Falling Into Your Trap
Bro Time: One-Sided Feelings and Decisions (Hurt or Be Hurt)

As an only child who was often left out of work by both parents, Alpino grew up as a more reclusive figure about his personal feelings. He prefers to shut it down by doing silly or going out to play with his friends. He could not open his mouth to make a sound when he felt personally hurt, but he always mentioned it implicitly through a joke that was not too serious. Maybe in the eyes of his friends Alpino is a cheerful and jolly figure, responsible and trustworthy by others. He is also good at leading groups and also smart. Yes, it is smart to hide his feelings behind his bright and charming smile, as well as the silliness of his play.

Alpino does look very honest and transparent, but that's all because only he's smart about hiding his most personal feelings, which he always takes care of and hides deeply, buried so well somewhere inside himself that only he knows how sick he feels, how deep he is and how deep the wound is. But the thing is, Alpino who always enjoyed every little part of his life was never as broken as he felt the heartbreak for the first.

He did not even realize how he had entered his house with teary eyes, his face subdued, hidden under his hoodie hood and rushed into his room, it makes both parents confused by the attitude of the child. He also did not realize how he had sobbed loudly behind the bathroom and the water from the faucet he had turned on in full, trying to cover up all the sounds of his crying that were kicking the wound.

The heartbreak made him feel defeated. Fractions that have not formed, resembling fragments can no longer be glued together. His heart was broken and his bleeding hand could not reach the scattered fragments, no longer being able to find the strongest glue to make it whole. There was a gaping hole with a wide, first-time pain that left him exhausted. The smile that usually adorned his face was gone and could not be formed. All he knew was sleep and sleep so that the pain would no longer bother him.

Alpino remembers how he closed his eyes from morning to morning. His room was always dark, his parents even decided to take a day off from their work to make sure he was okay, but he didn't want to be bothered at all. No one should disturb him and leave him in the darkness and the heartbreak that dominates him. Let her cry and fall asleep, let her heal in her own way.

That's what he thinks. Healing in his own way.

But in fact, when he laughs today, there is never a perfect healing word for him. Although her smile reappeared when someone who made her feel as sick as it was insisted on visiting her and making sure that she was okay, the fragments of her heart were still scattered. His heart has small holes that if filled with water will make it seep everywhere. Although Lisa showed her concern and concern that Alpino was very fond of, Alpino himself would not be able to touch the word cured at all.

But all she knows is that Lisa is there for her. It wasn't Lisa who was wrong. It was not the woman who had to take responsibility with the destruction of her heart. Alpino wanted to blame Sinar, or even someone who had already taken Lisa before he even started. But he can't. It was all his to bear. His feelings are his own that he must control.

Everything wouldn't hurt that much if he didn't fall for his own best friend. Everything would not hurt if he could control his feelings.

So, everything is his own fault. Alpino is the wrong guy. However, her feelings will never go wrong because Lisa is someone who deserves to be loved. But the perception of love here should not be as someone who wants to have. Alpino should have been aware, he had to create distance and boundaries.

But who is he? Only someone is weak in love. Only someone loses out on his feelings. Only someone who has fallen too deep in the abyss of comfort and charm of his best friend.

“I guess you like Lisa”

And unfortunately, Hala's voice at that time, again broke his heart. Why should she make him aware of her feelings?

Of course, what made her think like that was the photo that Lisa sent to her, but it was not Lisa's fault, nor was it the fault of the cherry blossoms or dandelions that her best friend was holding. Nor was it the fault of Lisa's sweet smile that made her meet and rattled her weak heart.

Surely it's. He wanted to blame someone else but himself. And perhaps, for most of her life, Hala participated in the turning point of her life. She blames Hala for most of the time for making her feelings sober.

The woman is also to blame.

...…....

“Wah is really a demon yes, lo, Al”

Alpino stared at Hexa with a grin. He did indeed deliberately hold onto Hexa's gaze when he blamed someone who had already introduced and brought Hexa to him so that they could get to this point to pour out each other's feelings that only they could tell joint. It is true that Alpino is someone who holds fast to his pain, but the presence of Hexa and Fajri changes everything.

Alpino recalls first regurgitating his pain that time and suddenly he could breathe fresh air and even he could be awake from morning to morning because his load felt lighter most of the time. It was a bit exaggerated indeed, but once he settled on the worries and pain he had been craving for most of his life, he felt freer from the snare of madness and frustration that loomed over him.

“That's why I'm called a mulu demon, Sa. Crazy lo. It's really reacting only when I say the name Hala doang” Alpino laugh. Shaking his drink before returning to grinning seductively at the man who was now grumbling next to Fajri.

“Not that problem, dog. That is, from the whole story lo ya must be wrong not Hala, dong. Nyalahin Bang Sinar ajalah, dogs. He made you stop before you started. Yes want what else the name of the feeling of where you can be erratic. Satan”

“Wah your mouth should be cleaned using holy water, Sa. I was horrified to hear him” He laughed, more loose this time because the fog of stress in the end disappeared from his head. The feeling of heaviness had already started to dissipate, he was calmer this time in a good way.

