IT'S NOT MY FAULT TO LOVE YOU
Decisions

Kimy pov

I cried bitterly in my room after Gilang's departure. My heart is as broken as it is. Tell me my lover loves me so much. My lover who is very possessive of me, I made him hurt so deeply. I'm sorry Gilang. If I had a choice, you'd be the only man in my life. You're the only man I'm gonna marry. This is too complicated for me. My life has been ruined. Let this meaningless life get ruined, I don't care anymore.

At 19:00 pm I woke up. It turned out that after crying I fell asleep for that long.

"Non Kimy had dinner first, sir's been waiting.."

I rose from my sleep, a dip from my long hair and I stood in front of the big mirror in my room.

God, my eyes are bitten by a wasp.

Crying for so long and falling asleep made my eyes swell. I went out of my room and down the stairs, I saw the papi was there waiting for me.

"Kimy.." I just smiled and didn't answer. My mood is still messy and I'm lazy to talk.

"Darling, did you cry?.."

"Kimy doesn't want to talk about pi." I replied.

"Key.." Papi obeys my will, we eat in silence and with our own minds. After I finished my meal, I entered my room again. I ignored the papi who was still at the dinner table. Actually I can't bear to ignore papi, papi must be very lonely without mami. But I don't know, my heart really can't be compromised.

I heard my door open, but I didn't care who came in. I am currently standing on the balcony of my room. Looking at the sky that looks bright tonight.

"You're angry at me?." there was a voice of the papi who was next to me. I looked at Papi, I looked at the man who was still handsome even though he was no longer young. There was a stroke of sadness there.

I smiled, I grabbed my hand and held it tight. "Why should Kimy be angry with papi?.."

"Is it because you talk too much in the media?.." He asked me what seemed to be waiting for my answer but I ignored him.

"Pi's.."

"You don't want this wedding, honey?.." Ask carefully.

My heart trembled at it, wanting to answer "yes" but my mouth was silent, just a blank look I gave papi.

"But heard that Gilang came here?.."

Deg

"Darling, finish what's not done. Don't make two men hope for you. Papi appreciate all your decisions, anything that makes you happy papi will definitely support you.."

My tears fell down my cheeks. I hugged the man in front of me. I was crying in his arms. I want to shed all the feelings that are in my heart.

"You know Tristan has transferred his shares in the name of papi?.." I'm nodding.

"But I think he loves you very much, baby. What makes you doubt, what makes you sad?.." I shook my head, I was confused as to what to answer.

"Kimy.."

"Kimy is getting married to Tristan pi. That's Kimy's decision." answered me with still a position in the papi deck.

"The police believe in your decision. Papi wants you to be happy. But Kimy, as a parent. Please take care of Tristan's feelings. Don't let other men come near you, let alone hope for you. You know what papi means, right?.."

I nodded "Kimy promised papi.."

From now on I have decided, I will learn to forget about Gilang. Papi was so happy because the company he had built up from youth was back in his hands. Especially what I'm looking for. Happiness, life. That's not my priority. My life was ruined because of that asshole. Let this broken life be with him. He who destroys me, he also has to take responsibility for me.

**

That night Gilang unceasingly drank again. After a long time he left the unclean stuff, now he is back. This time he drank in his apartment. The bottles were scattered on the guest table. And Gilang's appearance was already very chaotic.

The apartment bell rang, Gilang got up, with a stagger he walked towards the door of his apartment. In the doorway and there was a nadine figure there.

"Say you why?.."

"Ck.. You again. What are you doing here?.." An intermediate cross was always the nadine and nadine that appeared before him.

Nadine barges in and sees the bottles strewn there. "astaga, what happened lang? Why is it like this again.."

Gilang walked over limped, he ignored the nadine question. "Lang, is it because of Kimy again?.."

"Shiit, shut up don't say his name again.."

Nadine sighed, she could already guess that all of this must be because of Kimy. Nadine approaches Gilang. He held both of Gilang's arms. "Why lang, why did you become like this? Why did you ruin your life. Your life is precious to the one who loves you. Don't insult yourself anymore lang. Appreciate yourself.."

"Fuck me. I don't care.." nadine was surprised Gilang who usually spoke quite politely could say such harsh words.

"Go, I want to be alone.." Cross pushing nadine's arm.

"I'm not leaving.."

"Whatever.." Gilang left nadine in his place. He came back with the drink that was still on the table.

**

I squirm as I feel my stomach feel heavy. I slowly turned my body and opened my eyes. I was so surprised, there was this Tristan jerk beside me. He seemed to close his eyes. His hand is currently in my stomach.

Why is he here, since when?

I tried to get her hands off my stomach. I slowly lifted up, but when I almost put the hand on his body, he pulled me into his arms. His hands hugged my stomach tightly and his feet locked my legs. Now I really can't move.

I felt his heartbeat and his body warm. This scent, I remember when he used to hold me like this. And this time it repeats itself after all this time. Not the perfume of course. A scent that I find difficult to express. Like the smell of cigarettes mixed with wine. But somehow the smell actually makes it even more mysterious.

"Your heart is pounding, dear?.." Tristan's voice suddenly, made me a little surprised.

"You're not sleeping. Let go of me." I shouted.

"Pst.. Be still. Miss you. I've been holding him for a week.." Answer with eyes closed.

"When did you come?.."

"Semalem. From the airport I'm straight here.."

"Airport. Where are you from?.."

"From korea.." Answer origin.

I was trying to sit up, it felt like I couldn't breathe in that position. "Take me off, I'm gonna take a shower.."

Suddenly Tristan opened his eyes "Good idea, we shower together.."

"Nooo!!!!.." I shouted. Tristan just chuckled to see me screaming out loud in front of his face. I looked at her face closely, her dimples as she laughed so clearly. This man, my God, I fell for him. With charm like this. Long ago.

I turned my face away, I didn't want to fall into the same hole twice. I don't want to fall for the charms of this psychopathic man, who easily makes people fall in love and throws them so deep. I don't want to.

It felt like the shadow was still always appearing, the shadow of how he was tormenting me. Kick me blindly. I was so traumatized to remember. I almost died because of that. But my son saved me and he was the victim. I'll never forget that.

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