish. When he wakes up he will ask who he is and when they chat, what Rudian talks about is his childhood. In Rudian's memory, he was a child, always smiling at Naya with an innocent and innocent smile as if they had met for the first time and Naya was a stranger to him.

Naya made breakfast, for everyone. He knew Yola had to go to work in the morning as usual. The woman did not know much about her husband, she rarely asked Naya anything. So did Dero, he always went from coming home with Yola, going wherever they both went.

During this time Naya's chat friends were Rudian or Sarita and Sania when they came to see the situation and helped take care of Rudian.

"Ngapain, you're Naya? You're having fun on your own, aren't you?" asked Yola there was a sense of unwillingness in her tone.

He had taken a shower and was about to change clothes with clothes that were covered. As long as Naya was there, the door of the room was never closed let alone the key.

At that time he saw Naya hugging Rudian who was still telling his childhood story as usual. Naya enjoys moments like this because she feels that someday everything she has experienced with her this time will be a story, whether tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or the day after.

'Ahk, she must be jealous and thinking dirty about us'

"Rudian, take a look. Who's she?" naya said as she sat down from her fall on the side of Rudian's body. He looked at Rudian affectionately. Rudian turned to Yola.

"Who are you?" asked Rudian while furrowing his brows. Rudian's question This made Yola widen her eyes in disbelief at what she heard.

"You don't really remember who I am?" ask Yola wonder. Naya smiled in response to Yola's shock. Of course he was surprised because he never took care of Rudian.

"Me, Yola. Your wife! The time you forgot?"

"Yola?" asked Rudian again to upset Joa.

"Either, don't accuse anyone of being reckless, where he may have a taste when he doesn't remember who we are, let alone me..." Naya said she almost shed her tears.

Already lost all taste with the person who almost forgot all the sweet memories they both had.

Then Naya said all about Rudian's disease. It's gonna happen sooner or later. He does not expect to be forgotten in this way, more painful than to forget himself. Looking in front of him, loved ones forget about him.

The pain was like it was no longer important to be in question now. It is truly heartache, hate, disappointment and anger that is meaningless if all humans will eventually just forget each other and want their lives to be happy.

After Yola understood what she was facing, she left after changing clothes with a bad feeling. It will also be forgotten. Her pregnancy has entered her last trimester. She should give birth to her child without a father.

Naya pats Yola on the shoulder while she is in the house about to work and says,

"May Rudian still have time to see his son born, and the Adhan in his ears," hearing Naya's words Yola cried.

"When are you taking maternity leave?"

"Be careful, take good care of yourself, there is no husband with you" Naya said.

After Yola's departure, Naya's phone rang. There was a call from Nuria, mother. The woman reported that she had sent the herbal medicine that Naya ordered, in recent months, she always took the herbal medicine to restore the condition of her uterus after being scratched. He ordered a decoction made by Nuria herself, a mixture of pearl grass, gotu kola leaves and mangosteen peel, which is also useful for the health of women, both internal organs and skin.

"How much is everything, auntie?" naya asked after Nuria reported that she had sent her package would arrive soon.

"No need, just save your money, you need it more than I do. You're not working anymore, are you?"

"Yes, aunt. Thank you" that's all Naya said. On the other hand he gets unpleasant speech from Yola, on the other hand he gets entertainment from his mother.

Allah is All-Aware of His Word, and among the difficulties there is ease. Among the troubles, there is pleasure.

-

It was a pretty sunny afternoon this weekend. The umpteenth afternoon that became a witness for Naya invited Rudian to walk around the residential complex, filling his spare time while waiting for magrib time to arrive.

Until a field that is overgrown with weeds, Rudian patted Naya's hands behind his shoulders to stop the push of his wheelchair. The field was close to a small valley and could see the sunset there clearly. There were some children playing in the north corner, there were also some mothers who were chatting in the other corner.

Naya sat on a stone there near Rudian pointing one way, asking him to look at an old tree.

"You remember when we first lived in this house, we stood in that tree hugging each other shamelessly?" he said, taking Naya's one hand over her thigh and patting her gently.