“Diem lo! I again discuss who is wrong here, who hurts you so far and who is even lo salahin. Emang already no sane lo at all” Hexa sneered, still sound annoyed somehow because of what. Yes, actually Alpino at least knows what makes Hexa sneer like that. At least he could feel something implied by Hexa, perhaps.

“Hala doang lo turn very fast show, yes, Sa” Apino taunt, tease his friend who was replied with a flat look not impressed. “Not about Hala anjir!” the boy's response sounded very serious. His pouting deepened.

“Jri?” Alpino called Fajri who was still silent. Usually the child is more active to talk after he tells about things like this. But the thing was now, he seemed to be thinking hard and just keeping quiet. His eyes flickered a few times when called out before a sigh sounded so heavy.

“Yeah, why are you breathing so heavy? It wasn't supposed to be me, was it?”

Melting the atmosphere was the thing he had to do this time. Alpino doesn't want to sound or feel awkward around. He didn't want this conversation to sound more serious than it should have been because otherwise, he would not be able to handle his feelings and the sadness he endured desperately from the start from the beginning due to returning to recall his self-destruction and feelings.

“Ya, not gitu” Fajri laughs. “I should want to tease you about your first meeting with Lisa, or comment on this about life lo” he continued. “But the problem here, I still can't believe Bang Sinar setega is the same lo, Al. He should not stop your steps about this thing” again, a sigh released like Fajri was thinking and feeling too hard inside.

“Hmm, how, ya” Alpino looked up, looking up at the night sky in search of one star that was often his focal point when he was there, he said, but this time the clouds covered him so that he could not see that one particular star. “At first I thought Bang Sinar emang evil. But I can't blame him because he's trying to keep my feelings, Jri. He didn't want to break my heart, so he made me promise him that I could understand where I was standing and understand the choices I had to make. So, Bang Sinar is innocent here” He wants to bite his tongue when speaking, but he can't.

“But you dare to turn on Hala, you have gone crazy, lo” Hexa again replied.

“Yes Allah is a child, my gem, I swear” Alpino laughed when Fajri said and elbowed Hexa, making the man grimace. “Can stop bucin first no, anyway?” later sneers.

“Aaan?! No one's bucin, anjir. Just yeah, there's a crazy kid. It was clear that the wrong Bang Sinar made him so even wrong others. Stress”

“Yes Allah, Sa. Why are you even emotional, anyway?” The head bobble he gave to Hexa. Amused himself because the boy looked like he was very, very upset.

Hexa's eyes glared with exasperation emitted. “Yes how I do not feel, but you are the same Bang Sinar alright. Also often mabar, even often take to the arcade together, right? And the one who hurt you, he. I can't imagine as sick as what it's like to pretend to be okay

“Gue does not pretend to be all right like you said kok” Alpino said quickly. “Gue equals Bang Sinar emang all right. Bang Sinar is also a fun person, really. I told you, Bang Sinar just wanted to express my feelings. I just want what's best for me. He told me the worst part of the feeling I had and he gave me a warning and a choice. Only, yes, the guy who chose this path, which maybe he said wrong, but I think it's right. Bang Sinar has shown that he actually loves me”

His heart felt tight, yet he ignored it. “Even though I have the same good rays, even familiar even if you could say, you must know how he saw me around Lisa, right? He pointed out that he did not like me and did not get me to act strangely around his sister. You guys must understand how. But then again, it's because he wants the best for me. So don't be the same emotion as the light, yeah. Udah, ordinary if around him just like you guys are usual”

“Don't because of me you guys don't even like or ngejauhin Bang Sinar. Hadah, just don't be like children deh, this is about me the same him, about my choice too anyway, actually”

There was a long silence after Alpino closed his mouth. The mood is a bit tense. Fajri same Hexa looks trying her best to calm down. They even eat in silence, trying to set the mood to come back good.

“What you deserve is wrong me, anyway, actually-ADUH! Why was I thrown, nyet?!”

Alpino grimaced as he Fajri managed to throw a used cola can into his head. The cheering and giggling sounds of Hexa made Alpino cluck, his eyes staring dumbly at his friends who were having fun with what they were doing now.

“ya problem lo bego, sih” Fajri said.

“Also, we're not kids anymore, not girls either. Why I sewotin and jauhar bang Sinar. That's your problem with him. We also joined in the choice lo also” Hexa followed before adding, “The problem is in your brain, anyway, Al. why do you feel wrong about yourself? Lo mah, studying with this Fajri eat it every time you beat yourself up, where about feeling again. Hadeh, dizziness I”

“Hexa, you don't praise my emotions, yes, anjir”

“Lagian, you two have the same problem, yes. Both have feelings for friends. The difference is that one does not approve his brother, one even cupu even though they both like it -, FAJRI LO DOES NOT NEED TO BE CRAZY!”

Alpino laughed suddenly when he saw Fajri had risen and locked the movement of Hexa. The man overstretched Heksa's body and twisted his hands behind his back, locking the style of a boxer who was wrestling in the ring. Heksa thrashed, while Fajri looked like he was trying to break the hand of the man who was now roaring and uttering a series of dirty sentences that he could think of.

