Falling Into Your Trap
A Place of Escape; A Candidate Home Where the Heart is Directed. Part 3

Sinar understood that he was raving for a long time. This is confirmed by how their position changes. Right now they were already lying on the cold floor, next to each other like the bowling room was both of them and no one could disturb whatever he and Hala were doing there. Actually it's like that. Sinar rents a special bowling room just for him and Hala so that he can pour out many words without being hindered by the judgmental gaze of others who have never been inside the same shoes as him. All he needed was a concoction of how he felt that he wanted to let out in a loud voice. Accompanied by the only person he held close to his heart and wished that the person was by his side in all forms of ugly things that he messed up.

The light does not cry. He felt proud of himself that no tears had come out that night when he let out his pent-up emotional form after so long. Even so, his feelings were greatly relieved from how much burden he had put into the outside world just from his muttering lips vomiting words. Starting from sad things to make him angry, then back to the painful things about the feelings and life of the burden he carries.

Hala on the other hand, listened patiently. The woman did not even take her eyes off the Rays and just kept quiet, occasionally giving her a response with gestures that showed that she was listening to the entire emotional spill of the Rays. The man felt very grateful that tonight he was accompanied by the right man. Although at some time Hala seemed to disagree with his condescending remarks, but the woman did not comment because she did not want to interrupt anything that Sinar raised.

It was only now, when they were just lying on the cold floor with both views focused on the ceiling of the room, loneliness took them hostage from how Sinar's lips clenched and swallowed some words that he could not express clearly and loudly. There was a personal reason for that, but now, he was waiting for the response that Hala would give him.

Their breaths sounded louder in the quiet room. The light moved his hand to grab Hala's fingers in his grasp. Quietly, he needs it to control himself and also make sure that he's not alone. The hope in his chest was bursting in a roar about how he wanted Hala not to see him as a bad figure after he released his ugly monster into the outside world. He could not be sure, only hope that came in his heartbeat that splashed a bit of regret. Now, he just had to wait for what Hala would comment on about the ugly rags for almost an hour when he saw a number board on one of the walls of the room that indicated the time.

“Very heavy live lo, yes, Sister..”.

The light held his breath as Hala spoke the word in a slight response that made him slash. He smiled wryly, trying to recover his breathing in a calm rhythm. There was a slight swish on his chest as he felt Hala's fingers stroking the surface of his hand. He felt somewhat better than what he expected because Hala did not give him any ugly comments after what the woman heard.

“During this time I think your life is safe-safe just know, Kak” Mata Hala look for his eyes when they move to change position. Now, Hala moved all of her body to the right side facing towards the Rays. The man was rather surprised by the words that were thrown out and the seriousness that came from Hala. It was not that Hala was not serious from the start, but that she felt more in the overall notice.

Unfortunately, the Light was careless at something. That's why he quickly opened his voice in questioning.

“But you've been squirming I cry ugly when it still says my life is safe?”

“Yaampun, bentar. I have not finished talking already in refutation aja” Hala grimaced when he saw the bias on Sinar's face. “Bentang dong, ah, Sister. I have a reason!”

“What?”

Hala breathed an irritated breath with both eyes twisting in a deliberate dramatization. The waiting beam, returned in the same apparent seriousness as before. A sense of uneasiness arose unexpectedly where Hala could feel it even just by diving in those deep clear dark eyes.

“In my defense,” The woman started. His fingers are still busy rubbing the skin of the back of the hands of Rays with the same patterned movements and regular. “Gue just like Lisa from small. Around the age of ten and Lisa Nine. Every play with him, I rarely squirm lo, brother. In fact, I know that Lisa has a sister from the photos on display at her home”

“Lisa always told me that her sister was really cool. Although rarely met, Lisa knows that you always give the best for the family but still with love for him from the small things. Every time you give a gift to Lisa, she tells me proudly. Every time you tell him, even by starting a video call or random pap here and there, Lisa never bosen ngabarin me and said that she loves the same lo and kangen very lo. You are always the best for Lisa from any angle it”

“Tau no, anyway? I'm in the same doctrine every positive story Lisa about you so be amazed as you, sister. I became curious every time playing to the family home you to meet you. I'm really curious to know that Lisa's adored sister actually how to meet in person. I even have a plan if I meet you, I want to learn to make adek I am proud and love the same I like Lisa lo. You see, in the eyes of Lisa, you are as perfect as her brother she and as the eldest Cakrawijaya”

There was an incision in his heart, it felt so bad that it caused bleeding inside. The light shakes in its seriousness. Her heart was squeezed hard when Hala mentioned Lisa's feelings for her as the older sister and firstborn in the family. His chest was tight, so he did not know that he had already gripped Hala's fingers with both hands. His eyes were tightly closed, trying not to cry because of the shock that Hala had brought. She had not cried so far, but if Hala had revealed her sister's adoration of her lame self, she did not know if she could hold back her tears any longer.