Naya stared fixedly at Rudian, she could not believe Rudian would remember all that at this moment. Naya approached, crouched down near Rudian's feet and clasped his hands.

"What else do you remember?" tanya Naya was enthusiastic.

"That's all, sorry... Come on, remind me again about everything, before all we ever do is just stories and memories" Rudian said with a smile that contained a lot of meaning to Naya. In a conscious state, Rudian will communicate well, but when he forgets, mak he will be like a child.

The brain that controls all organs, cells, hormones in the body, when the brain is in trouble then all will be disturbed.

Naya drops her tears, and Rudian's hands are stretched out to remove them.

"I'm sorry."

It was always what Rudian said, as if he was afraid that Naya would not forgive her mistakes. Perhaps when Yola was by his side at the moment, when Rudian was conscious, he would get the same apology. Many times Rudian woke up just asking Naya, "Who are you?" and it would close its eyes again after Naya answered gently and smiled sweetly, "I am Naya, your wife," he just wants to carve sweet memories for himself because for Rudian he will be forgotten and so meaningless. He doesn't want to regret it someday. This is a very good opportunity when God gives a person time to know when he will be separated by death.

"Yes, I've forgiven you."

"You are beautiful" Rudian said again, with an expression as if he had just first seen and fallen in love with Naya.

Naya pulled Rudian's hand in her grasp and kissed him and kissed him on the cheek, saying, saying,

"You're also handsome."

"I'm old.I can't be attractive to other women?" said Rudian joking. Naya was happy, Rudian was joking, they were laughing together. Naya had no idea, that it was her last time seeing Rudian being able to joke around with her.

"Do you still want to fall in love?" ask Naya.

"Yes, I will fall in love with you many times I will too. Not sick. Even happy," said Rudian made Naya smile and her face red.

'Fall in love before the time between us is really over'

"I'm also in love with you again" said Naya reflexly hugging Rudian in her wheelchair.

"Stay like this. Don't sleep anymore." whispered Naya.

Rudian rewinded his body, he wanted to see Naya's face still shedding tears. The increasingly thin fingers rubbed his face.

"If only I could. Don't cry when you face me, yeah...I don't want to see your face sad when I get to see you last time."

'If you could see me the last time before all your organs don't work, you wouldn't even remember my name anymore'

Naya nodded then stood up and pushed her wheelchair back home. After arriving home, Rudian's head was already tilted to the side, with his eyes closed.

'Rudi, are you asleep? What if he falls? sleep like this'

Naya calls Sarita and wants to do an examination for Rudian because now things like this happen often, she is worried that she is still sitting in a wheelchair but then falls. They agreed to take Rudian to the doctor who had handled Rudian, the next day.

-

Arriving at the hospital, the three of them with a taxi driver helped Rudian sit back in his wheelchair. Bastian couldn't drive because of his busyness. They took an elevator to the doctor's office where they were to consult.

After a consultation and the doctor performed an examination, the doctor said,

"Mom, there's nothing we can do but wait for the time to come. Should not be taken often in a wheelchair yes, worry if suddenly he is not aware."

"So, when he's sleeping it's not that sleep, doc?" tanya Naya was a little incredulous.

"Yes, mom. It was unconscious. So careful. I also did not expect it to be this fast, I think it will still last more than a year. But it hasn't been six months. Patient mother." said the doctor ending his consultation.

The three men walked to the elevator. There are still many people waiting. Naya's waiting for her turn. Sarita asks permission to ketoilet, but she wants to cry there. Since then, he could not hold back his tears. He knew he would be separated from his son soon.

"Mom, I wait below" said Naya and Sarita nodded. Then he went to the toilet.

Naya has entered the elevator, she is there alone because the queue is up. He was sitting limp near Rudian's chair, the man closed his eyes, whether he was a tweezer or not.

Feeling alone, Nayapun cried. Trying to make peace with the situation, which repeatedly get the test. He did not realize after he entered, there was a person who kept the elevator door from closing and the person entered behind Naya.

The man sat down next to Naya and said, "Why are you crying again?"

'Again? What does that mean again? I hope it's not him, it's not him! but that voice.ahk!'