Alpino knows that they are very noisy now, some people who are in the pavilion and who have just come must be disturbed by the noise they create. But who was he to care about when he got up and acted as a referee in the ring, raising his hand to calculate whether Hexa would make it out of Fajri's confinement.

“OI, THIS PREMEDITATED MURDER IS HIS NAME!! FUCKIN' SHIT! OH-UHUK HHH DOG!!!!”

And with the final blow on the head of the gifted Hexah from Fajri, they released the already stranded Fish-like Hexah. The man coughed as if he was dying, drooping on the mat and successfully kicking a glass of drink that was thankfully empty. His face was already flushed red, out of breath from the piercings and roars he let out.

“Emang animal you two, damik”

“Yes, you wake up sleeping lion. Thank you, Sa”

Alpino raised his voice, cleaned up the empty dishes and stacked over to the side so that they did not end up destroying some items from warmindo. Don't want to get into any trouble tonight. Although they were not drunk, they were as noisy as drunken men themselves. Sometimes it sounds silly because this group of only three people can look very peaceful and violent at the same time.

“But I really am! Why am I being tortured when I uncover the facts?” Hexa still retaliated fiercely. His eyes were closed, trying to scoop up more oxygen.

“The fact here is, you don't get me to blame myself, but when I turn Hala, you instantly become fierce. Want you what the hell if you also do not fall for doi? You're like us, yeah, Sa”

“Hah?” Hexa directly sat down. His face looks surprised. The expression he caused was a bit strange as his two eyebrows frowned downward before he spewed out the next word with a more dull expression. “Crazy, lo?”

“No need to pretend to bego, Sa. You have been bego from the beginning so it is not suitable if you make-up so” Fajri gritted. He rubbed his stomach and glanced at his half-living noodle plate, looking like he regretted the decision of the food he had eaten and stopped a moment ago. Since he was a sports teacher who was going to duty the next morning, he felt dead inside for not taking care of his health. But yeah, it's their night and Alpino pays, he doesn't lose too much.

“What is pretending to bego? I don't understand, I swear”

“My order long time lo so, yes, nyet” Fajri snapped. This time it sounded more amused. “Lo can say I'm the same as Fajri but you don't miss. You like Hala too, right? Honestly with us. Udah on tau also although you never tell us the same story other than about crazy game lo same waifu lo, wibu”

Heksa laughed suddenly while pointing at himself as if they were saying the craziest thing he had ever heard. Alpino blinked, Hexa is not pretending. The silliness that was often covered in his sometimes annoying stoic face was clearly visible at this time.

“Do not laugh dong, my stomach hurts, nih” Heksa rubbed his face, scrambled his hair then before smiling amusedly. “If you think I like Hala because I'm angry when Al turns him on, you're really weird, I swear. I'm just like Hala there's nothing, nor do I have any feelings for Hala. I love him, yes, really. He meant it to me, but I swear, he's just my best friend. He's the only person who has the highest caste in my heart for a reason. But I swear I don't like Hala in the romantic context”

Hehaz raised both his hands. His fingers moved to form quotes in the air. His face was very serious, but there was a smile present as if he was confident in his sentence.

“If my problem is sprained because you turn on Hala, it's because it's not Hala's fault. It was Bang Sinar's fault, but I didn't follow about it too” he laughed again later. “When, I never told you about my life? I am very relaxed. I haven't thought about love, seriously. Although the age is already two heads, but I prefer to make my career first. I still dream of working for Nintendo or Sony in Japan like I said to lo all”

“If my current destination is yes, that's it. In addition to keeping Hala doang, sih” when Heksa saw Fajri who wanted to make a sound, he immediately placed the index teak on the man's lips, causing Fajri to reflexively twist his hand. “Aduh, really hold Jihan same lo, yes, Jri. Pake gini hardness every day”

“Jihan is also bar-bar if you forget, Sa” Alpino commented. Her lips were itching to blaspheme when they raised Jihan's name here. Although still in the realm of friendship quarrels. They all understand.

“Oh yes, I forgot, OUCH! DON'T GET ME ANYMORE, SATANNN!!” Heksa brushed off the hand of Fajri who already wanted to hurt him before he ran to sit next to Alpino. His eyes stared intently at Fajri who this time sat down with a thin smile and a straight face that he displayed especially for the two who dared to call on Jihan.

“Gery very much temen lo, Al”

“Temen lo also, nyet”

The two of them were silent when Fajri was ready to declare war. So Hexa and Alpino have the option to ignore and cheat. Heksa continued his defence of the allegations he found.

“Yes, I mean, how, yes. Ngejagain Hala I think I have someone important, like my mother. You know how my relationship is with Hala, right. I swear, yes, I'm surprised if you think I'm the same Hala there's nothing”

“Yes how do not think so if for example you just sleep together with”

“YA IS THE CONTEXT DIFFERENT, ANJIR!!” Hexa again refuted.”It is also sometimes doang. Do you know where I slept with Hala? Well, my words are very ambiguous because of you guys yes, monkey!”

Fajri and Alpino stared at each other. Surprised, but more understanding than they had expected.