She's shy. He is the eldest Cakrawijaya who should not cry, not be taught as a crybaby boy. But his heart was being scratched at this moment. He could feel the support rope getting thinner and sliced.

Hala understood what happened to the recation of Sinar, so the woman gave a pause to the story. He left his hands in clutches in the clutches of iron. It doesn't matter if it will go numb and red in the next few days. He won't comment on that. Let the light try to calm down.

“Lo certainly do not know and do not remember the first time we met kayak how, Kak.but, yes, there is nothing special from our first meeting. I am still a teenage boy finally met you in the same way amazed when you came to the reception of new students in Junior High School for Lisa replace your parents who again have a job important. From there, I know why Lisa is the same. Because you are the same attention he is even from small things and how you are really like a brother adek that makes everyone jealous of your brotherhood relationship”

“Gue always pay attention to how lo ngetreat Lisa and also her friends used to include me and Alpino. Lo affection, tuh, like endless for adek lo, my brother was amazed at the oath of the same time. So, every time you come to Indo, I always pay attention to your movements and attitudes. I analyze, anyway, everything from what you do. And from there I can say that your life is safe and can even be said to live very smoothly brother. Kayak, yes, you are as perfect as that so man”

“No perfect human being, Dek”

The rays pulled Hala's fingers to bring her near her nose. The fingers that had been perfectly stretched with his big hand, he put it right on his nose in regular breathing and both eyes closed to listen to whatever Hala said. His emotions were mixed and he could not establish where he was now. He felt sick in a bad good way.

“Iya I tau” Hala responds to previous speech. “That's why I was a little surprised to see you crying in that chair. In front of Grandma's funeral. Even though it was a very late afternoon, visitors were also somewhat reduced. I plan to come for Lisa nenangin, but instead end nenangin lo who is already crying ugly, Kak”

“Emang ugly, I realize. I was weak at the time, very sad. Though I should not cry, yes?”

“Huss, fuck. If you say so mending diem aja. It is not important” Hala babbles with a ketus tone. In the closed eyes, Sinar could feel that Hala was scolding him like a child.

“But seriously, Sis. I did not think of anything other than lo emang again lost aja. I never knew it was a bigger problem than loss. Sorry, yes, my sister at that time could not do anything but talk about strange things and even with the heroic I nenangin and even touch you carelessly. I was horrified by what I did”

The eyes of the light opened quickly. His sparkle drew out both of Hala's eyes with a gaze that most disagreed with the unnecessary utterance of apology. It was useless, because the coming of Hala was a gift given to him. Something he deeply appreciates and thanks. So, now, he did not like to hear the woman ruin the precious memories that he held close to his heart. The first time he falls in love and finds a home in the dark that threatens to kill and drown him.

“Don't ruin that day by seeing what you did. I hate it when you say that. As long as you know, that day is very important and valuable for me”

It was a firmness that he gave in a serious and straight look to the gasping Hala. The woman looked rather horrified with the high and offended tone that Sinar gave her.

“Kak, it's a day of misfortune lo... why even say it's valuable to lo?”

The light clenched his jaw. He removed Hala's fingers from his grasp and moved to immediately sit down. Again, he felt like a fool trying to put a name on the emotion that was now rolling inside his chest. It came with another roar that made him want to be angry and upset -, accompanied by the grief that dragged behind him. The light restrained himself from thinking straight back. He couldn't tell me what he really felt that day. Not now, not yet.

Hala who knew not to draw a line in the conversation about it, immediately understood. He returned to his back position before continuing. Trying to be more careful. The woman did not want to go back to making Sinar crazy.

“OK, so from what I said earlier, I actually from the beginning look at you as a figure that is easy to admire. But I realize and apologize because emang, I never thought more advanced about your struggle behind it. All I can say is, I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you suffered that long with that crazy burden that you bear, brother. I'm sorry”

A light gasped, she turned to Hala who was chanting a sincere smile of apology on her face. The woman immediately got up and accompanied him to sit in the same gesture position.

“Gue heard all that you told from the beginning and nothing that I did not try to digest and understand from every word you said, Brother. Honestly, I am sick with how your own life story. If I were you, there might be times when I go crazy. But then again, I know that there really is no one who does not have a myriad of problems behind it. Maybe it's because I feel sorry for myself and my own problems too often, so all I see is that people are living well. Turns out I forgot, if they could hide everything behind the scenes that they were trying to hide in”

The rays frowned, trying to digest Hala's words which made her head hurt a little. There was a strange smile of tang tertoreh but the woman tried to throw it with a waving hand trying to throw away unnecessary words from the wind that caught around.

“But, there are some things I have to draw a line here, Kak” continued the woman as if she had a myriad of words to say. “Lo story about your pain during this time. Lo story about how failed you become a friend and how failed you become a good brother for adek lo without telling me the real context behind the two problems”

Rays gasp. He should have known that Hala was able to catch all the unspoken words in a secret that still had to be harbored.

“Sorry.”