“Padahat only nebak doang, but it turns out to be true. Win a lot, you, yeah! Watch out you have a child before marriage”

Alpno suddenly said. He could not filter any more because he was very anxious about the relationship that a Hexa had. The man who introduced her to her was Hala. And as far as Alpino has caught and observed from the two of them, they look like they've been married for a long time. Even Alpino believes, if Hexa and Hala look at each other, they can understand each other. Once upon a time, that's why Alpino believed that Hexa and Hala had a romantic relationship earlier than all of them. But in his surprise, they had nothing against each other.

“EMANG HAS GONE CRAZY LO!!” Heksa stared in horror, suddenly praying his best for his best friend because their brains were no longer sane. “Gue equals Hala nothing. It's final, yeah, dog! Don't think weird!”

“But, Sa, there is no legal department like lo same Hala. There's gotta be something, here. Don't you really have any feelings for Hala? Oath?” Fajri made sure. He would never believe that Hexa and Hala had no relationship whatsoever. There was no feeling whatsoever about everything they had done together.

“Yes Allah! I swear to God, I have nothing with Hala. I also said I was more focused on my work. Same as my dream. I want to make a game, want to work at Nintendo or in any game company, bye, there is an important dream I ahead. How do you believe in me? Wonder, oh God. I have to swear what pocong, anyway? Ah elah”

Hexa sounded frustrated to convince her two friends who were still in shocked mode. Yet another strange silence flooded them. Alpino and Fajri looked at each other, they even discussed the relationship between Hexa and Hala, even chatting and playing the plot for both. How Heksa and Hala were exactly like an old bride, a relationship that was so closely intertwined and had a high sense of trust. But those things are still ambiguous because again the presence of Sinar.

Perhaps, Hexa's indifferent reaction when Sinar approached Hala with a definite goal that seemed very clear was one thing that reinforced the statement about the relationship they both shared. But still, that fact makes them have to convince themselves because of the real distrust that is inversely proportional to what they have noticed for a long time.

Sometimes life is so surprising. One fact they knew was that this friend of his was ambitious for his big dream. Good, but it feels like the highest selfishness.

“Sa,” Alpino calling with hesitation. “Do not hurt Hala, yes?”

Hexa was silent for a moment. This time it was him who let out a deeper breath before speaking.

“If I hurt him it means I'm not sane, Al. I promise to take care of him. I'm trying to make him happy and keep the bad guys away from him. Why do I hurt him if my effort to make his part bigger than anything?”

There was a hint of relief present, the calmness of the confident speech and the seriousness present in every utterance said.

“Even bigger than dream, lo?”

Fajri suddenly raised his voice. Alpino was surprised, his eyes immediately looked for Hexa and of course, the man looked even more resolute. His eyes are sharp and his jaw is hardened. Seriousness was present on his face and if only this were to continue, then the real quarrel would occur.

“Jri, it's enough” he reminded.

Fajri nodded. Waving both of her hands to express implicitly to Hexsa to ignore what she said just now. Hexa was still silent, she did not open her voice. Looks too conflicted.

“Gue apologizes, already, I was wrong it's been outrageous. I forgot we're here to nenangin Alpino instead of nyari noisily the same lo. Just relax, Sa. Forget what I said, okay?”

Fajri tried to calm down. Although he was not very satisfied about things like this, but he could ignore it now. Later, if Hexa will open to them, if Hexa already wants to say something. Maybe, if Hexa had regretted it? Or maybe not even at all. So let it be, not everything has to be shed and not everyone else has to know. So, Fajri again outlined the limits so that things do not happen that are not desirable.

After all, the ones who run it they and Fajri themselves have no idea how Hala really feels. The only ones who knew were Hexa and the woman herself, so she had no right to this.

“Sa? Anjir, don't sulk like a lo” Alpino chick patting on Hexa's shoulder, the company resuscitates the boy from whatever transition he's going through in his head. Hexa squealed then before her posture was more relaxed.

“Gue does not want to say sorry, now in return, you say to us why do not you dare to go forward and clarify your relationship with Jihan? I'm dizzy to see you both feel like drama, anjir”

The tension that had been present gradually began to calm down. Heksa returned to being his more relaxed self in front of the two of them. So, Alpino and Fajri have started to calm down. Returning to tease each other about the sad things that were transformed into a bit of silliness that they could pull off even just a little.

Tonight is a special night of heartbreak, so there are no stories about star constellations or the originators of the earth that are square or flat, or even the historical talk they used to tell, he said, or even more unique and strange things in the world that they managed to find. So, let them feel amused themselves with the important direction of the conversation they feel free and more relieved.

Talking about the heart is a really crucial thing. And tonight is that night.

“Gue again hit, bangsul emang” Fajri rolled his eyes, but he also laughed when Heksa laughed at him. It's okay, as long as everything is comfortable, he has no problem sharing his insecure and emotional feelings that give him a headache. Of course he's the one who makes things complicated, but it's the one thing that can't make him try to cross the line because things are not going right if he's determined to do that.

“Gue is still the same as the last time I told you, sih”

Fajri. His hand rubbed his other fingers. His eyes glanced at his flaming phone with the constant notifications from Jihan. A little surprised because even at almost twelve in the evening, the woman still made sure to go home quickly and reminded him that she had a job tomorrow morning. His smile suddenly appeared but sadness overpowered him.

“Bener, Sa, I'm still a coward. The thing is, yes, I can't sacrifice her happiness and sacrifice our friendship if I cross that line” A sad smile turns into more wry before it's completely gone.

“Gue still doesn't dare to mess up my friendship with Jihan. Although my feelings were bigger than I could have imagined, more than a friend, but I was still self-reliant. Because not forever love will make me and Jihan closer. Not forever this feeling will not make him always close to me. Not forever more relationship of friends between me and Jihan will be the same as when I was still in the same position as him. Kayak now”

“if status, feelings and relationships change, something must change. Things change between me and Jihan if I ask her to be my girlfriend. Maybe people will say that dating with friends is good because it does not change anything. But unfortunately that's not true. Not easily. Everything will change. I'm just afraid that for example I'm more concerned with my feelings and ask him to be my girlfriend, one day suddenly I feel that I am more comfortable in the zone of his same friend, how?”

“Yang name if you already have a relationship when breaking up will lose. I don't want that to happen. Jihan is important to me. I think Lisa's important to you, Al. Or the Hala kayak that is important for Lo, Sa, even though our context is somewhat different”

“If you say I want to have a romantic relationship with Jihan, I want to. I will not lie. I want him to be mine, really mine. I want to hold his hand, remember him, there for him not as a friend, but as a figure who will always be beside him, walk with him, build a family with him. I want to do so”

“but if with that I can lose him, I'm more like gini aja. I prefer it to him as a friend. What he can look for if he needs, that he can for happiness without any secrets, that could be someone to make him lean on and not be ashamed crying in front of me. If I've got all that enough from just being a friend, why do I expect more?”

Fajri smiled a little, making Alpino and Hexa feel like beating Fajri so that he does not show that face again.

“Gue wants to be selfish, I want to be someone who is happy with him in any context. But I'm afraid of hurting him, of limiting him, and I'm also afraid that I can make him cry. I don't want him crying because of me”

His breath was drawn with weight. His voice was a bit shaky, but he managed to save well. Fajri had been through this for a long time, so it was too ordinary for him to hold back all the feelings he had.

“But he also likes lo, Jri?” Hexa lift talk.

“Tau from where does he like me?” Fajri chuckled, returning the question that belonged to Hexa. The man who was asked behind the confusion, was somewhat annoyed because even everyone already knew that Jihan had the same feelings as Fajri.

“The whole world also knows he likes lo, nyet. Don't ask to be made clear, Deh” Hexa is grieving.

“LOH STURDY TO ME AGAIN?!” The hysterical returns. “Gue equals Hala nothing and will not be married. What the fuck, dog?!”

“Tuh, right?” Fajri scoffed in between the giggles he shared. “Taste of people no one knows only from mere assumptions and words of people, or attitudes shared for the eyes of the general public. No one knows until the person realizes and confesses to himself”

“In fact, there are people who pretend, there are also those who do not understand but even try and pretentious or pretentious about what he experienced. For me, the second typical Jihan. He doesn't understand his own feelings. Especially about the heart, he is not a person who really knows what his heart wants. So, I won't believe anything about Jihan's feelings until the child is self-conscious, fully aware. He's just comfortable with me and he might be misinterpreting his feelings. That's doang”

Alpino and Hexa fell silent with Fajri's recognition. That's totally out of the ordinary. The pain in his eyes could not be lied to, but Fajri seemed to understand more than anyone. He could control himself and he was even aware with the gazes given by his friends.

“Gue,” Alpino jerks as Fajri returns to voice. “Gue is also insecure about the actual work, haha. My work is still loose, still honorary as well. While he is still, already have income every month and have a good future. He deserves better than me. I've resigned if for example later he met someone who is suitable for him, who can take care of him and happyin him more than me. I sincerely born inner to let him go Because now, I prioritize happiness and freedom he”

Alpino and Hexa feel down. It felt far away with the level of resignation that Fajri could give them. Fajri is seen holding back laughter as Hexa and Alpino throw away faces so they don't show the sick and sad expressions they can display. Fajri himself has understood everything, he already knows what he can and cannot get. So, he preferred to be in a neutral position in his life.

If he could advance with sufficient consideration of aspects, he would advance. But if just retreating was the right answer from an aspect he had already carefully considered, he would not refuse to back down. He had already tested the water, so whatever he would be faced with later, he could already choose very clearly. This time, the thing that supported him to retreat was already clearly seen, so he had two more points to retreat to.

Its alright. After all, in life, having pain is natural.

“Udah, ah, why on mellow gini, sih”

Fajri chooses to grab his last drink before he pulls back on his phone and answers a message from Jihan. The time had already shown twelve o'clock late and he already had to go home. Remember the promise he made to Jihan when he told her that he was going to get together with Alpino and Hexa.

“Maybe if I am not stopped by Bang Sinar, I am also a gala lo, yes, Jri” Alpino feels self-conscious, adding when he is done facing another stone that hit his chest. Fajri laughs.

“Yes, no, lah. It must be so different. Everyone has their own path. Where know your way smoother. You are braver than I am a coward gini”

Alpino rolled his eyes, after all, he even lost before starting. “Unfortunately nothing smooth on my side, yes, Jri” scoffs later.