“Not to apologize, Brother. I know that not everything can be as free as you want. But I can take a little something from this. Your relationship with Kak Noren will no longer be okay aka you guys fight, and your relationship with Lisa also again there is a little problem”

“But I don't know why you can say yourself failed to be a good brother after what I said about how much Lisa amazed and love you the same? About how good you ngetreat Lisa like she is the most valuable person you have? You must be crazy to say you failed to be a big brother. I don't accept”

As long as Hala knew, the woman would definitely curse at him and address him with a myriad of ugly words and failures that he deserved. Hala knew what he had done…

“But, from what I can catch, there is no way you have the same problem two people at once who are tied... in the problem... matchmaking.?”

Hala's eyes were bulging, she was flabbergasted as she turned completely at Rays. The man who was now half-shocked died because Hala was able to hit him down on the spot where he didn't even mention it specifically.

“Moreover what you did this time, Kak?”

“Hala.”

The woman shook her head, shuffling her hair in frustration. He might find a point where he could connect it into a whole story. The light felt a bit scared now.

“Lo.. trust me, right, La? Lo says, you can believe me even if it's just zero point percent. Lo... believe that I've done my best, right?”

“Kak, that's not the case.” Hala let out a breath. He fell silent as he drowned his head between his two bent knees. It was silent for a long while before he only complained in the same frustrating complaint.

“Gue doesn't know exactly what happened. But.. if I say from the beginning you've been wrong, how?” His eyes were sharp, staring at the Light with a stern question.

“Hala..please, can not lo in my position..for this time?”

“Gue has said that you definitely know what is best for Lisa because you are her brother.” Hala sighed, tired and worried. But he looks resigned more than anything. “Gue try to keep believing the same lo, Kak. asal lo also believe in yourself lo”

The light biting on her lower lip hard, it could bleed if Hala did not immediately pull her jaw gently so that her lips slipped from the snare. There was a small smile on Hala's face that was not too far from his breathing zone. He could still smell the woman's soothing scent.

“Gue can't go far because it's not the zone I've been working with. But, because you know the best, I'm sure you can overcome all the problems that occur. Anyway, what I'm asking for right now and most importantly, Nalisa. Adek lo, brother, I want him all right. And with this, I know you must also be begging the same, right?”

Rays nodded. Of course, the most important thing was his sister for now. He just had to try to keep the younger brother from the other Noren cunning. Perhaps, if it was true that the marriage would continue, he made sure to stand by his sister's side. However, his biggest fear is, his submission to his parents' obedience and incompetence in guarding. His crazy fear and his obedience to higher powers will keep him from wrinkling. But Hala doesn't have to know that.

The light felt very sad. He pityes himself.

“OK, if so, nice” Cheerful voice from Hala surprises Sinar. The woman jumped to her feet and extended her hand in front of Cakrawijaya's elder. The light grabbed it slowly, bracing itself from the things that were actually still not peeled away.

“Let's go home. You should have a full break, brother!” Hala laughed, as if they had not previously only listened to the ugliness and dropped the crazy matter that made her want to tear herself into small fragments, she said, or even make him think he wants to be a plant that only photosynthesizes and does not encounter many crazy problems.

“Gue won't let you sleep too late, sister. Comeing! You should drink warm milk before going to bed so that you feel more relieved and light. You also have to clean and replace with warm pajamas. You are also sebelu-“

“Sleep with me, La.”

“HAH?!”

Hala's response gasped, making Sinar conscious with the words he said accidentally. He was too lazy when he sounded too ambiguous.

“I mean, you sleep in my place. I still don't want to be alone”.

“Loh? Is there a Lisa?”

“Not, to my apartment. My private apartment, La”

“Lo has Apart, Brother?”

Sinar pulled Hala's fingers again in hope that he chalked up with a faint smile on his face. His gaze was straight at the woman he was now in his grasp, hoping that Hala would not reject him.

For a long time they were silent in a somewhat awkward position. But the light held firm to his request. And when Hala just sighed deeply which was too exaggerated, Sinar knew he was winning at this.

“OK. But, tell Lisa first. I'm sure he's worried because you haven't come home yet. And I, must tell Hexa to tell him to nemenin flat at home”

Ignoring the last utterance, Sinar's phone was already in his hands in an instant with caller id Lalily decorating the screen in a call that was trying to connect.

At least tonight, that empty Apart, can be transformed into warmth when he brings his house to stay there. Even if only for a moment.

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...A Place of Escape; A Candidate Home Where the Heart is Directed. Part 3's...

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...PROMOTION OF SANTI SUKI'S NOVELS...

...TITLE: WIDOWER VS VIRGIN CHILD...

Yusuf, young and cool widower who has one child. Because the goodness of his character is much liked by the women. Zulaikha, still in OSIS uniform .Bilqis, an intern at her son's school. Sarah, the young CEO of her boss in the office. Joseph raised Asiah alone. Active little girl with strong curiosity. His intelligence and style of speech often make people die of fleas.