“Lo too, Sa. Hope you quickly realize before it's too late, yes?” Fajri added, making Hexa look at him with a confused look mixed with a sad expression due to Fajri's own position, making him look very silly.

“Apaan, nyet!”

Tightening the jacket he was wearing, Fajri said goodbye to his two friends.

“Udah, yes, I go home first. All right, you guys, don't dare mabok, look out aj” He laughed then. Her hair that was not laughing at the play of the night wind that was getting colder was blowing. “Don't be too lazy to go home. Wind in tau ras”

“Friendly, boss!”

Alpino laughed, brandishing both his thumbs into the air. Waving her hand as Fajri turned around and actually stepped in to go home. Alpino turned his gaze toward Hexa who had now returned to plucking the remaining food as if not disturbed by anything.

Shaking his head, Alpino put a cigarette in front of Hexa.

“I am excited again, yes. Home a little early in the morning, safe?”

And without words, with a mouth full of tofu meatballs, Heksa nodded and muttered in between the chews which made Alpino wonder why the boy looked to have two far different sides when only being with him and Fajri juxtaposed when he was in the group large.

However, he did not know, was there another Hexa personality that would appear when only being together with Hala? Because according to him, Hexa and Hala are the perfect combination as a real sense of comfort.

...…....

The return trip to the hotel was a very short trip. Whether it was because he who preferred to fight with the contents of his head or he who was daydreaming while carrying his motorbike split the silence that morning. His head was indeed full, it contained too much for him to handle. But not as much as before, he was just trying his best to get back on top of himself.

Many things come in and make the mind load. Much shock is shared, but much relief is coming in although it does not completely make way for some problems. As much as he was carrying and he took out in the form of a story, a ball inside his chest and maybe in his black stomach was very hungry to pull him into the groan of negative feelings.

Like a ball of maghnet that only draws its side and negative thoughts, it lodged there so that it could not think of good things that did not even a minute ago happened.

He felt free, yes, of course, even a little.

He feels light, right.

He felt he could breathe easily, which he was very grateful for.

But when the four cold walls of the boarding room greeted him, a negative aura re-emerged, a deep black sense on his tongue was again present. The thing Alpino hates is, why does a black feeling always arise when he is alone in a room that is only a patch that should be his comfortable place? Why does all abstract thinking always have to come up even though he already threw it away when he was outside?

Alpino inadvertently blinked, resuscitating him from things beyond consciousness that he was able to remember in his head. It's three in the morning when she realizes and sees a digital clock flashing over her nightstand. In his hand was already open his laptop and one photo that made his heart squeeze with pain and warmth at the same time. The folder she named “My Dandelie Blossom” contains many photos of Lisa and herself together there, or just a photo of Lisa. With various ages and moments that have been captured by the camera of his phone or his own camera, or even from people who managed to capture their moment together. It is stored safely on various devices that he has and even has a copy of it in his favorite flash. The things he always had were close to him. The togetherness stored in the screen and portraits and also the memories that he can remember back.

His eyes stopped on one photo where he also stopped scrolling shows in his photo album. It had two little faces of 7-year-olds on a swing and were smiling at each other. It was a photo taken by her mother when she picked her up one day when the young woman made it home earlier than her job. His fingers moved around stroking the photo. His memories went back on the air and he had unconsciously smeared a smile of returning memories.

But then, his fingers stopped on the ear-dotted pendulum earrings that became the beginning of their meeting. He was silent for a long time before he kept his laptop back. His hand violently pulled his bottom drawer. Alpino fell to his knees to pull out a box he kept well, cared for well and hidden so that no one's naughty hands would pick up and damage it.

It was a key English bobble earring that Lisa gave her when she fell ill and they had a fight because of her jealousy. He still kept it well, and was the one thing he could hold tightly close to his heart. A most important object, which became the glue of his fractured heart, but also scratched some fragments that tried to break away due to the opposite pain.

There was a sweet smile that turned bitter. Alpino breathed heavily. Again, only a breath that he was able to breathe out, replacing the confused voice of his heart, he wanted to start from where to tell stories of pain and happiness that attract each other and break away and contrast but could not stay away. They rotate in orbit but chase and evade each other.

Alpino realized that he had already failed to the first step of his feelings. That damn promise made him unable to do anything. Imaginary lines that look real shrink his guts. If it could be juxtaposed with Fajri, maybe he was a more cowardly person. But who is he to do it? He is someone who holds the promise and most appreciates the promise itself. For whatever reason, no one could make him deny anything he had promised.

How depressing..

“Whatever to keep you close to me, Lisa. Whatever I can do to keep lo, give attention that I can make lo, anything that can make you happy I will do. I'm going to kabulin just for lo doang, Lis. As long as I can still be near you and still be able to fight for your happiness, that's enough for me even though only a friend"

"That's what Fajri said, Lis. Is there anything more meaningful than a relationship as long as I can still have you by my side? As long as I can still be happyin, lo?”

Alpino. His fingers rubbed the earrings pendulum before returning it to its original place. Safe and unreachable by anyone but himself.

“Funny,ya. Sometimes people are not brought together. But it's okay. I am happy to have met you, Nalisa. So, as long as I can still see you, I am satisfied with what I can get”

His voice resounded in the quiet space, before he continued;

“Gue sincerely origin lo happy, Nalisa”

But when her memory comes back to the fact that Lisa is not happy with the one-sided matchmaking that happened, she can only moan and hit the hard floor. His flushed hands ignored him because the heartache further dispelled his common sense. He looks so helpless. Suddenly emotions overpowered him again.

“Bang Damn ray!! Just be careful if Lisa is not happy at the hands of Bang Noren like what you promised me. Dog!”

Then there's silence. The room was filled with his hunting breath. Her memory teased back, resuscitating her as she let out a last, terribly sad sigh when she knew that she had to give up.

“Emang if the same me, Lisa can be happy?”

That painful whisper of consciousness disappeared in the dark of his cold room. With the clock pointing at the number three over fifteen minutes taunting him.

...….....

It was 3am when he managed to park his motorbike in the bright yard of his house. The headlights are already on and Hexa is sure of the inside as well. Heksa was also convinced that the bed he had not had time to make before leaving was already laughing neatly waiting for his presence there. Also, the clean room was ready to welcome him well.

Of course he knows who did it, and memorizes how it looks and is done. Who else if not Hala? A friend since his childhood who is very dear to him, who keeps him until entering the age of two heads. Their relationship was so close that Hexa would be aware of the little things that would happen between the two. The little things they shared and the little things that would happen if he measured the reaction he would get.

Staring at his house not so impressed, he chose to close the garage to keep his bike safe, and then lock his fence to waltz into the quiet house next door. Heksa believes the owner of the house is already sleeping comfortably in his bed. Leaving her fussy cat in the hours like now.

The man opened the fence not too difficult as he also had the lock key they shared together. And entering the house was an easy thing because the house keys were also in his hands and united with his own motor keys. He won't linger, he thought. Heksa just wanted to check on Hala before he went back to his house to rest.

When he went inside, he seemed to have memorized all the positions inside the house. The building itself seemed to have belonged to him from how long the years he had spent in and lived in the house itself. Evidently from a small habit done by Hala, which is to let the middle room lights remain lit so that his cat, Pipang (a strange name but let it be, for Hexa, for example, Hala is also a species that is as strange as all her possessions that women sometimes give her name as their possession. So do not be surprised when he calls his laptop by the name of Leppi, or his cell phone named Mimi)- Agar Pipang can play freely in the living room even though it is not much needed because the cat can see clearly in the dark of the night.

Heksa found Pipang sitting comfortably on the sofa. Snoring when hearing footsteps and maybe know who the parents are. The cat immediately jumped from where it relaxed and snorted at its feet, calling the attention of Hexa who giggled amusedly and affectionately. Hexa crouched down, lifted Pipang into her arms and kissed the black cat fondly.

Hala calls herself the unattentive foster Papa, but Hala did not know that Heksa himself already considered Pipang as part of himself and secretly he would spoil the cat with a lot of food and toys that he bought secretly. Or when Hala is at work and she is not, she will take Pipang for a walk and take the cat to the animal beauty salon to take care of her soft fur.

“Pipang kangen same Papa, yes?” Hexa called out softly. His voice was flattered and whispered like he was pampering his own son. Heksa chuckled as Pipang replied with a lick in the nose that the male cat spirit gave him.

“Yes, Papa also misses Pipang. Tomorrow we go for another walk, huh, son?” Heksa giggled at the sound of a cute meow before Pipang sniffed his cheek and licked it there. He anxiously hugged the cat before lowering the cat back onto the sofa.

“After this hour, Papa just wants to see your fussy mama before going home, huh? Healthy healthy son-in-law Papa Hexa” Last he gave a kiss on the black cat's head and a fond scratch on the chin of the cheek that was answered with a meow sounding smaller.

Heksa walked towards the kitchen to finish his thirst before moving to Hala's room. He pressed the light switch to light up the kitchen room. Heading straight to the fridge only to find the post that read the prohibition to drink Hala's Coke Zero. A tantalizing curiosity arose, so, rather than taking mineral water, he opened the refrigerator with the zeal to find the soda in question. A sneer appeared before he finally picked up and downed the forbidden drink. Humming then, Hexa felt pleased. He wonders what Hala's tomorrow will be for him.

Hala's house feels many times more alive and inhabited than his own home. Perhaps it was because of the familiar feeling of having people around and not feeling alone, it might also be the feeling that he was accompanied for most of the time. And maybe it's also the result of him staying here often even most of the time. It feels comfortable, of course. And the thing that the hexes like the most is this;

Seeing Hala fall asleep soundly in her room filled with a wide variety of dolls from big to small and on one side is a large closet containing her collection of K-pop abums and strange photo-hangersphotos of his favorite idol. The boy looks freak, but that is the hallmark of Hala and his hobby, he also will not grumble about it. Everyone has his likes, and Hala's likes are what he values because Hala also values his likes. They are often tempting, but only a joke.

But what Heksa likes most about this is the warmth given only from the mere presence of Hala. He felt so comfortable he was sleepy that when he woke up to work tomorrow, his sleeping body in any position would stay fresh. He would be excited only when Hala was around in all sorts of aspects. It feels like home, he says.

Heksa gulped down his drink before closing the door slowly. He put the canned drink on the nightstand, away from things that are easily wet and dangerous, he said, away from the binder of the Korean collection that Hexa does not know what it is but always in the care of Hala as it is part of his life. So, he was careful about it.

Approaching, he sat in the empty part of space left behind by the sleeping form of Hala. His eyes looked dearly and appreciative to the drooling woman. Hexa chuckles funny. Taking out the closest tissue, he rubbed the tip of Hala's lips gently before throwing the old tissue into the trash can from just one throw.

His hand involuntarily, as was the custom, rubbed Hala's head gently. Wiping the haircut that was blocking Hexa from her vision stares at the woman's alluring funny face that sometimes sucks and just wants her to cover up with black plastic so as not to hurt her eyes, even though it only happened when he was upset and they were having a silly fight.

“Capek really, yeah, La? So his sleep was like a gini” cow He laughed again, happy with the joke that was thrown to no one. In fact, if Hala woke up, he was sure that something would float into his face or pinch inscribed on his body.

“Tau no, La? There was something funny. Alpino time with Fajri why are we dating? Even if we want to get married. It's so funny, isn't it?” Heksa shook his own head to hear his voice echoing in Hala's warm room space. He allowed the blanket to sag from Hala's arm. Tidying it up well.

Hexa yawns, feeling drowsiness taking over her.

“We are not that. You know what, La? If you were a valuable person to me. People who always understand me. The one who was always there for me. Lo, La, the one who always made me comfortable and the one I always held above myself. Do you know that I love the same, Lo?” Heksa rubbed Hala's cheek with affection. His smile came along with his confident speech.

“Lo is in the highest caste for me. I can't see you as the person I keep in my heart as a romantic feeling. I love you, love you not as a boy or a girl or as a couple. But as Hexa and Hala. The ones that are always there, who are always together and always look after each other

Hexa stretched her body. He threw away his thoughts to go back to his own home. Heksa, taking off his hoodie and his trousers, left them only in his favorite boxer and white t-shirt, crawled up to lie next to Hala. Raise the blanket and let it in and secure yourself.

“Hala, you must understand that my dream is big, right?”

I don't know who he's talking to, Hexa doesn't care. He just wanted to make it clear.

“Tadi Fajri nanya to me. A ridiculous question according to I”

The hexa moves from its supine position. He slipped his hands around Hala's waist to hug the woman like they usually do. Heksa felt very comfortable as he rested his nose behind Hala's head. Smell the smell of shampoo that is familiar for his sense of smell.

“He asked, is my dream bigger than my efforts to make happy you. Mastiin happiness lo” he continued his story even though the drowsiness fog had started dragging him in the dreamland caress.

“Lo surely know your happiness according to me is the most important for me. Because ever since you came that time and saved me, ngejagain me, even protect me, I have definitely and have promised myself to keep you and mastiin happiness lo”

His voice was starting to sound like a joke.

“Lo also said that if I am happy you must also be happy, right?” there was a strange murmur as he tightened his embrace on Hala's stomach. Looking for a warmer place for him to sleep in the next few time. “so, if I managed to achieve my dream, you must also be happy, right?”

“Question Fajri emang very strange” She chuckles. Breathe deeply before breathing again. This time I was ready to fall asleep.

“Lo doesn't have the same feeling as me more than I should have, right?”

“Gue trust the same lo, La. I love you, Hala. Sweet dreams.”

The room became quiet. The dreamland was cradled, the resulting warmth made him sleep with a small smile of pleasure.

But far from what he wanted and believed, Hala had been sick. Pain caused by the Hexuin itself.

So, how did Hexa measure her own sanity when she had unknowingly hurt the only person she said was the owner of the highest caste in her life?

...…....

...🍁...

...Bro Time: One-Sided Feelings and Decisions (Hurt or Be Hurt?)...

🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁

Hola! Chocooya comes 🥰

Choco want to thank you guys who have stopped by and read Choco's work to this chapter~ finally Choco has the opportunity to write a note here hehe🥰

Thank you for taking the time to read and support this FIYT Book, I hope you like and enjoy the storyline ya~

Choco just wanted to say, from today to the next month, FIYT will be present in a fairly small word but will be sought for faster updates than the previous chapter🤗 hopefully like yes with new chapters that will be present from FIYT🥰

Oh yes, while waiting for the FIYT update, Choco brought a cool Novel Recommendation from author Mama Reni, nih! Don't forget to stop by and provide support yaa🤩️️🔥

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...🍁*PROMO NOVEL BY MAMA RENI🍁...

...TITLE: NEGLECTED LOVE**...

Arumi Nadya Karima, a woman born into a family.

His life is perfect when he marries a handsome man named Gibran Erlangga.

His two-year marriage to Gibran was always considerate and pampering. Arumi thinks she is the luckiest woman, until one day the harsh reality must be accepted.

Gibran turned out to be his love all along. The attention he gave was only to cover up the affair. Arumi was very disappointed and hurt. His love has been ignored by Gibran. The man is willing to torture himself.

Will Arumi survive or choose to split?

Don't forget to stop by and give ya🥰 support

Happy reading❤